Come Undone
by BuildMeUpButtercup-x
Summary: Life was full of promises, Life had Come Undone. B/A AU.
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters**

 **feedback welcome**

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"You promise me that you'll call as soon as you get there?" Angel looked up from the box that he was taping closed and smiled, all he had heard since that morning was this; along with constant updates about the travel conditions he might face.

He stood up and wrapped an arm around her "Yeah mom, I'll call you… I'll even send smoke signals to you too" he kissed the top of her head the chuckled when she swatted him in the stomach and grumbled about him not being funny.

She busied herself folding up the last of his clothes that he was taking in the suitcase on the flight and sniffled back some tears, he dropped the shirt he was folding onto the floor and pulled her against him "I'm only an hour away on a plane, If you need me I can be here in a drop of a hat"

Katherine nodded mutely then shook her head "look at me; worrying about you, my son, you'll do well in your new job! And maybe you'll meet some of the friends you had at school!" she patted his stomach then went back to folding.

Angel hmm'd in response, yeah, maybe he would meet some school friends… that's if they still lived in Sunnydale, hell even if they still remembered him. The last time he was in Sunny-D was eight years ago, when he told his friends that they were moving out of state.

In the eight years since they had left, he had tried to keep up with everyone back home through letters and phone calls, gradually over time they became less and less until he called Philly his new home and no one back in California spoke to him.

It wasn't like everyone had fallen out, that wasn't the case at all; just life got in the way, working through all the exams in high school, applying for college and working towards his degree; that took precedence, as it did for all of them.

His best friends in junior year were Oz and Xander, they weren't part of the A-List but they weren't picked on either, middle ground and liked by all – that suited them well. He had truly missed the guys over the years and hoped that they were still around to catch up on.

Angel shouldered on his jacket and picked up the small bag that he was taking on the plane with him, the movers were ready to pack and ship his belongings on his behalf. Taking one last look around his home he smiled.

At the airport he had spent every minute until he _really_ had to go with his mom and dad, saying goodbye. Other than when he went away to College, he had never been away from them; now he was moving back across the country to be in his childhood home.

The signs came on for them to put their seatbelts on and prepare for takeoff; Angel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Once the plane levelled out in the sky he got comfortable and pulled out a book to occupy his mind, which was unsuccessful.

When he applied for the job at the publishing company and heard that they were opening a new office in Sunnydale he jumped at the chance, not just to go back and see his old school friends… but also in the off chance that he might see _her_ again.

Eight long years, they had tried to make something work but being all the way across the country and being as young as they were meant it was difficult; they had lasted only a couple of month to try and make their, whatever they were doing work.

The beautiful blonde in sophomore year caught his attention the moment she transferred to the school in blaze of glory. All everyone could talk about was the LA expat that could charm even the hardest willed teacher to her every whim.

He tried to act cool but felt like a doofus, and then things just clicked. By an off chance they had met, he worked up the courage to ask her out then they spent almost eight month being inseparable before his parents dropped the bombshell that they were moving.

Although they were only together for a short amount of time, their feelings ran deep, it had broke his heart to hear her cry uncontrollably and the promise that he would never forget her. He kept that promise; he never had.

Angel asked for a coke and rum from the flight attendant, he threw that back in one gulp then ordered another. His lip twitched in annoyance; he had never forgotten her – no matter how many girl friends he had had since her but she must have forgotten her side of the promise.

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*Eight years earlier*

"Yo Angel… you listening?" Xander threw a scrunched up ball of paper that smacked him on the side of the face, he jerked out of his daze and growled, throwing one back that hut Xander on the nose "Hey!"

Angel chuckled then looked back to his friends, he had tried not too but he couldn't help but stare at the blonde goddess who was talking animatedly with her group of friends. Buffy was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in this school, or hell, ever seen in general.

His eyes flicked back to her just in time to see her scrunch her nose up playfully then laugh loudly, when he looked back to the table he froze then looked down to his food. It completely escaped Xander where his mind was but Oz had seen it all.

Thankfully the quiet of the bunch didn't say anything; he only kept the same casual look on his face then went back to eating his own food. Angel took a deep breath then took a bite of his lunch, he had yet to speak to her personally but he knew that he would like her.

Oooooooooooooo

He had been trawling through the stacks of books in the public library looking for one or two novels that he wanted to check out, he had lost sight over everything around him, too busy reading the spines of the hardbacks on the shelves when he bumped into someone.

"Oh Sorry! I'm such a klutz" his eyes went from the ground up, taking the time to appreciate her long tanned legs then up past the tight tank top that she was wearing; he cleared his throat and prayed that he wasn't blushing wildly.

Buffy bit her lip and gathered up the books that she had caused to drop to the floor, she felt like an idiot, even more so because she had bumped into tall, dark and handsome that she coveted from afar "H-Here's your books"

Thankfully his hands weren't shaking when he took the books from here "Thanks uh…?" these unexpected nerves were new, never before had he acted shy in front of a girl but there was something about her that made him feel anxious.

"Buffy, my name is Buffy…. and you?" she extended her hand to shake his, his large hand caressed hers softly, her full body tingled with delight as she stared into the dark chocolate of his eyes.

"I'm Angel" she repeated his name in a breathy sigh, like it was pure delight he had experienced, he shifted from foot to foot and smiled at her when she apologised once again "Don't worry about it… they're just books"

Buffy looked at the hardback copies and smiled "What do you need them for?" despite feeling like a nervous school girl she found the words easily, like they had been friends for a long time. Angel looked at the books then back at her, did he want her to know it was for enjoyment and not school?!

"Uh school work…" they weren't in the same year so she was less likely to know that he was lying about his intentions. She pointed to the shelf and pulled one of the books out that had in his and pulled it against her chest.

Instead of trying to act cool, she felt she could be herself "This book is my favourite" she flipped through some of the pages and smiled shyly at him "I love it, I just haven't had the time to buy my own copy of it"

Angel looked down to the title of the book and smiled, he loved that one too; it had been his favourite piece of literary genius that he had come across "Yeah me too" he didn't even feel silly for letting her know because the look he got in return was one of surprise.

"Wow, I've never met anyone who likes this… most of my friends wouldn't dare read a book outside of school" he nodded with agreement, he longed to discuss this with his own friends but one cared about comics and the other cared about music.

They smiled at each other for a few moments then he cleared his throat, the bubble had popped and now it just felt a little awkward. Angel looked at his watch then back to Buffy, he had to check these out then head home for dinner.

Getting over his earlier fear he stood tall "I gotta go Buffy… but if you'd like, we could head over to that new bookshop on Saturday and see if they have some copies?" when her eyes went wide he wanted the ground to swallow him whole, could he have been anymore lame?

It took her a moment for his words to sink in, Angel, the honey from the year above her was asking her out on a date… well not a date-date but it was a date in some way. She nodded slowly so not to look like an idiot "Yeah, that would be good"

Angel flushed with relief then chuckled, she pulled out a pen and scribbled her number on a notepad she had in her purse and tore off the paper to hand to him "Th-this is my number, call me tomorrow and we'll arrange to meet up"

He folded the scrap of paper up carefully and placed it in his pocket "I'll speak to you tomorrow" he smiled one last time and left her standing in the aisle. Once the books were scanned he made his way down the street to his house, unable to wipe the grin off of his face.

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An unexpected patch of turbulence jolted him out of his thoughts, he took a deep breath as he let go of the arm rests that he had grabbed just a moment ago. Slowly he flexed his fingers then relaxed back in the seat.

Angel looked to the book that was lying on the tray table and sighed, it felt like he had been on this plane for hours and needed another drink. Seeing that it had only been fifteen minutes he paused on ordering another one so he wouldn't end up hammered for landing.

He had caught wind that a few years ago she had got married, as in tied to another man, till death do they part. The night he found that out he got drunk out of his mind and woke up feeling incredibly ill – that hangover lasted for days.

Not like he could blame the guy she married; she was wonderful, beautiful, charming and everything in between but they had promised forever. Somewhere over the years forever dissolved and they stopped speaking – he guessed he should he pleased that she found happiness.

His heart clenched for a moment, Buffy was a taken woman, he would never even consider trying breaking her and her husband up; that would be inconceivable so he would settle on being her friend if he could. Being her friend was better than not being in her life at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews, all I'm going to say is stick with it :) and Apolgies for the delay.**

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Angel made his way down to homeroom with his two friends in tow, he wanted to tell them that he had asked Buffy on a date but couldn't find the words. It wasn't that he was ashamed, she was beautiful and well liked… but he didn't want them getting the wrong idea.

He knew he had a slight reputation, he had been out with a good handful of girls over the past couple of years but they weren't serious. Any of the past few previous dates went out with full expectation that they would end up back in bed but it didn't happen.

None of the girls spread the word that they didn't get any, they tried to play coy and from there the lies spread like wildfire. Not that he minded right enough, it made him look more badass, a charmer, so it worked for him to get dates easily.

Considering Buffy was new to the school, he didn't want her hearing that he was taking her out just for one thing; she seemed like the type of girl that wouldn't appreciate that and most likely decline any offers of future dates.

From the furthest end of the hall, there she stood; she chuckled at what the brunette beside her said then shook her head. When she spotted him looking at her she wiggled her fingers in a shy wave and nodded towards him, unseen by the crowd.

Angel smiled back at her before entering the class; Oz caught the interaction and looked at his friend once they sat down in their seats. He flicked his eyes towards Oz then back to the front of the room with a shrug, he'd tell them after the date.

She wanted to speak to him, but nerves got the better of her. It was okay if it was just the two of them but if there was an audience no doubt she would act like an idiot and make a fool of herself; so all she could do was wave.

Cordelia nudged her with her elbow and raised her eyebrow, she stuttered a response which thankfully her friend accepted; she had no idea what Cordy had asked and no idea about what she'd agreed too.

With one last lingering look to the room that he had entered Buffy sighed lightly then smiled at Cordy as they made their way down to the class that they should have been in five minutes ago.

The rest of that day dragged in, each class she felt lasted for hours on end, same with lunch and once the final bell rang that day she grinned with excitement and ran home. The thing was, she asked him to call but didn't give a time, she hoped that he would take pity on her and call as soon as possible.

Oooooooooooooo

Angel picked up the phone and looked at the beautiful handwriting on the paper, he tapped the phone off of his head and chuckled; beautiful writing? God, he felt like an idiot, everything about her made him wound up.

He didn't even know her properly and he was smitten, never before had he felt like this, a year or two ago he would have laughed at the way he was acting. He knew he could get any girl he wanted and easily but he wanted to impress her.

Slowly he pressed the numbers and waited with bated breath as the phone began to ring, when he heard the voice on the other end he knew immediately it was her "Buffy… It's Angel" he bit his lip as he waited for her reply.

He heard her clear her throat then whisper his name "I'm calling you" he closed his eyes at how stupid he sounded, of course she would know that, burning with embarrassment he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

Buffy giggled on the other side "Yeah it's amazing what these new-fangled things can do huh?" although he was mortified he couldn't help but chuckle, at least she didn't make him feel any worse for the momentary brain malfunction.

"Yeah…" he paused for a moment "Uh, what time do you want to meet..." his stomach clenched, he heard her hmm then reply "I can do any time" Angel smiled widely, he didn't want to seem too eager and ask her out first thing in the morning.

"Say about noon… we can meet at the shop or I can pick you up if you want?" he felt a bit dejected when she said she would meet him there instead of being picked up but when she said that she'd be downtown at her moms gallery he was placated.

"That's great, I'll see you then" she said goodbye to him and hung up the phone, a grin spread across his face as put the phone down on his bed. He done a mini fist-pump then thanked the lord that no one was watching him, he didn't know why she made him act like an idiot but he liked it.

Oooooooooooooo

Katherine watched as Angel messed his hair up into messy spikes then take a deep breath and shake his hands nervously, she took a sip of her coffee then smiled; she had never seem him as nervous as this before "And where are we off to?"

Angel looked at her in surprise, he didn't realise that she was keeping a close eye on him; kicking himself for not doing his hair in the bathroom away from prying eyes "Just heading to meet the guys…" he looked away from her quickly.

She let out a chuckle "My boy, I know you're meeting a girl… you wouldn't be wearing that cologne if it was just your friends" her boy frowned then cleared his throat, she loved watching him squirm; having never acted like this before; the girl must be special.

"Yeah… I'm meeting a girl at a bookshop, that's it!" he looked around the room nervously, the look his mother was giving him meant she knew that it was more than just a jaunt down to the bookshop "She's nice mom"

Katherine patted him on the shoulder and smiled, she didn't have any reservations that he would mistreat her; even though the last couple of girls were only spoken of once and never like this; he still respected them and treated them well.

Angel picked up his wallet and waved to his mother as he left the house, originally he had planned to drive but the weather today was at least 5 to 10 degrees higher than yesterday so he decided to walk to meet Buffy.

On the way there he was hoping that she hadn't changed her mind and that she would be outside the shop waiting for him, it would more than bruise his ego if he turned up alone. When he rounded the corner he saw her nervously picking at the sundress she was wearing.

The smile that spread across her face when she spotted him lit up her whole face, Angel smiled widely at her "Hi" without thinking he took her hand in his and kissed it gently, once he pulled it way from his mouth he realised what he had done.

Buffy was looking at him with wide eyes, a blush creeping up her neck at the gesture "Angel" he cleared his throat then gently released her hand, she bit her lip then smiled kindly at him. When he nodded for them to go inside he held open the door for her to enter first.

To begin with the conversation was light, neither knowing what to talk about. They kept it about the book they were there to buy and about other ones they liked to read, all in all it was pleasant but didn't take too much time.

He didn't want it to end this quick so he glanced at the clock on the wall and went for it "Are you hungry?! Could go for some food?" he looked at her from the corner of his eye, he was ready to plead when it looked like she would decline but instead she nodded.

They made their way over to the quaint café that was across the road, like before he held open the door for her then pulled the seat out for her, it made her heart melt at how charming and chivalrous he was being.

The waitress took their order then headed for the kitchen, Angel picked at the corner of the menu wondering where to start; usually he would focus all the attention on the girl, tell her how pretty she was and make her drool over him.

"So…" he smiled kindly at her "You've been in Sunnydale for a couple of months, how are you liking it so far?" he thanked the waitress when she brought over their sodas and took a gulp. Buffy sipped carefully then smiled back at him.

"It's so different to LA but its good, my mom, me and Dawnie have adjusted" when he raised his eyebrow at her she smiled again "Dawn is my sister, she's just turned six… and uh, my dad's not around a lot, last I heard he went to New York"

The way her bottom lip jut out and the sadness in her tone made his heart ache for her, it was clear that they didn't get along and that he didn't care about his daughters or ex-wife; it annoyed him that he could just dismiss her like that.

To bring the conversation back on track he cleared his throat "You said your mom has a gallery that must be cool?" she took a moment to compose herself then smiled warmly, she placed the napkin on her lap when the food was placed in front of her.

"Yeah, she collects and sells art… has a hidden talent at painting too but she's not had much time for that lately with the move, it makes her happy and that's what I want for her" her eyes locked with his, they were like pools of melted chocolate, she took a moment to savour it "Have you always stayed here?"

Angel nodded then took a bite of food "Yeah I have, mom and dad moved here before I was born but they used to travel, Dad done research now he teaches at UC Sunnydale" Buffy watched him intently, a light smile on her face as she listened.

Buffy couldn't help but smile as they continued their conversation, they talked more about music, movies and what cool things there was to do in Sunnydale that she hadn't yet found out about. When she tried to pay for her half Angel declined and paid for their lunch.

They left the café then dawdled down the street, each time she giggled at something he said her nose would scrunch in the cutest way that made him smile even more. Buffy looked at her watch and frowned; she would have to leave his company but didn't want to.

"I'll have to go" the smile on his face faltered for a second but she caught it, her hand touched his chest lightly as she looked up at him "I have to let the baby sitter go home now, I'm sorry"

Angel shook his head and smiled kindly at her "Don't worry… I don't mind walking with you"

Buffy smiled widely and nodded, that sounded like a good idea, it meant that she didn't have to leave his company just now. She led the way down to Revello Drive to her house then stopped as they reached the porch "I had a good time Angel"

She stood still for a moment wondering what he would do, her eyes fluttered to his lips then back to his eyes; was he expecting to kiss her? Did he even want to and would she be sad if he had no intention of it?

Angel nodded "I had a good time too, I'd like to do it again sometime?" he gave her a charming smile and kissed the top of her hand again to seal the deal, Buffy nodded eagerly, she'd like to see him again; she'd had fun today.

"I'll see you later Angel" with one last kiss to her hand he held it for a moment longer than necessary then walked down the path with one last wave. Buffy waved back, once he was out of sight she bit her lip and let out an excited squeal.

When she entered the house Dawn ran up to her excitedly calling her name, she scooped her up in her arms and smiled "did you have fun with Faith?" Dawn nodded excitedly; Faith swaggered into the hall and smiled at Buffy when she got her money.

"Out on a date with Angel were we?" she didn't like the look that Faith was giving her, it was devious, like she was both annoyed and intrigued by the situation.

Buffy shrugged then placed Dawn back on the ground, holding her little hand in hers "Yeah I was out with Angel, why?" Faith smirked then ran her eyes suspiciously over her full body then chuckled "What?"

Faith ran her tongue over her lips and purred "A date with Angel huh?" she trailed her hand lightly from her leather clad thigh up to the band then hooked her thumb to pose "Have a good time?" she smiled deviously at her again, hinting at what they could have been up to.

Her stomach knotted, knowing fully at what the brunette was hinting at, not liking that it looked like Faith knew what his dates were like and what activities they could have doing "You know Angel?" Faith was at least a year older than Angel himself.

"Yeah I know the big guy, I know him well" she raised her eyebrow at Buffy then chuckled as she shifted her pose from one foot to the other "I'll see you later kiddo" she gave Buffy one last look then jumped into her car and left.

Buffy frowned as she shut the door over, she had never particularly liked Faith, she tolerated her as she was like by Joyce but now she decided that she didn't like her at all and it had nothing to do with being 'close' to Angel… nothing like that at all.


	3. Chapter 3

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To play it cool, Buffy didn't text him that night or Sunday either; she didn't want to come across as too eager and scare him off. Not only was he a complete honey but he was nice to speak to and fun to be around.

When school came around she kept an eye out for him without trying to be noticeable; Sunnydale high wasn't particularly a big place but she hadn't even seen his two friends either; she gave up hope by lunch time then was in a downer for the rest of that day.

Cordelia kissed the air beside her cheeks then shuffled off to the convertible that she had abandoned across two spaces in the car park. Buffy watched her leave and without looking walked down the path and collided full force with another student.

She felt herself fall and shut her eyes tight, waiting to fall painfully to the concrete but instead felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist to pull her flush against a warm body. When she peeked the first thing she saw was the sharp line of his jaw then his smile.

"We have to stop meeting like this" Angel chuckled at her bumping into him for the second time; he didn't say anything else to her instead he just smiled down at her surprised face. Her small frame fit perfectly in his warm embrace; it took a lot not to press his lips to hers.

Angel tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with one hand, whilst the other remained on her waist "How was your day?" she smiled shyly at him but didn't make an attempt to move as it felt comfortable; it felt right.

"It was okay… yours?" He smirked "Better now"

Buffy's smile widened at his charm, his dark eyes were like melted pools of chocolate and his lopsided grin was close to bringing her to her knees. They stood for another minute or so still touching before reluctantly breaking apart.

Angel twitched his fingers to help him remain calm, he had been thinking since their sort-of-a date that he wanted to ask her back out again; now that he stood in front of her the words couldn't come. He smiled at her and nodded.

When she looked away then back at him shyly he blurted out his words, Buffy's eyes opened wider then she cleared her throat "I can't…" when she saw his face fall she shook her head and placed her hands on his chest again.

"No, no… I have to watch Dawn tonight; babysitter can't make it" she shrugged lightly "If you're not doing anything, you can help me… if you don't mind watching a crazy little six year old" she tried not to grin when he nodded yes.

Forgetting that she was still touching his chest she pulled her hands away then wrung them together "Well I'm picking up Dawn shortly then heading home so you can come over whenever you want"

Angel nodded slowly "I can walk you home… if you'd like" his face turned neutral to play cool then let a small smile tug at his lips. When she nodded he followed her as they began the walk down to Joyce's gallery.

They fell into a comfortable stride as they talked some more about the small things about themselves, learning more about one another. It felt like they had known each other for years rather than the short time that it actually was.

Angel stayed by the entrance as Buffy greeted her mom with a hug then held her little sister's hand, when all three Summers' turned to face him he held his breath. Buffy waved at him to join them, he took a deep breath and slowly walked over, mindful of Joyce's keen eye on him.

"Hello?" she smiled kindly at him but he could see in her eyes that she was interested in him; he extended his hand out politely but before he could speak Buffy jumped in "Mom, this is Angel… Angel this is mom"

He shook her hand gently and smiled, Joyce smirked at the look that her daughter hand on her face as she looked at him; she could see the awe and excitement lying beneath the surface and knew that she was already falling for him.

"I'll be home around nine tonight, I've left a contact number for the restaurant I'm meeting with the new client If you need to contact me" she looked down at her youngest and smiled wide "and behave for your sister and Angel okay?"

Dawn giggled as she nodded "I'll behave mommy" Joyce kissed Dawn on the cheek then helped her put her backpack on. Buffy took her by the hand again then waved to her mom as they left the gallery.

Within no time they had reached Revello Drive, Dawn threw her backpack at the door then ran to her toy box. Buffy moved it so it wouldn't cause a tripping hazard then threw her own bag down; she showed Angel where he could leave his things then took out Dawns homework.

He watched as Buffy negotiated play time and homework with her sister then led her to the dining table to help her with the work that was to be done for the next day. Instead of getting ahead on his own work like he usually would, he helped Dawn alongside Buffy.

Once the work was completed Dawn kicked her foot lightly across the ground at tilted her head as she thanked Angel for the help, he couldn't help but find her adorable "Hey! I helped too" she looked back at her sister then ran away giggling.

They followed her into the living room to where she was playing with her dolls; Buffy flopped onto the sofa without any form of grace then switched on the TV. Angel carefully sat down on the sofa across from her then relaxed.

His eyes flitted to Buffy when Dawn came over and asked him to join in with her dolls, the amused face she had showed him that she wasn't going to be any help at all. Not having any young children in his family he felt a little embarrassed as he talked for the doll that Dawn had given him.

After five torturous minutes Buffy relented and asked what they wanted for dinner, her sister got excited and asked for pizza; throwing away her doll and bouncing up and down. He thanked her with his eyes then scowled when she giggled.

She called the pizza place with their order then switched the TV over to one of Dawns favourite shows to keep her occupied until their food would be delivered. Angel followed her into the kitchen and sat at the table as she poured them both a drink.

"I hope you didn't hate playing dollies too much, she just gets a bit lonely not having someone her age in the house" she took a sip of her juice and smiled kindly, it was amusing to see him look awkward when normally he was calm and collected.

Angel sighed "It was torture" he raised his eyebrow and smiled to show her he didn't mind, sure he felt out of his comfort zone but after long he got over himself and liked that he was entertaining her sister, making sure she had a good time.

Once again Buffy drew her eyes off of him "funny" her tone was full of sarcasm. His face turned neutral as he leaned over the table "I'm a funny guy" he let out a chuckle as did Buffy, she turned her attention to the hallway as the doorbell rang.

Giving the pizza guy a tip she brought their dinner into the dining room and place it on the table, she told Angel where to grab the plates from then dished out the pizza pie. Dawn scoffed hers down before she ran back through to play with her toys.

The two teens took their time to eat before clearing away the empty boxes and plates then joining Dawn in the living room. Angel remained downstairs as Dawn got ready for bed; she came downstairs and gave him a hug before going up to her room.

Once she was in bed Buffy came back down stairs and smiled at Angel "Mom won't be home for another hour, do you want to watch a movie?" she smiled in wait, it had been a good evening so far, even with looking after her baby sister; she didn't want it to end.

Angel sat down this time on the same sofa as Buffy once she put a movie in and pressed play, playing it safe she chose a comedy for them to watch. As the movie progressed they had moved closer together until their thighs were touching.

Buffy looked at Angel from the corner of her eye, his frame was still a little rigid as he reclined beside her; hoping that she wasn't being out of line she leaned towards him so more of their bodies were touching.

Angel looked back at Buffy then smiled; taking a leap, he extended his arm out and draped it over her shoulder to pull her flush against him, letting her snuggle into his warm body. They didn't say anything as they watched the movie, just enjoying cuddling into each other.

When the front door was unlocked and opened they jumped apart in time for Joyce to come in and smile at them both "Have a nice evening?" she was surprise to see Angel still here, the client meeting had ran over the arranged time.

"Uh, Buffy it's getting a little late, I'm going to bed and…"

Buffy nodded and forced a smile "I'll show Angel out and do the same" Joyce said goodnight to the both of them and retired to her room for the evening. Buffy closed the front door over and leaned against it, hating that this evening was coming to an end.

"Thanks for coming here this evening, sometimes Dawn can get a bit too excited and hard to handle"

Angel shook his head "It was no problem, I had a good time" he stood still as she made her way over to him and lightly wrapped her arms around his neck, he slid his arms around her tiny waist and squeezed her gently.

Buffy tilted her head up so she could look into his eyes; she loved how they were deep and dark but had a faintest shimmer of golden brown, even in the sickly hue from the porch light they still entranced her. She pulled away from him and looked to the ground with sadness.

After a short mental debate he went for it, his hand cupped her cheek as he came down and pressed his lips gently to hers. Buffy went up on her tiptoes to get closer to him, letting his tongue probe gently into her mouth.

Her heart raced with excitement, never had she been kissed by a boy like this, not even a gentle peck and now here she was, feeling like she was on cloud nine, his scent, his warmth and his tongue massaging hers, it was amazing.

Angel pressed his closed lips to hers hard before pulling away and breathing heavily. He watched as her eyes fluttered open, her green eyes eager and full of excitement; he wanted nothing more to continue where they had left off but he couldn't do it out here.

"Good night, Buffy" his thumb ran over her swollen lips then he smiled lightly.

Buffy whispered goodnight back to him, feeling the butterflies flapping away in her tummy; she watched him as he walked away from her house until he was out of sight. She locked the front door then leaned against it; a squeal of excitement escaped from her lips.

"Wow" she took a deep breath then bit her lip to stop the grin that was plastered on her face, once she climbed the top of the stairs she yelled "Goodnight, Mom" then closed the door to her room.

Buffy sat down in front of the mirror on her dressing table to brush her hair and couldn't stop smiling, she felt like an idiot but a happy idiot at that. Changing into her pyjamas she slid into bed and closed her eyes, knowing that she would get a great sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

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That night she had the best sleep she had ever had, when her alarm went off to wake her for the day ahead she pouted; the dream she had was amazing. It was her and Angel spending time together, it started off innocent then came the smooches'.

She grabbed Cordelia as soon as she saw her and pulled her to sit down on the bench outside of the school "What?" the brunette saw the grin that was plastered on Buffy's face and couldn't help but smile herself.

Buffy took a deep breath then began "I kissed Angel!" she smiled widely as Cordy stuttered her response but looked just as excited as she was. She grabbed both of Cordy's arms and nodded slowly "We kissed! And it was amazing!"

The brunette grinned, she knew that Buffy had some sort of a crush on him, then again so did everyone "Where? When? How?" she knew that they had gone to the bookshop together but that was the weekend, surely she wouldn't have kept it a secret until now?

"Well, we were speaking when the final bell went and he asked me if we wanted to hang; I had to watch Dawn and he said he would help. It was a great night, pizza and a movie… he kissed me before he left and oh god, it made me tingly!"

Cordelia smiled widely, she knew that feeling, tingly and happy; she'd had it when she kissed her boyfriend Devon; when she kissed boys before him she never got that "Wow!" the girls giggled for a moment then basked in the sun.

"Are you hoping to do it again?"

Buffy nodded slowly "Yeah, he was in my dream last night and it was incredible, I wouldn't say no even if he had bad breath" she grimaced for a moment, thinking that over; well if that ever happened, that's what breath mints were for.

Cordy smirked "Little Buffy has a massive crush on big bad Angel, huh?" she raised her eyebrow and folded her arms in front of her chest. When she saw her friends brows draw together she shrugged "I'm only telling you this because you are my friend, Angel is a nice guy but I've heard he's been around"

Her stomach turned, she knew that that bitch of a babysitter liked to tell lies but hearing it from someone she could trust didn't sit well with her. Was that all he wanted her for? Did he know from that kiss that she was untouched?

Buffy sighed "Do you think I shouldn't trust him?" she picked at the hem of her skirt, hating that her crush could have ulterior motives.

Cordy shook her head "No, they're just rumours they might not be true but he is some salty goodness… any girl would offer themselves up to him, it's just the way things are" she shrugged her shoulder then pointed "Here he comes"

Angel stopped in front of the girls and smile kindly at the brunette "Cordy" he tipped his head at her then fixed his gaze on Buffy, he noticed that she looked a little sad for a moment then she plastered on an all too perfect smile.

Taking the hint Cordelia stood up and smoothed down her dress "I'll see you at lunch Buffy"

The pair watched as she swaggered away and linked hands with Devon who had just arrived, Angel faced Buffy again and smiled "Hi" he looked at the space that was now vacant and when Buffy nodded he sat down slowly.

Buffy watched him carefully then stifled a giggle when he bumped his shoulder into hers as he asked how she was "I'm good, how are you?"

Angel sat so close to her that their thighs were touching, he ran his eyes over her tanned thighs then looked into her eyes "I'm good too… uh, you looked a little sad a moment ago?" he was concerned, he hoped that it wasn't about the kiss last night.

She shrugged a little "It was nothing"

He could tell that there was more behind it but didn't press, instead he smiled warmly "Y'know I really had a good time last night… I was hoping that you would agree to going to the movies with me on Saturday?"

He looked confident but on the inside he was highly strung, hoping that his nerves would not embarrass him. Buffy blushed a little, despite what she had heard she couldn't believe that someone like Angel would be interested in plain old Buffy.

Her tongue ran over her lips then she smiled widely "I'd like that Angel" they both faced the school building when the bell rang to let the students know that they should get a move on to home room, Angel picked up her bag like a gentleman and escorted her to the class.

Oooooooooooooo

The rest of that week went past incredibly slow, it seemed like the fates were mocking her by drawing out every last second that they could. Whenever he saw her in the halls in between classes and even one lunch when she was by herself waiting on her friends he spoke to her.

At night they text each other constantly, not overly but kept a great deal of flow to their musings until bedtime crept up and made them part for that evening. It still amazed her that everything about him made her comfortable, full of butterflies but like they were kindred spirits.

Joyce watched as Buffy fluffed up her hair in the mirror then applied a sheer coating of lip gloss "Honey, you still have a curfew tonight, remember?" her daughter forced a smile in response then looked over her outfit for the third time.

To see her little girl getting ready for her first real date made a lump form in her throat, she'd been out before in a mixed group of friends but never just her and a boy, going to the movies "You look lovely Buffy"

Buffy smiled thankfully at her mother "Thanks" she shook her hands as the butterflies came back again. Her head whipped round to the door when the doorbell chimed loudly "Bye mom!" with a hurried wave she ran to the door then composed herself before opening it.

Her eyes raked over his dark denims, the black top that was covered by a leather jacket and the incredibly sexy smirk that made her knees weak "Hey, beautiful" her face flushed deeply at the compliment and she smiled goofily at him.

She shut the door over, seeing Joyce creep from the kitchen to a vantage point to hear them "Hi Angel" he extended his arm out to her and escorted her down to the SUV that was parked by the pavement.

Like a gentleman he opened the door for her and helped her up into the massive vehicle then went round to his side then drove off carefully, mindful that his date's mother was keeping an eagle eye on them from behind the twitching curtains.

"Nice car you have" his eyes flicked to hers then back onto the road "Thanks, my mom believes this is safer than the Plymouth I wanted" he did love this car, it was big and went fast but he would rather have a classic.

Buffy shifted in the leather seat to get more comfortable "Well your mom is wise, safety first" she smiled at him then bit her lip as she felt she sounded like an idiot. Angel smirked at her then came to a stop as they reached the multiplex.

Once again he escorted her inside then paid for their tickets, having asked what she wanted to see he was surprised and thankful that she wanted to see something scary; romantic comedies had their time and place and that was hardly ever.

She refused him to pay for their snacks, not wanting to feel like a _mooch_ as she put it, he firmly believed that it should be the one who does the invitation that pays; gender equality and all that, saying only men should pay was something he was on the fence on.

During the movie she cuddled into his side allowing him to slip his arm around her shoulder like he had done before, getting a comfortable as they could in the lumpy theatre seats that were overdue for renovation.

At one scary point in the movie she shrieked then forced her face against his chest, he smiled at her then kissed the top of her head, feeling like that was the natural thing to do. Her dainty fingers scrunched up his shirt as she jumped again.

Angel squeezed her waist gently with the arm that was wrapped around her, during the movie it had went from her shoulder down to her slim waist, occasionally his thumb would rub circles on the slither of bare skin in between her shirt and jeans.

When the credits started to roll and the lights came on they remained seated, she looked up at him and bit her lip "Sorry, I didn't realise how scary this movie would be!" usually she was fine with scary movies but she spent most of this one jumping all over him.

Angel smiled down "That's okay" he dipped his head to the side to kiss her cheek, taking advantage of the position Buffy turned so that she could press her lips to his. They got a few innocent kisses in before the occupant of the next seat cleared their throat so they could squeeze past the couple.

Buffy blushed then reluctantly stood up, stretching tall to get rid of the stiffness in her joints. Angel followed suit "Let's get going" his hand rested on the small of her back as they went back to the SUV that was in the parking lot.

Looking at the time that was on the dash he decided that the night was still young, he was told that her curfew had been extended to eleven this evening and he still had a good hour or so before she had to be home.

She watched curiously as they went in the opposite direction of her house and onto the back streets of Sunnydale. She had failed to find out where they were going as he would refuse to answer her, only stating that they were going somewhere.

After fifteen minutes he put the car into park and smiled "We're here" she looked out and smiled herself, he had taken her to one of the peaks that meant they had a lovely view of the full of Sunnydale.

Her mouth gaped as she took in the sights, it was wonderful "Wow, Angel it's beautiful" she looked back at him and he was staring at her and not the scenery "It is" she blushed once again, she thumped her fist off of his chest when he laughed.

Angel laughed harder then caught her second swing gently and pulled her against his warm body; she giggled playfully then became quiet when she looked into his eyes. In a heartbeat they had turned serious, she looked at his lips then back at his eyes and smiled.

Carefully she leaned up and kissed him gently, it was electric; she knew that it wasn't just that she was kissing a boy that made her feel like this, it was kissing Angel that did it. Like the other night she felt his tongue run across the seam of her lips and eagerly she opened her mouth.

Spurred on by the barely audible moans that she was letting out, his arm that was around her waist dropped letting his hand gently graze her thigh. Buffy gripped the back of his neck as she arched into him, feeling all tingly from his wandering hand.

Having a sudden surge of confidence she placed her knees either side of his hips the best she could in the front cab of the car and kissed him deeper. Angel cursed the jeans she was wearing, his hands were still palming her ass but if she had a skirt he'd be able to grip her bare skin.

Buffy arched her back causing her to rub against his crotch; she pulled out of the kiss to look at him. His eyes were now darker than before, she blushed as she realised what she had just felt, she knew from gossip with her friends that this could happen but she didn't think it would happen just with kisses.

Angel held her gaze as he pulled her down onto the bulge in his jeans then bit his lip, he could see her wide eyes click onto what was going on and saw excitement and fear. He would never ask her to do anything she didn't want to do but her body grinding on his was making his blood boil.

Her hand was on his chest above his heart, she could feel it thundering away beneath the skin "Angel" the breathy way she would utter his name was such a turn on, he had to remove himself from this situation before it became critical.

He looked past her to the clock on the dashboard, for once thanking that there was a curfew in place, he cleared his throat none too well, his voice came out raspy "Have to get you home" her bottom lip jut out, he took it between his teeth for a moment then pulled back.

She knew that her mother would throw a fit is she came through the door even just a minute late, especially if she knew that they had been kissing like they had – he was hard for god sakes. It thrilled her that she had that power over him.

Carefully she got off his lap and sat back in the passenger seat and clipped the safety belt in place, she watched as Angel took a few deep breaths then re-clipped his own belt. She didn't know what to say to him on the drive home, she wanted to talk about it but couldn't find words.

They pulled up outside of her house and once again he switched the engine off, before she lost her nerve she spoke "I had a good time Angel… a good time" her cheeks flushed once again, his hand scooped up hers to kiss it gently.

"I had a good time too Buffy… I really like you" throwing away all logic he wanted to let her know that he wanted to see her more, texting nonstop just wasn't enough.

Buffy grinned "I like you too…" she looked at him, they didn't have to elaborate what that meant, through unspoken words they knew that each other wanted more out of each other, it wasn't rational and was completely fast but that didn't matter.

She leaned over to kiss him goodnight, like earlier it grew heated within moments, the hand that he held in his he brought down to his lap to remind her that he was still worked up from earlier. Buffy let her hand cup him for a second, feeling a thrill that she done this; then pulled away "Sorry"

Angel shook his head "Don't be…" he kissed her gently for the last time that evening then watched as she practically skipped up the path and into her house. He let out a deep breath and chuckled, he couldn't believe how much she affected him.


	5. Chapter 5

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They spent the next six weeks being inseparable, in school they were together at each break and as the final bell rang they would spend some time before having to go home. Each night they either texted, spoke on the phone or got a chance to see each other.

Whenever they went out on a date they'd go to the arcade, go to the movies and even went out for a fancy dinner at a pricey restaurant. When it came time to leave each other she would pout, hating that they would be separate from each other for hours on end.

She didn't take any notice to the rumours that Cordelia had mentioned because if they were true he would try to take it further than kissing wouldn't he? A few times their make out sessions became hot and heavy, she felt herself pulsing with desire or felt the obvious hardness between his legs.

Yet he would never act or hint that he wanted to do anything further, it was usually then he would pull away and say goodnight. She wasn't sure if she was grateful or not, if it was far too early to take things to the next level but the things he made her feel was amazing.

Her hands were shaking as she gathered the courage to ask her mom a favour, Angel had mentioned that his mom and dad were out for the night at a party and asked if she would keep him company for the evening

Not that she needed her moms' permission to spend time at a friend's house but she thought it would be the right thing to do because he was more than a friend "Mom, can I ask something?" she watched as Joyce scooped out some fruit into a bowl for Dawn.

"I was wondering if I could spend the night at a friend's house?"

Joyce faced her daughter with a suspicious look, she was never this courteous "and who is the friend?" when Angels name was mentioned she frowned "and will Angels parents be home?" and she shake of her head she clenched her fists.

First she wanted to commend her daughter on not sneaking behind her back but on the other hand, she was not spending the night alone with a boy "Buffy!"

At the strained sound of her mother's voice she clasped her hands together "Please mom, he'll be all by himself, you let me when Cordelia was spending the night alone!

Joyce scoffed "That was different, Cordelia is a girl… Angel is a boy and I don't want you two spending the night together, its irresponsible!"

Buffy frowned, she was hoping that I would get the all clear leaving her time to pack "How is it irresponsible?" when she saw the eyebrow raise she wanted to stamp her foot but managed to resist "Mom, we'll have some dinner, watch a movie and I'll be staying in a spare room, nothing will happen!"

Joyce pinched the bridge of her nose, she was sixteen, she shouldn't be having arguments like this for many, many years to come "Buffy, I know what teenagers get up to, this may be hard for you to believe but I was one too you know"

She folded her arms across her chest "Can I say 'eww'? Mom, I promise nothing will happen… nothing has happened between me and Angel, all we've done is kiss… I'm not ready for anything more and he has never pushed!"

Skipping past the first comment Joyce sighed, she believed Buffy's words and was thankful that Angel appeared to be the respectable young man that he showed himself to be but still, this was her baby and she didn't want this conversation yet.

"No" when her daughters face fell she raised her hands as an act of peace "I will not allow you to stay the night but I am more than willing to extend your curfew till midnight, which considering the circumstances, is a helluva nice thing for me to do"

Buffy frowned once again not happy that this wasn't going her way "Okay, thanks mom" well at least her curfew was extended a little, that was better than getting a no and being told to stay away from him.

Joyce handed Buffy the phone "If you don't mind, I'd like to speak to Angel's mom if that's okay… I should at least get to know your boyfriends mother" she smiled lightly at the horrified look on Buffy's face and waited till the phone was handed back.

Oooooooooooooo

Angel sat on his bed flipping idly through a book, when Buffy had called he was shocked that her mom wanted to speak to his, since then it had been ten minutes and Kathy hadn't came to see him yet.

He looked over to the doorway to see his mom smiling kindly at him "Joyce is a lovely woman, thinks well of you… when will I get to meet Buffy?" he raised his eyebrow at his mom; she knew already that they'd meet on Friday.

Kathy came over and sat on the edge of her sons bed "Although she is lovely she is a little high strung, personally I don't see a problem with Buffy spending the night because I know you a respectable young man, aren't you?"

When he nodded once she smirked "But seeing as you two will be alone, even just for one evening… I want you to be considerate to Buffy and if things do happen to go further I want you to use protection!" she handed him a box of condoms.

Angel turned beetroot and looked at the box as if it was a disease and stuttered "MOM!" he got off of the bed and paced in his room.

Kathy raised her eyebrow at him "Angel, I'm not entirely happy with the situation either, you two are both underage and shouldn't rush things but If it _does_ happen, then be responsible will you?"

His skin was still red from embarrassment but he was thankful for her being as lenient as she was, when he floated the idea to his parents he expected to be shot down but then again all his friends said that his parents were cool.

"Mom, I'd never push Buffy into anything she doesn't want to do… I don't think we're ready to go that far either" Kathy stood up and placed her hand on his shoulder, feeling proud that he was being grown up about the situation.

"That's what I like to hear, now get washed up for dinner, it'll be 20 minutes"

Oooooooooooooo

Buffy sat alone with Cordy out in the quad, they had been talking about boys, mostly; she wanted to ask her something but kept stuttering. Cordy raised her eyebrow at her friend "What? You've been dying to ask me something since this morning"

She let out a chuckle and rubbed her arm gently "Cordy, how do you know… when you're ready to take things further?"

Cordelia gaped like a fish out of water then clapped her hands together "Ohhh! You and Angel ready to get down and dirty?" Buffy slapped her hand over her mouth to keep her quiet as she looked around to make sure no one heard.

"No! Not sex… but just something more" she blushed as she thought about what those things would be. Seeing that no one was paying them attention she let go of Cordy's mouth and relaxed again, still facing her friend.

Cordy smiled kindly "It's different for everyone… does he make you feel all tingly when he kisses you?" when she nodded she continued "If he makes you feel like the most special girl out there, like there's only you and that's it… only you will know"

Buffy smiled gratefully at her friend, feeling glad that they had talked about this. When the bell rang she stood up "Thanks Cordy" she waved as she walked off to her next class.

Oooooooooooooo

Thankfully the rest of the day went in without a hitch, each class sped by, all the teachers for once never gave out any homework and then the final bell screeched prompting everyone to high tail it out of there.

Angel was waiting for her by the stairs at the main entrance; he was standing with Xander and Oz "Hey guys" she smiled kindly at his friends, they hadn't had a lot of chances to speak as the two of them were alone a lot but she liked them.

"Hey Buff-ster, spending the evening at Angels huh, would you like some company?" he looked at her then back at Angel and shrunk at the glare sent his way. He chuckled then cleared his throat, he decided he liked her, she was cool but clearly they didn't want interrupted.

Buffy frowned playfully "Sorry Xand, but wont your mom be upset you cancelled plans with her?" she punched his arm lightly then chuckled; Xander pretended that she had wounded him but laughed anyways.

Taking advantage of the moment of silence Angel leaned down to press his lips to hers "Ready?" Buffy nodded then linked her fingers through his as they walked towards the parking lot at the side of the school.

Buffy bit her lip as they came closer to his house; she had been here once or twice since they started going out, but never for long and not whilst his mom and dad were available to speak too. She had yet to meet them and was nervous.

"You'll be fine, they'll like you" she smiled at his attempt to calm her frayed nerves, he took her hand in his and kissed the top of it. Once they arrived he linked his fingers through hers and led her inside, his dad was busy last minute packing but stopped long enough to shake her hand.

Kathy walked out from the dining room and smiled warmly at the pretty girl that was hiding behind her son "Hello Buffy, I'm Angel's mom, you can call me Kathy" she shook her hand "It's nice to finally meet you" she shot a pointed look at her son.

Buffy smiled kindly at her "It's nice to finally meet you too Kathy, Angel has told me so much about you… you have a lovely home" she looked around the grand kitchen, loving how modern it looked.

Kathy patted her on the shoulder "Well I've left some money on the counter in case you don't want anything that's in the fridge, have fun and make sure Buffy gets home safe later tonight okay?" she leaned down to kiss Angel on the cheek making him blush.

They said their goodbyes then waved them off as his parents headed away for the evening. Angel faced Buffy and smiled "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour" once again their fingers twined as he showed her around the house.

They did a tour of the ground floor then the upper floor, leaving his bedroom for last. It wasn't what she expected, on the far wall was a floor to ceiling bookshelf filled to the brim, the colours of the room were dark and the bed was grand, covered in silk sheets.

She tipped her head at the silky bed covers and smirked, Angel shrugged "What? They look cool" Buffy nodded in fake agreement and chuckled, she looked around the rest of the room, mentally noting everything.

They raided the fridge to see what was to eat but couldn't decide on anything there, eventually they phoned takeout to be delivered to the house; which was ate quickly. They had overestimated their hunger, leaving almost a full meal that was placed in the microwave.

As the night wore on they remained in the living room, watching a movie on the big screen TV that hung upon the wall. They talked and joked, having a good time; Buffy excused herself as she went upstairs to use the bathroom.

When she came out she saw the light on in Angel's room, she stepped inside and closed the door over; he was tidying away the school work that was dumped as soon as they had got home "Hi" she smiled lightly at him.

Angel turned to face her and smiled too "Hi" she went over to the sound system and pressed play, soft music came from the speakers that lined the wall "Thank you for coming over, this night would have been so dull otherwise"

Buffy scrunched up her nose then made herself comfortable on his bed, Angel stalked over and lay beside her so that they were facing each other. She scoffed playfully "You should be grateful I could be at the bronze right now"

Angel smirked at her "Is that right, huh?" his hands went to her sides and tickled her thoroughly. Buffy giggled uncontrollably trying to swat him away "Angel, stop!" she tried to roll away but he came straight after her.

She tried to get the upper hand on him by trying to push him away, he didn't budge. Angel closed his eyes when she ground against him, suddenly all the playfulness escaped them.

Buffy watched as he reopened his eyes, they had become darker, the same kind of dark when their make-out sessions got a little bit heavy. His fingers traced her face then he ran his thumb over her bottom lip just before he came down to kiss her.

It started off innocent enough, just a few closed mouth kisses then he grunted in delight when she opened her mouth and accepted his tongue inside. When he ground against her again it fired her blood, Buffy moaned loudly against his mouth then pulled back to look at him.

She was a mix of feelings, this was exciting, her pulse was racing but she was little scared of where this might lead to. Angel's hand came down to her hip then slid beneath to cup her ass; all she could do was smile when he lifted her to rub against his groin.

Encouraged by the lazy half smile on her face he came down to kiss her fiercely, Buffy matched the rhythm of her hips with the rhythm of their tongues. It wasn't long before her leg came up and hooked onto his waist, he looked down at her in question, hoping that this wouldn't end.


	6. Chapter 6

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They looked into each other's eyes, seeing what each other wanted. Her long lashes fluttered as she smiled up at him, without saying anything Angel kneaded the skin on her hip; carefully he worked his way underneath her top till he reached her bra clad breast.

She ran her fingers through his hair as his tongue swirled her mouth then began to massage her own tongue.

Buffy moaned when he squeezed her gently, pleased with her response he applied more pressure. He broke the kiss so he could kiss her cheek then down to her neck, his tongue darted out to touch the skin before he kissed the spot again.

This was better than all the previous times that they had kissed, they hadn't fooled around much except for a little bit of heavy petting but it stopped way before anything like this could happen. When she felt his hard on press down on her she mumbled.

Angel pressed a kiss to her pulse point before looking down at her, he couldn't get over her beauty, her skin was flushed and her lips were swollen from their kisses, sometimes he couldn't believe that she was his "Yeah?"

Buffy bit her lip, she was enjoying what they were doing but they still hadn't discussed taking things further, seeing this in her eyes he kissed the tip of her nose "We don't have to do anything you are not comfortable with"

She ran her fingers through his hair again "I know, it's just that… I've never done _anything_ like this before" she looked away feeling embarrassed by the admission. Angel ran his thumb over her lip gently "If you want we can take it slow and go as far as you want to… it's all for you"

Without saying anything her fingers gripped the hem of his t-shirt to pull it over his head and discarded it on the floor. A smile tugged at his lips as he returned the favour, leaving her lying beneath him in her bra.

He pressed a kiss to her collarbone and slid the bra strap off her shoulder then repeated with the other side. She arched her back so he could reach the clasp and peel the material away before capturing her nipple in his mouth.

Angel gave the other one the same treatment then sat back when he heard her breath hitch in her throat; he watched the rise and fall of her breasts with a smirk.

Buffy ran her hands over the warm flesh of his chest then circled his neck to pull him down so that she could kiss him again. Feeling his skin against hers for the first time felt magical, she let out a breathy moan when he sucked on her neck "Angel"

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he trailed kisses down her chest and on to her ribs, she squirmed underneath him then raised her hips as his fingers reached the waist on her jeans. Angel sat back in his haunches as he pulled the denim away from her legs.

When she tried to pull her thighs together he shook his head as he locked eyes with her, he could see the nerves from within, her eyes wide and full of question. His fingertips caressed her thighs as he pushed them wide "Just relax"

Buffy took a deep breath to steady her nerves; she fully trusted him but was a little embarrassed by having this little clothing on in front of him. Her breath hitched in her throat again as he peeled away her panties and threw them behind him onto the floor.

Her mouth gaped as his tongue ran along her core, instinctively she arched her back, his eyes were locked on hers causing a shiver to run up her spine. He quickened his action as his fingers teased her lightly before he eased one inside.

"Oh god!" she shut her eyes tight and gripped the pillow beside her and brought it to her mouth, she could feel something building up inside of her, she'd felt like this before but never on this magnitude, she bit into the pillow to muffle her moan.

Angel added another finger carefully, mindful that this was all new to her "Buffy?" he could feel her nearing and wanted to see her face. She peeked from behind the pillow then placed it back on the bed beside them so she could see him properly.

Her heart pounded furiously in her chest, the way he was looking at her and the things he was doing, it was indescribable. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she came, once she settled he leaned back; seeing her face in ecstasy was beautiful.

Buffy panted then chuckled lightly "wow" she opened one eye when she felt the bed shift under Angel's weight; he lay on his side with his head propped up in his arm. She smiled shyly at first then broke out in a wide grin.

Angel ran his fingers through her hair as he smiled back at her, Buffy scooted closer to him to kiss him, when she tasted herself she pulled back warily, she didn't say anything; it was strange but it looked like he didn't bother with it.

He went to say something but before he could Buffy nuzzled her nose against his then kissed him forcefully this time. She pushed him onto his back and sat across his hips, her fingers working on the zipper of his jeans to which he took her hands in his "Buff"

She looked up at him sadly "Did I do something wrong?"

Angel sat up and wrapped one arm around her waist, the other hand grazing up and down her spine, making her quiver "No, but we don't have to rush anything" her heart melted at how he was thoughtful of her but she didn't want this to be one sided.

"And we won't" she placed both her hands on his shoulders to push him flat against the bed, her fingers worked quickly and she popped the button on his jeans "No rushing is fine by me"

He bit his lip as he felt her trembling hand run over his boxers; his skin tingled when her fingertips traced the waistband. Carefully she kneeled up far enough so that they could both take off the remaining items he was wearing.

Buffy looked down at him with interest, sure she had seen books in Biology, even the crude drawings from History but never anything in real life and as close as his was. She reached out and tugged on him; he gasped and engulfed her hand with his.

Her eyes flicked to his before looking back down to what they were doing, once she got the hang of it he leaned back on both his elbows and watched. His eyes were burning with desire; it thrilled her than she could do that, especially feeling completely inexperienced.

Angel sat back up as he ran his hands over her hips; he kissed her throat then worked his way up to her mouth to kiss her languidly. He could tell that her hand was beginning to tire so he didn't mind when she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Slowly he brought both of them back down to the bed, he felt Buffy stiffen when she was sprawled on top of him, both of them now completely naked. He bit her earlobe and murmured "Trust me"

This time when he kissed her his hands moulded her hips and guided her movement against him, Buffy moaned when she felt him rub against her intimately, just like earlier he was working her body like he'd known it all his life.

Knowing he wouldn't last much longer he guided her hand back down to his erection; she circled her hand around him eagerly. She sat back on his thighs to get better access as she stroked him firmly, his hand cupped her breast immediately and he ran his thumb over her nipple, his other hand went back down to stroke her until she came.

"Buff… I'm…" he bucked his hips sharply as he came, she watched in fascination as his come spurted over his stomach. He grunted and pulled her hand off of him then sighed contentedly, Buffy climbed off of him then lay beside him.

Angel leaned over to the bedside table and grabbed a few hankies to clean his stomach; he threw them in the trash then flopped back down on the bed and pulled her against his side. Buffy threw her arm over his chest and snuggled against him.

They lay in contented silence as the soft music continued to play; there had been one boy before that had kissed her cheek at a party; he'd hinted that he wanted to take things further, for a while after that party she had thought that she'd made a mistake but now lying in Angels arms she knew she'd made the right choice.

Angel looked to the clock on the wall and sighed "It's almost midnight…" he tightened his grip on her for a moment, he didn't want her to leave, he would love nothing more than for her to stay in his arms all night but Joyce would blow a gasket.

Buffy placed a kiss on his chest then looked up at him, her face looking just as sad as his "I know" she leaned up and kissed him softly. Angel rolled them over so she was now beneath him as he kissed her deeply; he pulled away when he felt himself react.

He got off of the bed in search of their clothes, when he turned back Buffy had her arms around her knees, hugging them to her chest to cover her body "You don't ever have to be shy, you're beautiful" he kneeled on the bed and tugged on her arm so she was kneeling too.

She blushed deeply and shrugged her shoulders but allowed him to draw her body against his; she wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled timidly. He nuzzled his nose against hers then kissed her one last time before handing her the discarded clothes from earlier.

They both dressed quickly then drove back to Buffy's, the hall light was still on that meant that Joyce was more than likely waiting up for her to return "I'll see you in the morning, if you want we can go to the beach?"

Buffy nodded excitedly, she loved the beach "That would be great" their last kiss lingered before she pulled away "Goodnight Angel"

Angel ran his thumb over her bottom lip "Goodnight Buffy" she got out of the SUV then waited by the front door as she watched him drive off. She locked the door and came face to face with her mother; Joyce looked over her daughter then smiled.

The look on her face was one she recognised "You like him a lot, don't you?"

Buffy bit her bottom lip, of course she liked him; she would have never let him touch her intimately if she didn't but she couldn't say that to her mom "Yeah, I like him a lot"

Joyce nodded then wrung her hands together "I know it's a bit late but I want to say this and get it over with… Angel is a nice young man but I want you to be careful, don't let him push you into anything you're not ready for you're still young"

Her jaw sharpened at the words, Joyce cut in before she could say anything "I'm being serious Buffy, what you think you're feeling can be confused with something less than it is… you've been spending a lot of time together… why don't you spend some time with your friends instead?"

Buffy folded her arms over her chest, not liking what Joyce was suggesting "Mom, I know what I feel and it's not something I've ever felt before… all my friends have boyfriends that they spend more time with than me, it's not like I'm closing myself off and neither is he!"

Joyce raised her hands in surrender "I'm not trying to upset you Buffy but you have to remember I know what teenagers are like, when I met your father we were still young…"

"Newsflash, I'm not you! You may have loved Hank but I'm not as stupid enough to end up pregnant by Seventeen!" she knew as soon as she said it she had crossed a line, hurt then seething rage flashed in her mother's eyes as she slapped her.

Buffy held her stinging cheek in shock; she had never had a hand raised to her, ever. It took a moment to register what she had done before Joyce let the tears fall and apologise "Buffy, I didn't mean that…"

Carefully she enclosed her arms around her daughter and stifled a cry "I'm sorry" she pressed a kiss to her head then let her yank herself out of the embrace then walk up to her room in silence, she didn't expect Buffy to accept her apology straight away, so Joyce let her go without saying anything.

* * *

The ding of the seatbelt sign startled him out of his thoughts "Please make final preparations as we are now making a landing at Sunnydale Airport, Thank you"

He shook his head and re-placed the tray into its upright position, he didn't realise that the flight was almost over, not that he minded otherwise the journey would have felt longer than it actually was. He shuffled in his seat to get comfortable as the plane hut the tarmac.

Looking around the tiny airport he had that sensation that he was finally home, nothing looked like it had changed, the interior had a few coatings of paint to look fresh but it was all the same. Carting his suitcase behind him he pushed through the doors into the arid heat of outside.

The sign said _Welcome to Sunnydale_ , well as they said as kids; it was Sunny- _Hell_ as the sun was relentless. He wafted himself with the book he had in his hand then hailed a cab, settling in they made the journey into the town, back to where he lived as a kid.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the Reviews!**

* * *

He unlocked the door to the house he had bought online, he didn't have a chance to come view it before he had purchased however being a former resident of the town he knew that the house would be nice, regardless of the age of the property.

Angel rolled in the suitcase to the living room and looked around; the previous owner had handed him the keys moments ago and wished him well before leaving themselves to their new life out of state.

All the furniture came with the sale of the house which despite not being his taste he was thankful for at that moment, he fell onto the sofa and close his eyes for a moment. It had been a long day of preparing and travelling; now he wanted to chill.

He dialled her number and smiled as she answered immediately "Hey mom, that's me just got in" He kicked off his boots and got comfy "Flight wasn't too bad, just going to grab some food and call it a night, love you mom"

Looking at his watch he figured he could grab a quick nap, get some takeaway then come back to unpack the clothes he had brought with him. He threw his arm over his eyes and sunk into the cushions.

* * *

When he picked her up the next morning she wasn't as animated as she usually was, she smiled on queue and answered with perfect answers; it irked him that something was up. The journey to the beach was made in silence; she only looked out of the window at the passing scenery.

Before she made it two steps away from the car he pulled her into his embrace and tipped her chin up so that he could look into her eyes "What's wrong?" she looked away for a moment then back at him, she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him.

He rubbed soothing circles on her back "Me and my mom got into a bit of an fight last night" she placed her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist "I don't really want to talk about it" not that she didn't want him to know, she didn't want to waste anymore energy thinking about it.

"We can always go somewhere else if you're not up for the beach?"

Buffy shook her head and palmed his cheek "No, I love the beach… thank you" she stood up on her tip toes to kiss him. She leaned back and gave him a genuine smile this time, Angel linked his fingers through hers and led her down to the beach.

They spent the day relaxing in the hot sun; he surprised her by bringing a picnic with all her favourite foods and even some cake too. Thinking over what she said to her mom last night, it was true, she did like him, more than liked him; she could even say she loved him.

He caught her staring at him and grinned widely, Buffy bit her lip and turned red "What?" she shook her head and chuckled, refusing to answer she got up at walked to the water. Not wanting to let this go Angel followed her.

She swam out in the water, closely followed by Angel; he caught up to her and pulled her into his arms "You were staring" he kissed one cheek then the other. Buffy smiled shyly under his gaze, he ran his thumb over her lip then kissed her.

Each time he kissed her like this butterflies fluttered away in her tummy, she tightened her arms around his neck then giggled when he began to tickle her sides "Angel" she swatted at his shoulder to get him to stop, but he didn't give up.

They made their way to the back to the towels they had laid on the sand, each time his finger grazed her skin she would giggle; her entire body was aflame from his innocent touches but thinking of last night made her react more than usual.

She wrapped the towel around her shoulders to keep away the light breeze that was making her shiver; Angel leaned over to kiss her again that instantly made her full body heat up. She moaned against his mouth and tugged at his hair to bring him closer.

Knowing that this could go much further than appropriate out in the open he pulled back and smiled at her "We better get going" her lip jut out enough for him to bite it gently as he kissed her quickly then stood up.

Both of them dried off and pulled their clothes on, this time on the drive back it wasn't silent; anything that she was worried about this morning wasn't there now. Being a gentleman he escorted her to her door, Joyce had requested that she be there for dinner that evening in an attempt to give them at least one days break.

He took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles "Call me if you need me" she smiled gratefully at him and waved as he drove away. When she entered she saw Faith smirking at her from her position beside the window, clearly she had spied on them.

"Such a gentleman, isn't he just lovely?!" when Buffy refused to answer her she swaggered over until she was behind her, her body pressed against her and her hand gliding up Buffy's side "He is just so attentive huh? Knows what to say… what to do"

She skimmed across Buffy's hips causing her to pull away and glare at her; she loved being a twisted bitch "Although I would say your good girl act is fooling no one, except I don't think it's an act, there's only so much of a doe eyed school girl that guys like before finding a real woman"

When Dawn called from the other room Buffy cleared her throat but still sounded upset "I'll be there in a minute Dawnie" Faith smirked, knowing that she'd pushed the right buttons, she didn't want Angel but she didn't like Buffy either, why not have some fun?

Standing tall, showing that she wasn't afraid Buffy held her gaze "Angel and I are happy, don't be such a jealous bitch" she folded her arms over her chest and held her chin high. Faith only chuckled in delight, almost slapping her thigh.

"Oh B, Happy is one thing but being properly satisfied, that's another and by looking at you, oh" she shook her head as she dragged her dark gaze over Buffy's figure "well, maybe if you fill out it won't seem like he's with a girl, men like woman"

She trailed her hand over her full curves and stretched up so that her chest would push forward, straining against the extremely low cut vest that she had on. She ran her tongue along her teeth as she triumphed in the hurt look from the blonde.

The door opened before Buffy could do anything to save face, Joyce walked in and smiled at the girls "Faith, thank you so much, here's your money and I'll call you next time we need you, you're doing a fantastic job" she handed her the bills and smiled.

Faith switched from bad ass to good girl and smiled kindly "Oh no problem at all Joyce, Dawn is fantastic…" when Joyce went into the kitchen she grinned nastily once again "Be seeing you, B" she shut the door over leaving Buffy almost in tears.

Dawn called on her again, she wiped at her eyes harshly and took a deep breath; she plastered a smile on her face as she went into the kitchen to see her sister and mother "Buffy!" Dawn ran over and hugged her sister tight.

Buffy chuckled lightly "Hey Dawnie" the little girl planted a kiss on her cheek, then clapped her hands as Joyce announced that they would make a start on homemade pizza. Joyce looked at her daughter and frowned "Is everything okay honey?"

Taking a moment she shrugged "peachy" she could tell that Joyce didn't fully believe her, her keen eye watching her taut body language and saddened face.

"Are you having problems with Angel?" she tried to sound concerned but you could tell that it was forced, almost jovial.

Buffy glared at her harshly "God! No, we are not having problems, we're happy, it's everyone else that's finding problems out of nothing" she stamped her foot and felt the tears work their way back up to the surface.

Before she could say anything Buffy shook her head "Why do you hate him? Are you trying to ruin my life?"

Joyce clenched her fists "Buffy I do not hate Angel, I'm just trying to get you to see that there is more to life than the mall and boys… you'll thank me when your older and realise you've not wasted your teen years being tied down!"

Her mouth fell open "So I'm wasting my life huh? So what should I be out going on dates with all the boys from school, being called a slut? No! I thought you wanted me to be happy but you don't!"

"Listen young lady! You are taking my words out of context, but you'll miss out on certain experiences by spending so much time with him and of course I want you to be happy but I want you to think about your future too!"

Buffy walked out of the kitchen with Joyce in tow, she grabbed the bag she had with her that morning and slung it on her shoulder "And where do you think you're going?"

Joyce grabbed Buffy's arm to stop here, she shrugged out of her grasp but refused to look at her "I'm not staying here" she wiped away a tear and sniffled. Joyce tried to grab her arm again "You are NOT leaving this house!"

Buffy stamped her foot "Are you going to hit me again? Say bad things about Angel?" Joyce stood silent, still upset that she had struck her daughter, she didn't mean to and hadn't done anything like that before.

"I'm going to Angels" she slammed the door leaving Joyce in silence.

Oooooooooooooo

Angel rolled off of the sofa when he heard the doorbell chime; rubbing at his sleepy eyes he opened the door slowly, seeing Buffy's red rimmed eyes and sniffles, he took her into his arms and held her tight "What's wrong?"

She wrapped her arms around him tightly and cried softly, he led them upstairs and into his room for some privacy. He let go of her so he could lock the door, when he turned back to her he was pressed against the door as Buffy kissed him hungrily.

Her fingers hooked over his waistband and pulled him towards the bed; she spun them around and pushed him so he fell on his back. Gone were the tears and upset, now she looked like a woman on a mission.

Buffy pulled her dress off and threw it on the floor; she straddled his hips and leaned down to kiss him once again. Angel palmed her ass as the kiss deepened, when he felt her reach for the waistband on his shorts he sat up, bringing her with him.

"Buffy?" although last night was something he would love to repeat, knowing how Buffy felt, he knew that she was pushing herself into this, she had confided in him earlier that day that she enjoyed it but still wanted to take things slow.

Her emerald eyes immediately filled up with tears, she tried to get off him but his strong arms kept her in place "What's wrong? Please tell me" she closed her eyes and laid her head in the crook of his neck, letting a few tears fall.

He petted her hair soothingly and kissed her cheek, Buffy wiped at her eyes then looked at him, seeing the concern in his eyes melted her heart "I'm sorry" he shook his head showing that she needn't apologise.

Angel sat her on the bed beside him the tugged the covers so that they were both underneath them, they lay facing each other, one of his arms draped over her waist. Buffy took a deep breath then closed her eyes "I wanted to please you"

He frowned "Why would you think that you don't?" When she didn't look he ran his knuckles over her cheek lightly "Buff"

Buffy sighed "I got upset… the babysitter made some comments about you and about how I won't be able to satisfy you" she bit her lip and looked at him sadly, she could see the question in his eyes "Faith… Faith Lehane"

Angel closed his eyes, Faith, she was something he wanted to forget, she was a pain in the ass and a complete and utter bitch "Buffy… don't listen to anything Faith has to say, you don't have to rush into anything you don't want to"

He ran his hand over her back lightly, Buffy pulled back to look at him properly "Were you and her involved?" it made her jealous that he had experienced things without her, she knew that it was plausible, he was older and a complete honey.

"We dated… but nothing like you and I have" he could see the curiosity in her eyes so he continued "She was the first girl that I'd done stuff with, we never had sex though… the night we had agreed to I went to her house to find her with someone else"

Buffy pursed her lips together "so… you've never…" she nodded to finish off the sentence, not wanting to say it. When he shook his head no her eyes widened, she would never have imagined that he was still a virgin.

From the stories she'd heard and how confident he was when leading her into her sexual awakening "I, I thought?" he kissed her nose and smiled "I know, I've heard what's been said about me, Faith done it to piss me off, the others didn't want people to find out they hadn't scored"

A smile tugged at her lips "I'm sorry I came on so strong" he silenced her with a languid kiss then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He rolled onto his back and pulled her half on top of his chest, her leg hooked onto his thigh.

"Hey, I'm not complaining but like I said don't rush into anything you don't want to… when its time you'll know" Buffy leaned up on her forearm to look down at him, a smile wide on her face "You really are so good, do you know that?" he shrugged and smiled back at her.

She settled against his chest and closed her eyes; the hand that was drawing patterns on her skin soothed her. Angel kissed the top of her head and inhaled her sweet scent; he closed his own eyes and smiled, loving the feeling of having her in his arms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Apologies for the delay!  
**

* * *

They were roused out of their sleep with knocking on the door, Angel looked down to Buffy who was still in his arms and smiled "Angel, are you awake?" his mother's voice drifted into the room.

He got out of the bed and unlocked the door to his room, when he opened it his mom raised her eyebrow at him "And why did we lock the door?" her sugary sweet tone didn't fool him, he could tell she was mad; it was a rule that if he ever had girls over the door should be open.

Angel looked behind him then pleaded silently with her not to make a scene, before he could say anything Kathy came into the room and leaned against the wall "Hi Buffy, your mom was on the phone, she sounded upset"

One look at Buffy and you could tell she had been crying, it made her feel for the girl. She looked on the floor to find a dress lying in a puddle, she quirked her eyebrow at her son "I convinced Joyce that it would be okay for you to stay here tonight, to cool down… but make no mistake, this isn't an excuse for any hanky panky"

Angel blushed "Mom!" she smirked then lost all playfulness as she spoke to them seriously "I mean it guys, if Buffy stays in this room tonight the door will be wide open, otherwise your father will have it off its hinges!"

Buffy chuckled from her position in the bed, Kathy went out of the room for a moment then came back in with a pair of pyjamas "These might be a little on the big side but it beats wearing any of Angels old tops"

"Thank you" she smiled gratefully at his mother, although she did love Joyce; Kathy was like a cool older sister that understood and wasn't boring or stuffy.

Kathy beamed at the girl "You're very welcome Buffy… now your father and I have already eaten, as you two slept through dinner you're going to have to make your own. We will be out at the movies for a short while… behave"

Angel thanked his mom as she walked out of the room then chuckled, he pulled off his jeans and took out a pair of basketball shorts from his drawer and pulled them on "What would you like to eat?"

Buffy pulled on the pyjamas and shrugged her shoulders "Anything is fine by me" her stomach rumbled loudly causing her to blush "Guess my stomach agrees" he held out his hand for her and she linked her fingers through his as they went to the kitchen.

She watched him as he whipped them up an omelette and added some vegetables and cheese; he scooped it onto their plates and sat across from her at the breakfast bar. Kathy waved them both goodbye and told them to behave.

Once finished they put their dishes into the dishwasher and headed back upstairs, Angel put a movie on to play and they settled like earlier with her head on his chest and her leg hooked over his thigh; occasionally his hand would rub her back softly.

Later, when Kathy crept into the room she watched the pair with a smile on her face, they were still in their embrace fast asleep, Angels head tilted towards hers as if placing a kiss on her head. She pulled his door over a little so the light from the hallway wouldn't disturb them.

"So how are the love birds doing?" she scowled playfully at her husband then pulled her clothes off and put on her pyjamas, she crawled into bed and hugged into his chest "Both fast asleep, I really like Buffy, she's good for him"

Colin murmured his response then kissed her goodnight before switching off the lights and both settling in to go to sleep themselves.

The day after the argument Buffy made her way home with Angel and his mom in tow, their parents hadn't properly met except from speaking on the phone, Kathy thought it would be a good idea to formally meet as things were getting serious between them.

When Kathy and Joyce were introduced they hit it off, for over an hour over a cup of freshly squeezed orange juice they talked about everything. Buffy and Angel went up to her room to give them some privacy; Dawn bounced around the room keeping them occupied.

Once the pair had left Joyce then sat down with Buffy and discussed what had happened. She explained to her daughter that naturally she was worried but said that she would pull back on being an overprotective mom.

Buffy came away from the conversation happier than she'd been, they'd come to an agreement that she wouldn't bother her over the amount of time they spent together as long as she kept up her grades and school and made at least one attempt a week to spend time with her friends.

Oooooooooooooo

Joyce came up behind Buffy and smiled at her in the mirrors reflection "Where is Angel taking you?" she rubbed her daughter's shoulders softly and beamed down at her. Tonight marked her and Angel's official six month anniversary.

Buffy tilted her head and curled the last of her hair "I don't know, he just said that we were going out for dinner" in the days leading up to tonight she had tried unsuccessfully to get him to spill the location just out of sheer curiosity.

Joyce sat down on the bed and looked down at her hands "Buffy, I know I was a little hard on you at the start and you know I was only doing it out of love… that's why I want you to promise me that you will be responsible…"

Hearing where this was leading Buffy blushed and wrung her hands together "Mom" she turned round to look at her, pleading not to take this further.

"I know, I know but please be safe… I know that you and Angel are close but make sure if anything does happen that you are ready" Joyce squared her jaw off, she remembered back to when her mother had this conversation with her and it still mortified her.

Buffy licked her bottom lip "I know… you don't have to worry" she gave her a weak smile. They hadn't crossed that line in their relationship, they had done things just not gone all the way but she was sure that they may tonight – not that she wanted to tell her mom that.

She pulled her dress on and touched up her makeup just as he knocked on the door, Joyce let him in and smiled kindly "You look so handsome, I hope you both have a good evening" she saw that he was focused on the staircase.

His jaw dropped as she descended, the black spaghetti strap dress clung to her like a second skin, her hips swayed as she came over to him "Wow… you look" he tipped his head and gave her a lopsided grin.

Joyce cleared her throat and smiled at the pair "I'm extending your curfew to 1 am and only for tonight, have a great time" Buffy thanked her mom as did Angel then they waved her goodbye and climbed into the SUV.

They headed to a restaurant that was on the border of town, it was a romantic little bistro with a real log fire that set the mood. Being a gentleman he escorted her to her seat and pulled it out for her then held her hand as the waiter told them the specials for the day.

The main meal and the dessert was fantastic, Buffy grumbled when Angel paid fully for it, he silenced her with a kiss then linked his fingers through hers as he led her back to the parking lot.

She was surprised when he drove them back to his house and pulled into the drive, he only shrugged "Mom and Dad are away to a spa for an overnight…" he led her into the house then left her alone for a couple of minutes.

He came back downstairs just to lead her to his room, her mouth gaped open when she entered, he had lit candles that were flickering creating a romantic glow. He picked up a bottle of champagne that he swiped from the cellar and poured them both a glass.

Buffy took a sip of the fizz and twitched her nose when the bubbles bounced off her face, she giggled and sat the flute on the bedside table "Thank you for this evening" she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

Angel murmured against her lips "No problem" it grew heated within a few moments; he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, staring deep into her eyes. He reached over to the drawer and pulled out a box "I uh, hope you like it"

She popped open the lid to see a ring nestled inside, she plucked it out and looked at it "Its beautiful" she placed it on her finger then smiled at it, Angel picked up her hand to kiss the ring "It means you belong to someone"

Her breath hitched in her throat, he was always finding ways to surprise her and charm her, she looked to the ground and sighed "Sorry I didn't get you anything" he tipped her head up to look into her eyes and smiled "You've already gave me more than enough"

Buffy leaned up on her tip toes to kiss him again, his hands trailed down her sides and came to rest upon her hips as he pulled her against him and gave her a shallow thrust. They both moaned at the contact and made their way back towards the bed.

Angel kicked off his dress shoes and socks as Buffy took off her heels, they lay on the bed with Angel half on top of her. His tongue battled hers as their hands wandered all over each other's body; he pulled back to kiss her nose then her cheek.

Her green eyes looked huge in the candlelight full of love and hope, he was thankful every day that he had took a chance and asked her out; he ran his thumb over her lip "Buffy, I love you" he leaned down to kiss her languidly.

Buffy ran her foot over his calf and smiled "I love you too" he smiled lazily then came down to nibble on her ear, she let out a sigh and tilted her head to accept his mouth and tongue trailing a blazing path on her skin.

Carefully he pulled the dress over her head and threw it on the floor; she lay back against his bed looking innocently wicked. Her thighs came up and gripped his hips as she helped unbutton his shirt and throw it beside her discarded dress.

Angel peeled off her bra before licking and biting his way around her breast before sucking on her nipple. Buffy lay back against the bed and moaned; her nimble fingers work on his belt and tugged his dress pants down along with his boxers.

Once they reached his calves he kicked them off, his hands trailed slowly up her thighs to her panties then pulled them down her shapely legs. Her breath hitched in her throat, the look he was giving her thrilled her, like he was a starving man looking at a delicious feast.

He pushed her thighs apart gently before lying in between her legs, his tongue pressing against her as his fingers drew patterns on her upper thigh. Buffy wound her fingers in his hair in an attempt to press him closer to her.

Angel slipped two fingers inside carefully as he came up to kiss her. She gyrated against his fingers as they went deeper than they had before, wanting to try something new she pulled his hand away and pushed him onto his back.

Buffy trailed her fingers along his abs and down to his erection; she gripped him before sticking her tongue out to swipe across the head. She hadn't done this before but wanted too, after having a girly chat with Cordy she felt ready.

He closed his eyes and groaned at the sensation, at first she was hesitant but quickly she grew more bold, taking him further into her mouth "Buffy" she released him with a pop then came up to lie beside him, he kissed her softly then reached over to the bedside cabinet.

She watched him carefully as he sheathed himself in the latex then lay in between her legs, nerves bubbled up in her stomach, not from fear but with excitement. Angel ran his thumb over her lip "You sure?"

All she could do was nod, she was more than sure that she wanted to be with him. His fingers teased her and his tongue massaged hers, as the kiss grew deeper he grasped himself and brought his erection to her body.

Buffy wrapped her arms round his neck and dug her nails into his skin when he pushed forward; she let out a grunt of pain and scrunched her eyes shut. Angel frowned at the discomfort on her face, wanting nothing more than to take it away.

He placed whisper soft kisses all over her face as he pushed in deeper, claiming her virginity. She let out a few deep breathes then looked at him, her eyes damp but full of love "I love you" he kissed her deeply as he began to thrust.

At first they were fumbling against each other learning together on what pace to use and what angle their hips should be. Angel wanted to please her so his fingers came down to stroke her in time with his thrusts, her back arched off the bed.

They got into a rhythm which caused both of their breaths to come out in pants, Buffy bit her lip as she felt that familiar build up of pressure, it was dulled due to the pain that still ebbed away but told her of her forthcoming release.

She let out a whimper as she came, her teeth sinking into his shoulder. Angel thrust once more then came hard, he lay on top of her but made sure than he kept the majority of his weight on his forearms "You okay?"

Buffy ran her fingers over the dents that her nails had left and smiled up at him "Yeah" she accepted the kiss that he pressed against her mouth then sighed contentedly. Angel pulled out of her carefully and took the condom off and threw it in the trash.

He took her hand and kissed the ring like earlier, she allowed him to pull her up and off of the bed into another toe curling kiss. When she looked back at the bed she could see a faint mark of blood on the dark sheets and cringed.

Angel ran his arms around her hips and kissed her forehead then her earlobe "Don't worry about it" she looked up at him with so much trust and love he wanted to cry, he led her down to the bathroom and started the shower.

Once the spray was hot he pulled her inside with him and began to lather her slender frame up with soap. His hands caressed her body from head to toe eliciting another moan from her; he rinsed the suds off of her then quickly washed himself.

Buffy wrapped herself in one of the bath sheets as Angel finished getting washed then slung the towel low on his hips. She let her hair down from the knot it was in then shook her head, looking in the mirror is was a bit undone but would work.

Angel came up behind her and pulled her flush against his chest; they just stared at each other through the mirror and smiled. She turned around in his embrace to place a kiss on his chest then rest her head against him.

He looked down at her petite frame, hugging his larger one and gave her a squeeze; he thought long ago that he had been in love but now holding her in his arms he could tell that before it was lust – with Buffy it was the real thing.


	9. Chapter 9: Part One

**Thanks for reviewing!**

 **Chapter 9: Part One**

* * *

A loud bang from outside startled him from his nap; he rubbed his eyes and looked around momentarily forgetting that he was now back in Sunnydale. Angel stretched high to crack his back then gingerly stood up.

He rolled his neck and swung his arms to loosen them up and sighed, the nap had done him good he felt refreshed but slightly sad. Being as close to his mom as he was it was creeping in that he wouldn't be able to scoot on over to her house any time he felt like it.

Seeing that it was only past six he decided that he would go out and pick up some food rather than have it delivered. Pocketing his wallet he began the walk down to the main street, it looked like nothing had changed, all of the shops remained the same, and even the damn rickety park bench was still there.

He placed his order with the Chinese restaurant then promised that he would be back within five minutes as he needed to pick up soda from the market across the street. He picked up some essentials then cursed himself for not getting a car first of all.

As he made his way around the shop he felt that familiar tingle, the one that signalled that Buffy was near. He closed his eyes to savour it, in case it wasn't her; when he reopened his eyes and looked down the aisle there she was.

Her long hair was now cropped to her shoulders, her skin was a less tan than before and although she had dark circles under her eyes - she looked beautiful. Slowly he walked over to her and stood behind her in silence; would she welcome him with open arms?

"Buffy?" his voice came out shy, almost as if he was scared to speak to her.

Taking a few calming breaths she slowly turned around to be faced with a blast from the past, she had felt that tingle that he used to bring out in her and she thought it was just a feeling, there would be no way that he could be back here after all this time.

"Angel" her voice came out breathy as always, her wide green eyes glittering under the fluorescent lighting in the store. His heart clenched to hear her say his name like that; he loved when she said it like that.

"How are you? God it's been years" a smile barely registered on her face and she rubbed her arm gently, it had been years since she seen him but his picture was etched in her memory. He was her first love and it almost killed her that he left.

Angel smiled back and she cleared her throat, but it was still rough "Yeah, been a good few years" he saw her shift under his gaze, he wasn't sure if it was good or not.

Biting back the small bubble of jealousy he cleared his own throat, he wanted to act indifferent and pleasant, not sounding like he was resentful in any way "So I heard you got married, Riley is it? Congratulations Buff"

Her face dropped immediately, the barely there smile was now gone and her eyes glazed over; the vacant expression on her face baffled him. He reached out to her concerned by her reaction but she backtracked towards the door.

"It was nice seeing you Angel" her voice was flat and lifeless, he frowned when she didn't even make contact with him; she just turned and walked away.

He watched her slumped form as she fled towards the exit; his stomach twisting into tiny knots; he was trying to be civil with her despite the tiny bit of jealousy he felt and she acted like he was no one to her, just a stranger?

Angel stormed to the cashier and paid for his things, he got back to the Chinese in time so that his food was just handed out and hailed down a cab. He couldn't get it out of his mind about how she reacted; at first she looked almost happy to see him?

It was annoying by how she was acting, okay so he was her ex but that didn't mean that they could now speak; they had dated years ago and didn't end on bad terms; it was just the distance that won in the long run.

He slammed the door shut and sat down heavily on the sofa, looking down at the food on the table he turned his nose up and pushed it away, he didn't know if he could even take a bite.

* * *

Angel had spent the day with Oz and Xander at the mall, it was one of those 'we have to see our friends days' that both their parents had nudged them into, with the house being empty for a couple of hours he would rather have Buffy over at his and preferably naked.

Xander groaned "Angel man, Buffy missed you so much in the five minutes since you text her last?" he was only joking but Angels scowl made him shrink back, he chuckled then drank his soda and looked around the room.

Angel leaned back in his seat and gave them both a look "Sorry guys, it's just that…" Oz kept the same even look as he watched the pair "You have an empty house and want to have sex with Buffy"

The pair of them choked on their sodas, they should have expected Oz to come out with something like that. Angel cleared his throat and smirked "Lately we've not had a chance to be alone; the car is good but not that good"

Xander quirked his eyebrow at him "And before you ask, you're not getting any details" his face fell at Angels words and he scoffed, pretending that he didn't want any details in the first place.

Checking his phone, he read the text from Buffy saying that she missed him then saw that Kathy had summoned him home "Gotta go guys" he shouldered on his jacket and frowned, he was expecting them to be out until late evening, not that he had plans back at the house anyways.

By the time he got home he had ran through every scenario in his head, he went from good to bad and somewhere lost in the middle; he was never summoned unless it was something bad. His heart rate increased as he went into the house and found them sitting calmly at the dining room table.

"Angel please sit down" he took a seat across from his parents silently pleading that they continue. Colin took Kathy's hand in his and cleared his throat "Angel, I've got a promotion… the new job is such a good opportunity"

Angel smiled widely, he knew has father had applied for a new job and that it would be ten times better than his current one; that was good news. When they shared a look with each other he lost his smile.

"The job is in Philadelphia…" his face fell further "This is going to be a big change for us son… but I'd like you to be on board with us"

He stood up so fast that it knocked the chair backwards and fell to the ground "I can't believe you! You didn't mention about moving across the country. What about Buffy? I can't leave her" Kathy reached out for him but he shook his head "No, I'm not leaving her!"

She saw the fury in his eyes and stood back "Angel hon, we only have three weeks before we have to leave" his dark scowl bore right through her, he kicked the chair that had fell over and broke the backrest; without saying anything he stormed out of the house.

Even when Kathy shouted on him to come back, he refused to look back or slow down; he couldn't believe what was happening, clenching his fists he kept up the pace as he walked away from his parents.

Oooooooooooooo

Buffy sighed with boredom; Joyce and Dawn were out for a short while to pick up some art supplies leaving her on her own. When she heard the door being chapped she rushed to it, a smile broke out on her face when she saw it was Angel "Hi"

He pulled her into his embrace as he entered the house; he kicked the door shut as his mouth descended on hers. They stumbled until her back hut the wall, she mumbled something then pulled back from the kiss; she palmed his cheek "What's wrong?"

Angel nuzzled her nose gently with his "I love you" he linked his fingers through hers and ran his thumb over her knuckles. She frowned at the look on his face, he looked dejected "Please tell me?" her stomach clenched, hoping that nothing bad had happened.

He led her up to her bedroom and sat down on the bed with her, when she saw his eyes dampen a lump formed in her throat "Angel you're scaring me" he gripped onto her hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss it gently.

"My dad got a new job" when she went to smile he stopped her "…it's in Philadelphia" her mouth dropped, she went to say something but then stopped and snapped back shut again. She held his gaze to see if he was making this up.

Seeing that he was telling the truth she choked back a sob, her chest was so tight it almost hurt to breathe "When?"

Angel looked down to the ring on her finger and sighed, this was something he never thought would happen, yeah maybe moving away for College next year, with his family still here but not now and with them all moving away "In three weeks"

The tears fell from her eyes freely and screeched "Three weeks? That's not enough time!" his heart crushed when he saw the tears escaped from her huge eyes, he tried to wipe them away from her cheeks but there were too many.

Buffy stifled back a cry and grabbed onto his shirt to pull him close, Angel wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her onto his lap "Don't cry" he kissed her deeply as his own tears ran down his cheeks and mixed with hers.

She placed her head in the crook of his neck "I can't believe this is happening, I don't want to lose you" they lay back on the still holding each other. Angel ran his fingers through her hair "I don't want to lose you either"

Angel shuffled further onto the bed as Buffy straddled his waist, he held up her ring hand to kiss the ring he had given her "You belong to someone" Buffy kissed the ring then kissed him "Forever" his hands ran up and down her back as she deepened the kiss.

Buffy ran her fingers through his hair as she stared into his eyes, her hands couldn't stop shaking from emotion. She placed her forehead against his and whispered "Forever" before kissing him again.

They took their time to strip each other of their clothes, savouring each inch of skin through kisses and touches; it made their hearts tighten knowing that this couldn't last forever. Angel gripped her hips to assist her in riding him, when she came he thrust a few more times then came himself.

Buffy lay down on his chest and closed her eyes; Angel wrapped his arms around her slender waist and closed his eyes, neither said anything; just content to be in each other's arms.


	10. Chapter 9: Part Two

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 **Chapter 9: Part Two**

* * *

In the lead up to them moving was the best and worst time of his life, time with Buffy was amazing, making him love her more than ever but they knew it was coming to an end. They had agreed that once things settled that either he would come to LA or her to Philly.

Joyce was even more supportive than she had ever been before in their relationship, she spoke to the both of them letting them know that she knew that the distance would be difficult but she would do anything to assist in them being able to see each other.

The weekend before the departure he had convinced both of their parents to allow him to take Buffy out of town for the weekend. They rented a condo on the beach and spent the full weekend in each other's arms, clinging to one another as if their life depended on it.

Each morning he would wake up early just so he could watch her sleep, the morning sun that broke through the blinds created a warm glow on her face; his chest tightened, making sure that he could commit this to memory.

Having her in his arms, her petite soft body snuggling into his; it felt right, it felt like home.

The last full day in Sunnydale was surreal, no one mentioned what was going to happen; the day was like any other day spent in the sun. The gang hung out then left the pair to go out for dinner, it was just like normal.

Despite having a good evening, he never managed to get any sleep that night. Tossing and turning, he lay awake, doing his best not to think about what was going to happen. Giving up on sleep, he got out of bed and sat outside to watch the sunrise.

He was unusually calm as he ate his breakfast, tidied up then packed the last few things that he would take with him on the plane. The taxi detoured to Revello Drive to pick up Buffy then set off, even then he was fine.

Buffy clung to him as soon as she got into the taxi, her death grip on his hand didn't bother him in reply he pressed a kiss to her temple and smiled. As they saw the sign for the airport he felt her body start to tremble and the sharp intakes of breath.

Angel managed to keep his composure at the airport as Buffy cried relentlessly; as soon as she was out of sight he allowed the tears to fall. Kathy tried to comfort him but he shunned her touch, she allowed him to wallow on his own.

As he put the seatbelt on and looked out the window he grimaced as he felt a tight crushing sensation in his chest, his hand shook as he laid it upon his chest to feel his erratic heartbeat. It wasn't physical, it was emotional; he was leaving his love and hated it.

At first they spoke every day, they had agreed that Buffy would come out to Philly for the weekend but the time they had agreed got pushed back due to his demanding senior schedule and prep work for College.

After months of being separated their calls became less and the words of love simmered down and before he knew it they ceased to speak.

Thinking on it all, he maybe should have made more of an attempt to keep her in his life, it might have been selfish, asking a girl who just turned seventeen to hold back her life for someone who lived across the country; he knew the answer, he couldn't ask her that.

Seeing her last night brought all those feelings to the surface, he knew deep down that he would never forget his first love but actually seeing her in the flesh he knew that it wasn't deep down – he still had feelings.

Feelings that he knew he could never act upon, he wasn't a home wrecker, he didn't want to hurt her again so he knew that he could force them away and be her friend if she let him. Sitting at the breakfast bar he sipped his coffee, he had no idea on how to contact her, did Joyce even still stay in Revello Drive?

Clicking the mouse he looked through the online site for the showroom in LA where he would purchase a car, Sunnydale had a dealership but the cars were newer but slower; the car he wanted since he was a teen he could only get in the big city.

Sinking the rest of his coffee he rinsed out the mug and picked up his wallet, he needed to pick up more things for the house then head to LA later that day. Although he felt at home he still had that weird feeling, one that he couldn't shake.

He had friends here, they hadn't spoken in years, so he guessed they would be more like acquaintances; maybe they could mend the bridges and get to know each other like they used to?

The bus ride to LA took longer than expected, he hated using public transportation; it was overcrowded, loud, smelly and ran behind its expected schedule. He took a refreshing breath of fresh air when he stepped off the greyhound then walked to the dealership.

After speaking with the salesman he picked up the keys for the vintage Plymouth and set off back to his new home. The car took half the time to get back than the bus would have, which he was thankful for; it had been a long day so far.

When he got back to Sunnydale he pulled into the car park beside the Bronze and stopped the engine; this was a place that he hadn't been in years but he could feel the pull of the place; enticing him back in.

Looking at the surroundings, like everything in this town was still the same, it began to irritate him that this place was like a time warp; the outside world aged and changed naturally – Sunnydale was preserved in earlier times.

He ordered a cappuccino and sat down at the bar, a young woman sat down beside him smiling, trying to play coy, he gave her a pleasant smile then took a sip of his drink. She was pretty but looked much younger than him.

"Angel?" his head whipped round to see who was speaking, he came face to face with Xander; he beamed widely, thankful that it was an old friend that had come along "Angel that is you, wow buddy, looking good!"

Angel chuckled and shook his hand "Yeah It's me, your lookin' good too Xand'" his goofy smile was just the same but his shaggy hair was cropped close to his head, he was wearing plain coloured clothes, rather than the eccentric patterns he favoured as a teen.

Xander looked back to the table then smiled at Angel "Back in town?" Angel nodded yes "Say why don't you come by the table, sit with us" thankful for the invitation he grabbed his jacket and followed Xander to the far side of the club.

Oz immediately stood up to shake his hand "Angel, man long time no see" Angel returned the sentiment then looked to the two woman who were also at the table, Xander picked up the blondes hand and kissed it "This is my girlfriend Anya… and that's Willow"

The red head who sat next to Oz smiled shyly at him "It's nice to meet you all" he sat down, at first he kept out of the conversation just happy that he was involved, then the guys asked him how life had been since he'd moved which took up some time.

He kept an eye out on the crowd to see if he could see her, try to mend bridges, each time he spied a blonde he would get his hopes up. As it came near closing time, longer than he had expected to stay out he followed the couples outside.

Anya and Willow went to the restroom as the guys stood in the alley way. Angel thrust his hands into the pockets of his jacket and smiled "It was great catching up with you guys… once I'm settled in; you're both more than welcome to come over for a beer"

He looked down to the ground then back at his long time friends and forced a smile "I saw Buffy yesterday" both of them shared a look, he chuckled dejectedly "Don't worry guys, I know she's married, I'm glad for her"

Xander bit his lip and looked away; he frowned at their behaviour before he could ask anything Oz cleared his throat "Her husband, Riley… he died… four month ago… car accident" his heart dropped, thinking back over how she reacted to him yesterday; he felt like a bastard.

"Buffy was in the car with him, she wasn't doing too well for a while…" he didn't think it was right to tell the story; Buffy struggled to talk about this and wouldn't be too happy that he was spilling all the details to her ex-boyfriend.

Angel ran his hand over the back of his neck and sighed "God, I didn't know" he felt incredibly bad, there she was out trying to get on with her life and he brought up her dead husband, congratulating her; how stupid.

Xander patted his shoulder "She's getting better… we'll I gotta go" he waved them off and escorted Anya to his car. Oz linked his fingers with Willow's, a shadow of a smile on his face "It was great to see you, we'll catch up soon"

The pair of them watched Angel walk away, Willow turned to Oz with her eyebrow quirked "Yeah that's Angel" Willow nodded knowingly then watched him drive off.

Oooooooooooooo

Angel threw his keys onto the unit and trudged up the stairs, he kicked the door closed and grunted, tonight started off well, the only thing he could salvage from the end of the night would be that he wouldn't put his foot in his mouth if he saw her again.

Looking at the unmade bed he ripped the new sheets out of the packaging and hastily threw them on the mattress. With the bed half made he stripped down to his boxers and crawled under the duvet, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep.


	11. Chapter 10

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* * *

Angel got up early the next day to make a start on gutting the full house of things he didn't want; so that when his things came by delivery it would make things easier on him. His shirt was off and tucked into his jeans as he was sweating profusely.

He wiped his brow with his forearm and dragged the bags out to the end of the drive, he heard a small moan and clinking of glasses, when he turned around a smiling blonde in the tiniest sundress shook a glass of lemonade at him.

"You must be the new neighbour, hi, my name is Darla" she grinned widely and handed him the ice cold drink, he took it from her politely "Hi, I'm Angel" she ran her eyes over him appreciatively as her tongue ran over her teeth.

He sunk the juice in a matter of minutes and handed her the glass back, she took a sip of her own "Welcome to Sunnydale" she turned around when her husband walked out to kiss her on the cheek "Honey, say hi to the new neighbour Angel"

Angel eyed him then Darla, his long sandy blonde hair came down past his chin, he sneered at him "Charmed" he walked away without saying anything. Darla rolled her eyes "If you ever need an escort to show you around town let me know"

Her hand came to rest on his bare chest; she pushed her chest out to give him a good view of her braless breasts under the skimpy sundress. Angel stood back "Thanks Darla, we'll I better get back in" He could feel her cool eyes burning over his skin as he entered his house.

Oooooooooooooo

From what he could tell Darla was a housewife – well as close as she could be, she spent a lot of the day lounging out at the pool in the backyard with her yappy little dog. Occasionally posing her body in attempt to get his attention but he wasn't interested.

After two days of working on the house and her annoying him, he was glad to see when her and the husband wheeled suitcases behind them as they got into a waiting limo. The new office would be open in a couple of days which meant he would be out at work and away from her poor attempts at seduction.

He went down to the mall to kill some time as he had finished sorting out the house, on his way to the food court he heard someone call his name "Angel? Wow look at you all grown up" he beamed brightly when Joyce pulled him into a hug.

"Joyce, it's nice to see you" he hugged her gingerly then smiled warmly, he had missed her too, she was like his mother-in-law, always looking out for him and accepting him into her home "MOM!" he turned around in surprise to see Dawn.

Cute little Dawnie, who used to bounce around and ask him to play dollies with her, she was now swishing her hair and tapping her foot to the ground; eerily like Buffy done when she was a teenager "Dawn, watch your tone… come say hi to Angel"

Her bright blue eyes shined happily as she squealed "Angel" she pulled him into a hug like Joyce had just done. He chuckled again and hugged her back, still in awe with her "Wow, I haven't seen you since you were a little girl"

Dawn frowned playfully and groaned "Oh I'm almost fourteen now, I won't bother you trying to play with dollies" she grinned, remembering all the times she forced him to play with her, putting on a petted lip when he refused.

Angel smiled fondly at the memories, being an only child he yearned for siblings for years and Dawn was the closest thing he had to a sister "Oh, there goes my afternoon plans" she giggled loudly and fawned over him, just like her sister used to.

Joyce eyed her youngest carefully "Honey, why don't you run along to the store and start looking for shoes" at the mention of more shopping Dawn nodded as she power walked over to the store, leaving the pair of them alone.

She took a deep breath "I suppose you've heard about Buffy?" when he nodded she continued "She's still working through things but it would be nice to have a familiar face around, I know she would like that"

Angel pursed his lips together, he would like that too "I met her at the market" Joyce nodded and placed her hand on his shoulder "She told me… she was upset but not in the way you think, think about it, if you want I can give you her address"

She took his chin between her thumb and forefinger and gave him a knowing look "It was really nice to see you Angel" he watched as she went in the same direction as her daughter. He took a moment to digest what he had discussed with Joyce and there was only one choice.

He pocketed the address the Joyce had jotted down and continued with the last of his shopping, he rushed off home to put away his purchases and change clothes before he headed to the address that he was given.

With an unsteady hand he pushed the doorbell then took a deep breath, his face fell when it wasn't Buffy who answered but the red head he had met a few nights ago "Uh… Willow? Hi" she stood motionless then giggled nervously "Angel… what you doing here?"

She mentally slapped herself then grabbed his arm quickly "Oh I didn't mean to be rude! Sorry, how can I help you" this time she gave him a genuine smile.

Angel ran his hand over the back of his neck and forced a smile "Bumped into Joyce at the mall earlier, she gave me this address?"

Willow nodded and stood back so he could enter "Yeah, me and Buffy stay here, it's our own house!" she closed the door over and bounced into the kitchen "Buffy you have a visitor!" when he entered the kitchen she was sitting at the breakfast bar cradling a cup of coffee.

She stood up immediately and brushed away the creases on her top "Angel hi" she gave him a small smile, but to him it meant the world. Willow gave Buffy a look then left them alone in the kitchen.

"I bumped into your mom and sister at the mall; I hope you don't mind that I came here?" he didn't want to come across to eager or annoying. He came further into the kitchen and leaned against the wall beside her.

Buffy shook her head "No I don't mind" she looked to the floor finding it difficult to look at him "Angel I want to apologise for the way I acted in the market" she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

Before she could saying he tipped her jaw up to look into her eyes "You don't have to apologise for anything, I should be the one apologising… I didn't mean to upset you" he held her gaze watching the emotions run a riot in her eyes.

She cleared her throat and smiled "You didn't know" his hand cupped her cheek and she leaned into his palm, savouring his touch.

Angel ran his thumb over her cheek "I've missed you" when her eyes shot to his he smiled kindly "If it's not too much, would you like to go out for something to eat? I'd like to catch up with an old friend"

Buffy nodded for a moment, she didn't know whether to be touched by his kindness or be hurt that he only classified her as a friend. It was irrational, of course they were old friends but eight years was a long time plus she did move on…

"That would be nice, thank you" she grabbed her purse and waved to Willow on the way out, although it was sunny today there was a light breeze, she unconsciously walked so close to Angel that his body heat transferred on to her.

The conversation was light, they talked about what happened in the months following the move and about the last few years, although they steered clear of anything to do with Riley. He could tell that she wasn't the same bubbly girl that he left so when he got a tiny laugh out of her his heart warmed.

They reached the diner and took their seats, during their meal he could see Buffy shift nervously and look around the room, her eyes darting from side to side then she would sniffle. He looked around himself to find what was upsetting her but he couldn't see anything out of the norm.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" she looked at him, her eyes full of hurt as she went to speak he cut in "and please don't say it's nothing, I want to make sure you are okay… it's clear you're not" once again it touched her by his concern for her.

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye "After the accident, I had a hard time…I guess no one told you about it huh?" she smacked her lips and chuckled miserably "I took things bad, one day it got too much and it broke me"

With another sad glance around the room she tipped her head "they're all thinking one thing – there's sad little Buffy, isn't she crazy, how pathetic" she wiped a tear away harshly "I was kept in the hospital for a while, they all think I'm a psycho that belongs in the nut house"

Angel glared harshly around the room, hoping that no one was thinking this "Don't worry yourself with what other people think, people go through hard times and sometimes you need help, it's not being weak, its being strong… strong that you want to help yourself"

Buffy looked at him his tears in her eyes, since she had been admitted into the centre most people looked down on her, they were _sorry_ but most didn't mean it. They wanted the gossip about how her life went downhill and how she was all alone.

It was refreshing to speak to someone who wasn't her family or her few remaining friends that genuinely cared and didn't sneer at how unfortunate her life had turned "Thank you" she whispered at him.

Angel took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze; he wanted her to know that he would be there for her and help her with anything she needed. He could see her visibly relax in her seat then take a few more bites of her barely touched food.

When they finished their meal Buffy took a sip of her drink, she frowned when she saw Faith waltz in with her cousin Amy. Ever since she was the babysitter they had not liked each other, after Angel left Faith went on the defensive again causing more hurt.

In the years she thought that she could grow up, it was a wish unfulfilled as Faith was still as bitchy as she was years ago. She was one of the main culprits that still brought up her hospitalisation without any remorse.

Angel saw who she was looking at and groaned; even during their relationship she was still a bitch, doing her best to put doubt and lies in between them. That was all up till Joyce fired her and she wasn't around a lot but still had the odd dig here and there.

Faith grinned deviously when she spotted Buffy and found who she was with, she heard that tall dark and handsome was back in town but had yet to see him for herself. It appeared that the years were good to him, he looked absolutely delicious.

"Angel, long time, no see… lookin' good big guy, how about we blow this place and have some fun huh?" she shot Buffy a look then smirked at him again. It amused her that Buffy shrunk into the seat, hiding herself from the world.

Angel shook his head "Thanks but no thanks Faith, I'm here with Buffy"

Faith guffawed loudly and slapped her thigh "Better watch out, miss psycho-nut might turn on you… bit dangerous to be around someone who's been in a straightjacket"

Buffy stood up immediately, knocking the chair to the floor, her red hot glare set on the older brunette. To keep herself from lashing out she gripped onto the table turning her knuckles white "What did you say?"

The brunette chuckled, Buffy stood tall, addressing not only Faith but the rest of the diner "Oh that's right, depressed, pitiful little Buffy, she lost her husband then went psycho, oh I forgot" she picked up a plate and smashed it off of the floor, laughing manically.

"Better watch out before she goes mad and wrecks the place huh?" her voice was hoarse from shouting so she smashed another plate and forced a laugh. She poked her finger against Faiths chest hard "You better watch out you bitch, say anything more and I will put you in the hospital!"

All of the other times she felt their judgement she would shrink into the background, so her best to hide from it all – deep down she knew she couldn't continue on like that, she would have to stand up tall and face the world.

Not knowing where this change came from, she didn't care; it felt good standing up for herself for a change, usually her friends would do it. She set her harsh glare around the diner at all the occupants then back at Faith.

For the first time Faith stood motionless, she was all bark and no bite; her reputation was just that, it was word of mouth that she was a hard ass when in fact if she was in a fight her ass would be handed to her on a silver platter.

Buffy stormed past her and out into the street, Angel who had been in shock during the whole scene looked down to the smashed plates then back at an equally shocked Faith.


	12. Chapter 11

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* * *

Finally getting over the shock of the outburst, Angel threw some money plus extra for the broken plates onto the table and ran outside; luckily Buffy was sauntering down the street and hadn't got too far. When he caught up with her she had her arms wrapped around her waist, tears streaming down her face.

"Hey" she jumped at his voice and sobbed loudly, not knowing what else to do he pulled her into his arms and held her tight as she cried. He whispered against her ear to calm her down as his hand rubbed up and down her back.

They had drew the attention of a few bystanders as well as some of the diner patrons who had come outside to continue the show they just received free of charge. Angel frowned once again then hailed a cab, quickly bundling her inside the back.

She kept her face pressed against his chest during the journey; he gave the driver some money and led her to her house. When he shut the door over Willow ran over to the pair to gather Buffy in her arms "What happened?"

Angel closed his eyes as another sob tore through her "Faith came into the diner and made some comments… called her things" he didn't want to repeat the words so not to upset her any further, Willow clicked on and clenched her jaw.

"That b – I –t – c –h!" he wanted to smile at her innocence but couldn't bring himself to, he wanted to wrap Buffy up in bubble wrap and protect her from every harsh thing in the outside world. They went into the living room and Buffy lay on the sofa.

Willow went into the kitchen with Angel, she ran her fingers through her hair repeatedly "I'm so sick of this, I want her to have at least one day where nothing bad sets her off, she's come a long way but people like Faith will set her back"

She picked out some pills from the cabinet and poured a glass of water, when he looked at the tablets she looked at him sadly "These will calm her down, let her get some sleep" he didn't like that she had to rely on medication to get some peace.

"At the beginning she took so much, lately she hasn't used them, just the odd day that she has to take them… I know that she doesn't want to but if she doesn't then she'll suffer exhaustion again"

Angel nodded in acceptance, it pained him that she was going through this, she lost the man she loved and now she was suffering "I'll be here if you need any help" she smiled gratefully at him then went back into the living room.

Buffy sat on the sofa in silence, completely void of emotion. Robotically she took the pills from Willow and downed them with the glass of water that was given "Thank you" she stood up and walked towards the stairs.

She stopped at the bottom to look at him "Sorry I ruined your evening" immediately she walked up to her bedroom without giving him a chance to reply. He looked at her retreating form with a lump in his throat, wanting nothing more than to follow her and hold her tight.

He looked back to Willow who had the same look on her face as he did, he didn't know what to say; Willow only tipped her head at him and he forced a smile as he walked towards the front door. Once outside he leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths.

It took a lot not to march back inside and scoop her into his embrace and spend the night with her but it was a foolish idea. He took one last look at the house then walked back to his own, struggling to keep his emotion in check, he couldn't believe that _his_ Buffy was reduced to something so small.

She was always such a free spirit, bold and confident person, it was unnerving to see her shut herself off from the world. Angel ran his hands over his face then sat down heavily on the sofa once he made it home.

He'd always been able to compartmentalize, he could shut down his emotions at the drop of a hat – well, on the outside he could. His face would be a picture of calm, even stoic, broody for the most part but it was all just a front.

Right now he was a mess, his stomach was churning, he'd not felt like this since that day all those years ago; he didn't think it was possible to feel so dejected again. He hated it.

Oooooooooooooo

The next morning he called Willow to make sure she was okay, it was a bit of a relief to hear that she had slept throughout the night but to hear that she was mindlessly sitting around the house and had refused to eat her breakfast irked him.

Unfortunately he had a meeting that morning with the other members of staff from the office; it was the last prep work in the led up to the opening. He did his best to remain calm during the meeting, even when they all talked about getting some brunch.

Thankfully they accepted his apology for his early departure; he couldn't think of anything else apart from what happened last night. When he spoke to Will that morning he found out that she had no plans for the day, so he wanted to make it up to her.

Angel chapped the door and gave her his most charming smile, the vacant look on her face quickly turned to one of surprise "Angel" she whispered his name and let a small smile tug at her lips "I'm sorry about last night; I wanted to take you out for a nice meal and ruined it"

Buffy shook her head furiously "No! I'm sorry… it was all my fault, I couldn't control my feelings and I just snapped" her eyes glazed over as she spoke, he pulled her against his chest and shushed her, she took a few deep breaths to calm down.

"It's okay, you've been through a lot I would never hold anything against you" he kissed the top of her head, forgetting that she wasn't his anymore but it felt right. She let him into the house and closed the door.

"Why are you so good? I wouldn't expect you to look after me, I know you have your own life" they hadn't got around to discussing whether or not he was in a relationship; she wasn't sure if she wanted to know the truth.

Angel wiped a stray tear away from her cheek and smiled "I'll always have time for you Buffy" she closed her eyes and sighed contentedly "To make up for last night, I'm taking you out for brunch and before you say no, it's a place a little outside of town"

She gave him a look then looked down at her pyjamas, she felt and most likely looked horrible "I'll be a while" it was in her nature to find excuses to not go out of the house and socialise, he quirked his eyebrow at her "I don't mind waiting"

Buffy nodded firmly then made her way up to the bathroom to take a shower. Angel poured a coffee, knowing that she wouldn't mind and got comfortable at the table as he waited on her to get ready for the day.

As he sipped the coffee he thought about how being back in Buffy's life, even just as a friend was something he was happy with. Even if her husband was still alive he would be a friend, she was the type of girl that was likable and completely sweet.

When she came back down she smiled at him, he was staring into the mug like it was a crystal ball telling him the future. It confused her that he had walked back into her life and was there for her like he had never left.

Her heart broke when he left; she had hopes that they would survive the distance but sadly that didn't happen. It took her a long time to get over him, was it foolish to let him back in her life now?

"Ready" his face turned slowly to look at hers; he gave her a warm smile as he rinsed the mug out then extended his arm out to her. She chuckled lightly and linked her arm through his as he escorted her to the Plymouth outside.

She buckled herself in and looked around the plush interior, she knew that this was his dream; they had discussed such things during their heart to hearts. It was nice to know that he got something from his dreams to come true.

Angel smiled at her warmly knowing where her thoughts lay; he started the engine and took off out of town. The journey was pleasantly silent, he was happy enough for her not to be chatty as long as she was happy and not thinking about the incident.

The bistro he chose was near the beach, thankfully with it being a working day it wasn't filled with many people. They ordered their food and continued their conversation from last night before Faith had interrupted.

She found out that when he first went to College he shut out the rest of the world then gradually got included in sports and met a girl. He stressed that he didn't intend to fall for her but Nina was a rebound, she didn't last long.

He told the story of how he busted his ass off until he graduated and got the job he had, he told her when he spent the summer in Ireland visiting some relatives and how the land was beautiful and how much she would love it there.

When it came time to discuss her time, she told him candidly that she swore off men until she went to College herself and met Parker, it caused her embarrassment to tell him that he used her and cast her aside – she could see his jaw tick and let out a soft chuckle.

Then came time to talk about Riley, they had met at a Frat Party; unlike everyone else he was stone cold sober, he escorted her home only asking for a kiss on the cheek. She said it was like a breath of fresh air after Parker, it was just what she needed.

Angel bit back the jealousy at the way she talked about Riley, thinking of her being someone else's in the most serious of ways wasn't pleasant. When he saw the tears to begin to form in her eyes he said that she needn't talk if she didn't want to.

She placed her hand on his "Thank you Angel, my shrink says I should talk and not keep it in, it is helping" seeing the smile on her innocent face, he couldn't help but smile himself. He would push back any resentment and let her talk as much as she wanted.

"Anytime you need to talk just give me a call" he meant that, although it sounded like he was whipped, bending to her every whim, it wasn't a hardship, he wanted to be there for her. Once they were full they took a walk along the beach to bask in the sun before heading home.

He walked her to the door and smiled "I had a good day Buff" they stood awkwardly; it was usually at this point he would kiss her farewell but that would be entirely inappropriate. He looked down to his watch and sighed "Well I better go"

The smile on Buffy's face faltered, she had been having a good day, it was normal, no one looked down at her or looked at her with their sorry eyes, she was back to just being Buffy "Thank you, for today… I did have a good time"

He kissed the top of her hand "I'll see you around" she nodded then went inside; he slowly walked down the path back to his car. He saw her standing by the window, she raised her hand to wave at him before closing the blinds; he waved back at her just taking a moment to admire her beauty.


	13. Chapter 12

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In the following weeks Angel done his best to be there for Buffy, his busy work schedule meant that he couldn't spend a lot of time away from his desk. If he wasn't at work he was eating or sleeping, getting back into the habit after a long time off was hard to get used to.

They spoke on the phone during his breaks at work, even if just for five minutes, each day he could hear her confidence coming back, each day she was more animated and even said that she had ventured out for the day.

She had confessed to him that she found it difficult going out by her own, scared that she would have a panic attack and burst into tears; the day that she first saw him Willow was waiting outside for her.

Knowing that he was a part of her healing journey meant something to him; even her family openly accepted him back in the picture. Dawn used him as an outlet for emotions that she hadn't even told her mom – that she felt helpless to see her sister hurting.

This day however when he got her call it was late, she wasn't herself, he asked her what was wrong to which replied that she was okay, it was nothing to worry about. She was spending time with Willow that day so she wasn't alone.

He said goodbye to her and frowned as tapped his thumb off of the table repeatedly then slammed his fist; not liking the feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Oooooooooooooo

When he came home he slammed the door shut and closed his eyes, he had stressed out all day, had a meeting from hell with the guys from LA, all he wanted to do was chill with a beer. He trudged through to the kitchen the tapped his head off the wall when he heard the doorbell.

He whipped the door open, ready to cuss up a storm then stopped as he saw her shy smile "Hi" he stood back to let her inside. Buffy looked around the living room before turning back to him "I hope you don't mind, Will had to run off to work…"

She whispered so quiet he barely heard her words he smiled politely "No that's okay, make yourself comfortable" she wrung her hands together and sat on the edge of the sofa. She looked uncomfortable for a minute before relaxing into the cushions.

Angel sat down on the recliner across from her and switched the TV on "Are you hungry? I could whip up some food if you'd like?" she twitched her nose but the rumble of her stomach gave her away, she blushed furiously then nodded yes.

As he went into the kitchen he yelled "What would you like?" he jumped as he came face to face with her, she'd silently followed him into the kitchen and was sitting at the breakfast bar "I'll eat anything"

He nodded once then opened the large refrigerator and pulled out some chicken and vegetables, as he prepared the chicken salad he felt her eyes on him the entire time; each time he would catch her eye she would smile lightly.

Angel grabbed some soda's and placed the plates down on the breakfast bar, Buffy dug in straight away making adorable noises, enjoying the meal that he had prepared. He took a sip of the soda then cut apart the meat.

Buffy cleared her plate then patted her tummy contentedly, even just looking at her he could see that she had lost weight. She wasn't dangerously unhealthy but the curves she once had, were now softer with some bones protruding.

It pleased him that she had ate the full plate and looked to enjoy it; he had noticed that she was gradually eating more. She was staying true to her word that she was trying to get better, to get back to how she used to be.

Once the dishes were put into the dishwasher they retreated into the living room, when she spied his movie collection she stared idly at one of the titles; when he seen what she was looking at he groaned; it was the only romantic movie he had; of course she wanted to watch it.

Reluctantly he placed it into the DVD player and pressed play; she looked at him gratefully then snuggled into the sofa holding a cushion against her chest. He smiled gently back at her then got comfy on the recliner.

Despite this being sickeningly sweet he had to admit that the movie was okay – being in her company was a plus as well.

Once the movie finished he looked over to find Buffy fast asleep, the cushion in her arms was now hanging half off the sofa. She was snoring lightly, every once in a while her nose would twitch endearingly then she would pout; she was beautiful.

He hated that he had to wake her up, it wasn't appropriate for her to stay the night – not that anything would happen but how would she feel at waking up here? He ran his hand over the side of her face; she leaned into his hand and sighed.

"Buffy?" he stroked her cheek lightly, when she mumbled something he leaned closer to hear. She scrunched her eyes before blinking to get the sleep out of her eyes.

Feeling disorientated from sleep, all she could see was a blur in front of her; fear gripped her, she let out a sob and pushed herself into a sitting position, trying to get as far away from him "No! Please no"

Seeing her flee from him hurt him more than he would have liked, the panic in her face tugged at his heart "Buffy, it's me… Angel" he remained in the spot so not to startle her. She took a few deep breaths and wiped away the few tears that had trickled down her cheeks.

"Angel?" she looked at him like she hadn't seen him before, her wide eyes calmed instantly "Angel…" she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, her head nuzzling into his chest as she sobbed.

His hand patted her hair soothingly "Buffy are you okay?" her frame went rigid in his arms, she pulled back and looked at him with no emotion "I'm fine" her voice was small, even as she cleared her throat it sounded just the same "Sorry… I have to go home"

Worried about her sudden change in emotions he stood up and grabbed his keys, when she started at him blankly he only shrugged "I'll take you home" she followed behind him till they reached the car and during the drive home she closed completely off.

"Thank you" she got out of the car and walked quickly to the house, he caught up with her in no time; she froze and kept her sight on the ground. Gently he tipped her chin up so he could look at her "Buffy, did I do something wrong?"

He wanted to know what caused her outburst earlier, he didn't want to push her into it but it would be nice to know if it was something that he had done.

Buffy licked her bottom lip then sighed, she was so used to handling panic attacks like this alone; most of the time she had to deal with it herself and didn't have to explain what happened "No, you didn't do anything, sorry I got a bit confused when I woke up"

His eyes narrowed, confused? Pleading? Had something happened to her before that she had remembered but rather have forgotten? "Is that all?" she flinched under his scrutiny, she wasn't sure if she could trust him with that information.

Standing tall and using the last of her strength she nodded "Yes, that's everything… thank you for dinner" she gave him one last glance as she locked the front door. He remained in place just watching the door being locked.

The strange feeling in the pit of his stomach returned with a vengeance, he was always one to trust his gut instinct and at this moment it was screaming at him not to ignore anything.

Oooooooooooooo

Willow had told him the next morning that Buffy was quiet just like always, his gut was screaming that something was going down and he shouldn't be ignorant to the signs. It was annoying that he couldn't call her directly but she shunned her cell since the hospital.

He dove into the pool to cool down then came back up to the surface feeling refreshed, his moment was over when he saw Darla walking down the steps to join him in the water; her barely there bikini looking scandalous.

"Angel, such a good idea" she swam around for a minute the bobbed closer to him "It's been a while" she smirked as she came closer to him. She ran her hands over his chest then up and around his neck, laughing wickedly.

Angel glared down at the blonde, she had been relentless in flirting with him, this week was especially annoying as Lindsay was working away; leaving her free as a bird. She leaned her head to the side and licked her lips.

"Mmm, feels good, the hot, the cold, our bodies being so close… why deny yourself what you know you really want?" she pulled his head down and planted her lips on his. Her demanding tongue thrust into his mouth to circle his tongue.

Angel grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, she looked at him in surprise "Oh your hurting me" he was ready to apologise and let her go but her shock turned into lust "But I don't mind" he pushed her back and she elegantly swum backwards.

"Just face it, you want this… I want this; just get over yourself and fuck me" she pulled on the strings to the tiny bikini top and let it float on the water's surface. He glared at her, wanting to spit out the harsh taste of alcohol on her breath.

He climbed out of the pool and crossed his arms over his chest "Get out"

Darla rolled her eyes and climbed up the steps of the pool, she strut over him, her cold blue eyes burning into him "What? Don't think you could handle me? …I guess you just prefer psychotic little cheerleaders huh?"

It took all of his might not to strike her, his fury was reaching boiling point "Leave and don't ever come back" she ran her finger over his jaw then laughed when he flinched "See you around" she swung her bikini top around as she left to go back to her house.

Oooooooooooooo

Once Darla left he got dried off and headed out to the gym, he spent an hour beating the shit out of the punching bag. It infuriated him that she couldn't get it through her skull that he wasn't interested in her, even if she was single he'd still say no.

He took a shower then got redressed, walking out into the evening air he felt amazingly refreshed. He checked his cell and frowned at the six missed calls from Willow "Hey Will what's up?

He heard her intake of breath, her voice was shaking "Angel, have you seen Buffy? I've not saw her since this afternoon… she was supposed to meet Dawnie for a late lunch but didn't show, this isn't like her"

Angel closed his eyes, that feeling was now ringing alarm bells; this was what it was trying to tell him, he wasn't wrong; Buffy wasn't doing well "I haven't seen her… where would she go?" her friend let out a sob and told him that they'd checked all the usual places.

Thinking of only one other place she would go to, he hopped into his car and drove in the direction of the beach. When he got there, there were only a few groups of people lighting bonfires; he described Buffy but to no luck they hadn't seen her.

He spent an hour walking up and down the beach, even checked all the little shops on the boardwalk and still nothing. He called back to Willow to check if she had went home but they hadn't heard anything either; he closed his eyes and held back a sob.


	14. Chapter 13

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"Buffy, where in god's name have you been for the past two days? Everyone is dreadfully worried" her therapist Mr Giles stood up from behind his desk in shock. Her eyes were puffy and rimmed red from crying, he hoped that she hadn't done anything harmful.

He crept carefully to the side of his desk then stopped when she shook her head at him, when Joyce had called him to advise that she was missing he felt the same fear as they did. Seeing her walk through the door to his office was a relief.

She paced around his office mumbling to herself, she had come to like Giles, at first she hated his stuffiness but soon found it endearing – he was like the father she never had "Buffy?"

Her eyes flicked around the room then settled on him "See its one of those things, you think you're doing good, you meet an old boyfriend and although your heart got broke you still find it inside to forgive and accept him back into your life"

He raised his eyebrow, she had told him about Angel the day after she first saw him; he knew of their past and everything leading up to her hospitalisation. To begin with he was going to warn her to stay away but seeing the positive impact he had on her, he was grateful for him.

Buffy chuckled miserably, her fingers griping onto the sleeves of her jacket tightly "He makes me want to forget what happened all those months ago and I think I can… then I see him with that skank, could she be any more tacky, parading around in a thong-bikini, hello there is something called class?!"

She suddenly stopped in her tracks, her shoulders slumping under emotion, ready to crumble "then it hits me… today, today is the day… today is… was…" her eyes glazed over as she looked at the calendar on the wall and wiped her eyes harshly.

Giles felt his heart clench, her rambling was something he was accustomed to "Does Angel know? About your situation?" she shook her head and he frowned, doctor/patient confidentiality meant he couldn't share what he really wanted to share, as far as he knew he was the only one that was privy to this information – she wouldn't budge on letting anyone else know.

"Buffy, if you tell someone it may help" she looked up at him angrily "I told you" he held his hands up as a sign of peace as he came closer to her "You know that's not what I mean"

She looked at her surrogate father for a long minute, knowing that he was right; damn he was always right "I will tell him, I feel like he has a right to know"

He only smiled at her "It has been a long road Buffy, it's still not over, times have been hard and will continue to be but I am proud of you" he put his hand on her shoulder giving it a squeeze. He knew that their relationship wasn't entirely appropriate.

He should be a professional and keep a distance but he couldn't, she felt like a daughter to him and it hurt him whenever she came to his office in floods of tears. The past two month had been more positive and looking good.

"Now you better call home, your mother has been so upset" he gave her a stern look. She put her hand on top of his and smiled "I will" she wiped her eyes again then nodded as she walked out of his office.

Oooooooooooooo

She came to rest at the bridge over the river that led out of town, letting the sun beat down on her skin as she sat on the ledge and let her legs dangle off of the edge. She'd had two days to think over what she would say but kept pushing it off; there were so many things that she had to get out in the open; what one would be best first of all?

The day after her episode she came to the conclusion that she would begin to tell Angel some things about her time with Riley. There was something's that she felt had to be out in the open, when she went to his house and found the neighbourhood skank wrapped around him she felt crushed.

She knew that he wasn't seeing anyone as he spent a lot of his free time with her, then again Darla wasn't the type to be monogamous, she was clearly there so he could get his fill; he wasn't getting it from her that was sure.

Wanting nothing more than to be alone she took the money she had stashed in the house and took a bus out of town. This week was the hardest of them all; she wanted to go back and be strong but today was make or break.

Just a little white lie she told to Giles, she said she would call her mother and that was true but not right away. The only person she wanted to see was Angel, but before that she had to come up with a plan of what she was going to say.

She had spent so much time keeping everything in that she felt like she was going to come apart, even in the hospital she kept it all back, she didn't want to tell strangers for them to judge her. She wanted out so she told them what they wanted to hear.

There were times when she was ready to spill her heart but choked at the last minute, she couldn't continue on that way. She was at bursting point and was terrified she'd end up without her freedom again.

Buffy was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the heavy footsteps or sharp intake of breath "Buffy?!" upon opening her eyes she craned her neck so she could look at the man she wanted to speak too. He looked haggard, lack of sleep and the beginning of a five o'clock shadow dulled his face.

He had been out of town that morning and was on his way back in, when he saw her small frame on the other side of the bridge he slammed on the brakes. So not to scare her, he made his way over slowly; praying that she wouldn't fall off the ledge.

"Buffy?" he could feel his hands shaking, he held back the urge to just grab her in case she struggled against him "What are you doing?" he watched as she looked around the scenery then down to the river 50ft below.

He took another step closer to her and extended his hand out "Take my hand, please?" his voice was cracking under the stress, he had been so worried about her, everyone had, this was the last place he would have expected to find her.

Angel forced back the bile that rose in his throat when she looked away from him and stood up on the ledge and began to shake his head "Buff… Buffy?!" he jumped closer to her, then closed his eyes with relief as she turned around and climbed back onto the ground.

Without saying anything he pulled her into his arms with an iron clad grip, he gripped onto the back of her head and inhaled her scent; after eight years it had yet to change. He closed his eyes and held her tight, not wanting to let her go.

He pulled back and ran his fingers through her hair to pull it away from her face, he was surprised to see that she wasn't upset or looked to be stressed, in fact she looked almost at peace; her green eyes were calm "What in the hell are you thinking?"

She could feel the anger work its way through his body, Buffy looked at him steadily "Can we talk?" all he done was nod; he slipped his arm around her waist and escorted her to his car. The drive back to his house was only filled by the chatter on the radio.

They both went into the living room and sat down side by side on the sofa, Angel kept his gaze on her face as she prepared herself to talk "I've been dealing with a lot, there are things that no one but my therapist knows…."

He waited for her to continue, she picked at the sleeve on her denim jacket and sighed "Today was meant to be special, I found out the day before the accident and today was my due date…" she looked at him to gauge his reaction, so far he was dumbstruck.

"Yes, a baby Angel, I was going to be a mom" she closed her eyes, after the accident the doctor told her the news that her pregnancy would not come to term, that she wasn't going to bring a child onto this earth – It was still painful.

What he pictured was a baby that looked just like her, a little girl with big green eyes and mousey blonde hair; the fact that this baby was with another man tore him up on the inside "Were you happy?" he didn't know what else to say, that crushing sensation hut his chest with massive force.

Buffy smiled "I was" she cleared her throat "I was happy that I was pregnant… but I was never sad that he died, does that make me a bad person?"

She could see the question in his eyes "I'm not sad he's dead, if he was still alive it would kill me knowing that I was tied to him for the rest of my life, upset me so much; I wanted out and that would stop me from making a clean break"

Angel frowned, a break, from what? "What do you mean?" he leaned back on the seat and took a deep breath, trying to force down the urge to throw up.

She closed her eyes "I thought I was in love with him but I wasn't, he knew that and used it against me… we were happy in the beginning" letting out a sigh she continued "after some time he stopped being the sweet country boy and changed"

Her body tensed "We would argue a lot, he would spend some nights away from home – I know he was sleeping with someone behind my back and when I said it was over he begged me to give him another chance which I did"

A tear rolled down her cheek "one night we argued real bad, I called him a weak man… to prove he wasn't he… he forced himself on me" the tears continued to fall "After he called me pathetic, he hurt me so bad that night"

Angel clenched his fist; if Riley wasn't already dead then he would have been on the way to torture him right now. Buffy stifled a sob "Doctors didn't notice his bruises because of the ones from the accident… I felt relieved when they told me he didn't make it"

"Everyone remembers him as sweet, good natured Riley who had the perfect life – I knew different; he was like a different man… I still have them you know, the divorce papers; that's what we argued about in the car"

He stretched his hand to get the blood flow back, thinking of what to say next "Why didn't you tell your mom? Or Willow?"

She frowned "I couldn't do that, smear his name… he wasn't around to defend himself, I know the way the people in this town talk. It would look like I was uncaring and horrible; I didn't want that… I was numb after what happened"

He watched as she looked to the ground almost as if lost in a memory, after a minute or so she pursed her lips then looked back at him.

"Everyone thinks that I broke down because I lost my husband, no, once the feeling came back, it hit me at once; that id spent years of my life with someone who didn't love me, treated me wrong and the only saving grace of our marriage wouldn't be born"

Buffy sobbed "I was so numb… I just want to feel again, don't I deserve happiness?"

Angel felt a lump rise in his throat, of course she did, she was the most caring, wonderful woman he had ever met; she deserved everything that she had ever wanted. He scooped her up and sat her on his lap as the tears took over.

Hushing her, he rocked them both gently to soothe her nerves. He laid his cheek on her head and not long after he felt her hair was damp which he realised was from his own tears; he had been crying with her, her pain had enveloped him.

He welcomed the pain with open arms, if he could suffer it all and allow her a moment of peace he would beg for it on his knees until it came true. She let out a heart wrenching cry the more she thought about what today could have been.

Angel gripped onto her tight in an attempt to calm her down, he murmured into her ear in a feeble attempt to focus her attention elsewhere but it was no use, she had started hyperventilating and became panicked, her eyes darting around the room.

She could see his lips moving, his warm brown eyes locked with hers but she couldn't hear what he was saying, everything was so muddled all she could pick up on was the sound of her own heavy breathing swimming in her ears.

He took her face gently in between the palms of his hands and held her bleary gaze "Buffy, breathe…" he inhaled and exhaled deeply, hoping that she would follow "breathe with me baby, breathe…"


	15. Chapter 14

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Thinking back to when she met him, he was charming and kind, he treated her like a princess, bought her things made her feel special; she truly thought she had finally found her everlasting love, the day they said I do was emotional.

That sweet, considerate man she had married looked after her always, it wasn't until she was asked to go for a weekend trip just to the beach with the girls she noticed that he looked a bit too hard. Instantly she was told no, that he was having his boss over for dinner and she had to cook.

She guessed it was down to the fact that the dinner was important for him and his career, so of course his little wife should play her role and be host and chef for the evening. It went from excuse to excuse as to why she wasn't allowed anywhere without him.

He on the other hand would go out, he would pat her on the head and tell her that she should do her household duties and prepare a meal for his return. The more he would go out the more condescending he would become.

She had found secret love notes sent to his email by an unknown female, she had questioned him with a level head just in case she was acting a little crazy. He had confessed his infidelity and cried that night, saying it was a mistake and he loved only her so she forgave him.

After that he went back to the man she had first met, she was granted more freedom with her friends to which she took full advantage of. Seeing her friends in a loving relationship where the idea of one of them spending a night out was welcomed with open arms made her rethink things.

Eventually the cracks began to show in his façade, he would snap when he spoke to her, slam his fist off the table as a means to an end of the conversation and even threw his dinner plate in her direction when she wanted a salad instead of a steak one night.

Speaking to Willow, who was her friend and close enough to be called a sister she had let her know of some of the problems, she didn't say what, just that they were having a rough patch and it would hopefully be over soon.

The first time he had struck her she shut herself off from everyone, locked the door and remained inside until the bruises had almost healed; some concealer could work its magic on them. Her mind then worked through what she must have done to deserve it.

She put on a brave face when Willow asked where she had been and what she had been doing; she lied and said that they had spent the days alone just wanting some quality time together. Whether she was being paranoid or not she could feel her friends eyes linger on the fading marks.

The arguments grew more physical and one night she poked her dainty finger into his chest to prove her point to which he grabbed her close then threw her with all of his power, sending her falling backwards and hard into the railing for the staircase; almost instantly causing a concussion, coming close to the brink of losing consciousness.

He looked at her with such cold eyes that she wanted to cower in fear, he shook his head at her then left for a night down at the bronze with the boys. Once the door slammed shut she pulled her knees to her chest and gripped onto the bump on her head, her face drenched in tears.

He came back the next day with a bouquet of flowers, telling her he just lost his temper and that it was a one off – of course he was explicit that it was her fault for trying to harm him and not just his fluctuating temperament.

She began to think that it WAS all her fault, she hadn't been able to maintain a relationship up until she met him, so it couldn't be entirely his fault. Whilst he was at work she had gone to the store and came back before breaking down in tears.

She had procured the divorce papers the night before and had stashed them so that he couldn't find them as she was sure he was going through her belongings when she wasn't around, she was waiting for the right moment to hand them over; now she had the best reason.

That simple bit of plastic that sat on her dresser told her what she had suspected, she was late, she had messed up on her birth control, she was with child. It should have scared her but didn't, being a mom was something she yearned for.

This baby would be the one good thing that would come from this disastrous relationship, she would have someone that truly loved her and she would love the baby. She discarded the test carefully then smiled for the first time in weeks.

Just like the previous times he had come from full of drink, the smell coming off him was strong and his bleary eyes struggled to hold a glare at her. Full of determination she began her well thought speech of how she was leaving him, the look in his eyes was full of surprise.

He had argued that one way or another she was stuck with him, till death do they part, she was his wife and wouldn't make a fool of him by leaving, she wasn't getting out that easily. She knew the instant when she called him weak that it was the wrong thing to do.

That night he subjected her to a horror she never thought he was capable of, once he was done he rolled off of her and fell asleep instantly. Dragging her bruised and bleeding body to the bathroom she huddled in the corner of the shower and cried for over an hour.

The next morning he had acted as if he hadn't forced himself on her the night before, he kissed her lovingly which she done her best to refuse then told her they were going out for breakfast. Even in his drunken state he knew that keeping her face untouched was a smart idea.

As he spoke of words of love as they drove she felt bile rise in her stomach, her aching hand clenched into a fist and she ground her teeth together; she wasn't letting what happened to her be the thing that stopped her from getting out.

"Riley, I want a divorce" his head whipped round to meet hers in abject horror, he argued that she could have a day or two alone to think about what she had done but there was no way in hell that she was walking out on him.

Finding courage she began to yell back at him for the first time, she was beyond just letting things lie and letting life pass her by. It was her time; she had to think not only about herself but about the baby that was nestled in her womb.

Riley had yelled something at her then darkness – her head was fuzzy as was her sight, she could hear the strangers voice, they were asking her name, what was sore and if she could move her legs and arms.

She had spent the full day in the hospital room, doctors had been in and out, she had been for scans, came back, left alone then her mother came to see her in a panic. After a brief talk with Joyce the doctors had asked for some privacy.

They hadn't mentioned anything about the bruises that he had inflicted, the crash took over, the wounds from that were greater than the man made ones. They had told her gently that her husband didn't make it to which she remained silent.

At first she was full of relief at not having to face him again, the next words out of the doctors mouth sent her crashing down, her baby hadn't - they knew that she was in the early stages of pregnancy as she had managed to tell the EMT en route to the hospital.

She begged them not to tell her mom, she didn't want anyone to know, the doctor was concerned at first but eased when she said that this loss would hurt them and didn't need to be intensified in any way.

Given the okay she was allowed home, Joyce had took her back to her own home, knowing that she couldn't be alone that evening to which she was thankful for. It took her two days to leave her old bedroom and venture outside.

When she came into contact with the people who knew her they would give her their condolences and ask if she needed anything; it took a lot not to break down in front of them. She still had a course of prescription painkillers that took the edge off.

The edge was needed when she would see happy couples push a pram past her with their baby, the look of love on their faces and the happiness at strolling with their offspring, it was all too much. In a haze from the pills she ran a bath and lit some candles.

Carefully she stepped into the tub and wrapped her arms around her knees, the warmth of the water helped to ease her still aching body and relax her weary muscles. The silence in the room eventually got to her, her mind that had been preoccupied was now clear.

It was clear as day, the events of that night, the argument and the aftermath of the crash came back to hit her at once; practically smashing her into the ground. Slowly she put her head in between her knees and under the water and paused.

The sound of the water against her ears took the silence away but didn't help; she let out a mighty screen underneath the water. Letting out all the hurt, all the pain, she screamed until her lungs gave out, burning from the act.

She whipped her head back once the water tried to gain entry and took a ragged breath, she stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her body then faced the mirror, looking at her reflection sickened her, she screamed again and rammed her fist through the medicine cabinet.

Blood was gushing out of the wounds on her knuckles and the cut dangerously close to the vein on her wrist; she held her hand up and inspected the wounds with detached fascination, like the hand she was looking at wasn't her own.

"Buffy?" as Dawn burst into the bathroom, concerned by the smash of something, she gasped in shock at the blood running down her sisters arm "Buffy are you okay?" her sisters vacant expression confused her, why wasn't she responding? "MOM!"

Buffy slowly walked out of the bathroom and down to her room, they had agreed to come back to her home thinking that it would help her but it didn't, when she looked at the bed she shared with him she picked up a photo frame and threw it at the wall.

Joyce came running upstairs to the panicked cry of her youngest then halted in her tracks at the blood trail that led her to Buffy "Buffy honey, what's wrong?" she didn't reply as she picked up one of his golf clubs and swung at the armoire, at the host of picture frames, at anything.

The pain in her right hand became too much and she let go of the club and crumpled into a heap on the floor. Joyce told Dawn to call an ambulance as she crept over to her other daughter; Buffy was cradling the injured arm to her chest as she let out a heart wrenching cry.

She placed her hand on her daughters shoulder unsure of what to do; she wanted so much to comfort her and didn't know how. Buffy curled up into a foetal position then cried until she lost her voice, by the time the Paramedics arrived she was silent.

They asked her how she was feeling and if her arm was still hurting, carefully they extracted the mirror fragment and bandaged up her hand so they could take her to the hospital. The senior paramedic flashed his light in her eyes and grew concerned by the lack of response.

Not to alarm her already upset mother and sister he said that they would have to take her into the hospital and keep her overnight, when Joyce mentioned that she had recently lost her husband he nodded; now he was fully concerned that this was done on purpose.

With the help of Dawn, Joyce managed to get a pair of pyjamas on Buffy so she could be taken to get her arm fixed "It'll be okay baby" she choked back a sob as she looked at her, Buffy had yet to move or even acknowledge anyone around her.

All Buffy done was stare at one spot, she didn't want to look at anything or anyone, nothing she could do would bring her baby back. She had nothing left to give.

When they arrived at the hospital they bypassed the ER and headed straight for the Psych Unit, Joyce questioned them to which they said that it was for the best. The last thing she seen that night was Buffy being pushed through the secure doors which were then locked to the public.

The paramedics made a futile attempt to get her to speak on the journey in, Joyce had seen the swift looks that they gave each other, seeing Buffy lying almost paralysed on the gurney, her eyes so dull and lifeless; she let out a sob and closed her eyes.


	16. Chapter 15

It took him at least five minutes to calm her down, once she was breathing easy her sobs had stopped; her face was stained with tears and that lost and lonely look took over her expression again "I should call your mom, she'll want to see you"

Buffy kept her head resting against his damp shirt "I can't face anyone tonight" her voice was barely above a whisper, with the house being heavy with silence he heard it clear as day "Can I, please?" she finally looked up at him with those big expressive eyes, he couldn't deny her.

"Okay, I'll call your mom to let her know you're here but of course, you can stay" he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled "I'll call in some food and you can take a bath, I've got some bath salts and candles… y'know"

She managed to giggle feebly, she knew that he was the get in get out type of guy and hated baths; her on the other hand could spend hours soaking away. Back when they were dating she had to do some convincing; which she won – he even admitted that he had enjoyed being with her in the tub.

"Thank you" she patted her hand over the damp spot on his shirt, it would need a good wash, it was marked with mascara too, she grimaced then looked back at him apologetically to which he only shrugged, she cupped his cheek with her hand "Thank you"

If she had to she would thank him repeatedly until she could speak no more, he had done so much for her already and had been just what she needed for today. The day had yet to end however she was still standing, she was still pulling through.

With unsteady legs she stood up then stumbled, Angel wrapped his arm around her waist and linked his fingers through hers "Steady" a blush crept up her neck at the blunder; she closed her eyes as he rubbed the small of her back "Go, go take a bath and I'll handle things"

Buffy nodded once then reluctantly pulled out of his embrace, she looked at him for a long moment then went upstairs and into the bathroom. Once she was out of sight he pulled off his shirt and threw it on the coffee table "Hey Joyce?"

He walked around the room aimlessly as he explained that he had found Buffy today and she'd spent the past hour or so with him; although he hated to deny her access to her daughter he told her how upset she was and needed some time to heal.

Joyce said she understood but wasn't happy and that he was under explicit orders to bring her over first thing in the morning – she remembered when she'd had the breakdown, how much it took out of her, she'd slept for days.

Angel ended the call and sat down heavily on the sofa, rubbing his face harshly. The stress of the past few days was catching up with him, taking a moment to compose himself he called a takeaway to get some food; not having the energy to cook for them.

"Angel?" he paced up to the bathroom thinking that something was wrong, Buffy poked her head out from behind the door and smiled sheepishly "I forgot to get a towel" he smiled back at her, relieved that nothing was wrong.

He retrieved a fluffy bath sheet from the closet and handed it to her, she disappeared for a moment then came out, wrapped neatly with her hair piled on top of her head "I don't think I'll have anything that fits but I can get a shirt for you?"

Buffy followed him into his room and watched as he raided his drawer for spare clothing; he pulled out a black silk shirt and handed it to her. She looked around his room in interest, the few times that she had been over – this room was never ventured into.

Angel watched as she took in every little detail, her eyes lingered on the bed and he cleared his throat "Uh, I can have the spare room set up, I've not had a chance to do it yet" he saw her nod lightly then head back to the bathroom to get changed.

When she came downstairs their food had arrived, he set out their plates and drink; both of them inhaling their meal. He looked across the table to see Buffy nod off, her eyes fought to stay open and she yawned loudly.

Without saying anything he scooped her up from the seat and took her upstairs, her arms looped his neck which she tightened her grip as she whispered "I… I don't want to be alone" the look she gave him was heartbreaking.

He wasn't sure it was a good idea; he wanted to say it was best that she sleep in the room down the hall but his mind had other plans. He kicked the bedroom door shut then placed her gently in the centre of the bed.

Slowly she crawled under the covers, leaving the corner peeled back. Angel kicked off his boots and pulled the jeans down his legs; usually he would sleep naked unless it was the dead of winter even then that was iffy – being rational he left his boxers on and slipped into bed.

Both of them lay rigidly still unsure of what would be considered as appropriate, Buffy shuffled onto her side to look at him "Angel?" he rolled onto his side to face her, her mind went blank; she wanted to say so much to him and nothing came.

"Yeah?" he reached out to run his knuckles over her cheek "Goodnight" he could tell by her face that goodnight wasn't what she wanted to say, he returned the sentiment before she rolled back over to face the wall – he closed his eyes and hoped that the sandman would find him without hesitation.

Oooooooooooooo

Before she had even had a chance to think, she knew that she'd had the best sleep in a long time and that she was incredibly comfortable. As she peeked open one eye she saw the dark sheets on the bed and an arm draped across her waist.

Her body tensed until her mind caught up with her, remembering that she had came back to Sunnydale, then spent the night crying all over Angel. Buffy closed her eyes and relaxed, being in his arms made her feel completely safe.

Not daring to move a muscle and disturb him she lay still just listening to his steady breathing. What she said yesterday to Giles, she meant it, the time she spent with him made her want to forget everything and to move on with her life.

The problem being that it had been eight years since they had last been together, had too much time passed? Had there been too many life events that had changed the both of them? Would it hurt the friendship they had built so far? She didn't know.

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't feel his arm tighten around her and pull her flush against his bare chest and her ass pressed against his groin. Angel mumbled something under his breath and gave her a shallow thrust.

She blushed when she felt his hardness through the thin material of his boxers then let out a soft moan when he nuzzled the back of her neck and thrust against her for the second time. It had been so long since she felt her body automatically respond.

In the last few months with Riley it was out of routine, not love that she would give herself to him; it was always for him and never for her. Feeling her body react to his closeness was something that she wasn't scared of; in fact she wouldn't mind at all.

His hand caressed her stomach before slipping up to cup her breast, she bit her lip in anticipation then frowned when his body stiffened "Buffy?" he pulled away from her, the sudden waft of cold air making her shiver.

She rolled over to face him, his face was heavy with sleep and he looked confused, he blinked his eyes to get rid of the sleep then focused on her flushed face "Buff… s-sorry" he tilted backwards to put some distance in between them "Sorry"

Having her body so close to his was electrifying, even in the depths of sleep it responded to her. When they were teenagers they had seldom spent a full night together, on the odd occasions that they did she had told him that he would wake her up with his hands wandering.

At first he was embarrassed that he'd felt her up when they were both fast asleep, she said she didn't mind; the embarrassment swiftly left the day he woke up to her with her mouth wrapped around his hardness, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Although it had crossed his mind that this was a possibility he had shrugged it off, thinking that he was now older and able to control his eager body. Apparently not.

Buffy closed her eyes letting the hurt wash over her by his rejection "It's okay" she felt the mattress shift under his weight as he climbed off the bed. When she finally looked over at him he was rubbing the back of his neck in agitation.

"I'm going to take a shower, uh… your mom wants to you over first thing… that's if you're ready too" he looked down at her, her bottom lip threatened to jut out, she looked almost sad. She took a breath then nodded as she sunk back into the bed.

Seeing her look every bit as beautiful as the day he met her, swamped in the duvet in his bed, made him want to crawl back in and show her how beautiful she was. Although she had admitted that she was leaving Riley, that didn't give him the right to claim her as his.

He gave her one last smile and left her alone, Buffy felt her lip wobble; she scrunched her eyes shut to regain composure, telling herself that she shouldn't cry that she should be strong and accept that he was her friend and that was it.

Once she heard the shower switch off, she grabbed a towel and scooted past him when he left the bathroom. Angel gave her a look as she locked the door, he sighed and grabbed his clothes to get dressed; he would have a strong coffee then take her back to her moms house.

He'd sunk his third mug of the tar like liquid by the time she had come downstairs, despite being freshly showered her face showed signs of crying; her eyes were puffy although it looked liked she'd done her best to hide it "Everything okay?"

Buffy nodded eagerly "Yeah, just been a long couple of days" her smile was verging on being artificial but he wasn't going to call her on it – if he pushed to far then she would more than likely flee. She poured a half mug of coffee then took a small sip.

Angel tapped his thumb on the table "Uh do you want breakfast… we'll have to go out, I've not been for groceries yet" he mentally berated himself for his poor planning skills, if he had food then they could spend some more time together – it looked like this morning's humiliation didn't extend to her.

"Thanks, but I should go see Mom…" she saw his face fall then swiftly recover, she wanted to spend more time with him but by the way he acted this morning made it clear that he wasn't interested in her like that, feeling slightly embarrassed that she thought he still would.

He only nodded as he grabbed his keys; she followed him in silence then looked out the window as the streets passed by then came face to face with her childhood home. The curtains twitched before her mom appeared on the porch.

Joyce pulled Buffy into a hug before letting her go so Dawn could hug her too, Angel rested upon his car watching the scene with a lump in his throat. Joyce came over to him and smiled "Thank you Angel"

The look he gave her read that she needn't apologise, it wasn't a hardship for him to look after; he would continue to look after her for as long as she let him. It tore him up on the inside that she was buried deep in his heart and that he would never have her that way again.

She turned back to face him shyly, her fingers extended into a wave as she mouthed 'thank you' to him, he smiled back at her lightly and waved too. They held a look for a long minute before Joyce called out to her, reluctantly she went inside.


	17. Chapter 16

**Thanks for the Reviews!**

 **Doing some cleaning on my laptop to free up some space I accidentally permanently deleted this (which was almost finished) and two other stories I was working on, I've managed to recover some files from all three stories but not all of it - worst mood possible at the moment. So please bare with me as i re-write as much as I can remember, updates will take longer to come now.  
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Sitting on her childhood bed she pulled her stuffed pig to her chest and closed her eyes, thankfully her mom and sister hadn't asked too many questions; they had shown that they cared but did not push the conversation and she was grateful.

It had been exhausting telling Angel what happened, it had to be done some time but she was glad she could tell someone other than Giles – although Joyce was always supportive she was unsure if now was the right time to let her know.

"Buffy" she opened her eyes to see her sister stand nervously at the door, Dawn smiled lightly before carefully making her way over to the bed, she sat down beside Buffy "I'm glad you're okay"

Buffy placed her hand on top of her sisters that rested on her lap, still feeling weak from all the talking she only smiled kindly. Dawn smiled back at her then pulled her into a tight hug "I've missed you, mom too… and I think Angel did, a lot… he was so worried"

Dawn nodded sharply "It must be nice, having him back in your life? I remember how upset you were, I'd never thought that you would become friends again" she tucked a stand of her sisters blond hair behind her ear "Angel's a good guy"

"Yeah, he is" Dawn gave her a squeeze then left her alone in the room, Buffy pulled her knees to her chest and rolled onto her side, wanting nothing more than to have a quick nap and hopefully feel better when she would wake up.

Oooooooooooooo

Not wanting to come across overbearing and annoying he let her be with her family and friends for a couple of days before he decided to go over to her house. It killed him to stay away; he wanted to be there for her but was unsure how she felt after that morning.

He knocked on the door and waited, her green eyes widened in surprise then her face flushed when she looked at the single flower he held in his hand "Angel" he tipped it towards her which she gratefully took and inhaled the delicate fragrance.

"I was wondering if you wanted to do something… that's if you weren't busy?" he could have kicked himself at the frozen look, of course she more than likely had plans, she had other people in her life besides him that she would spend time with.

Buffy cleared her throat "Uh that sounds good… what did you have in mind?" she stood back so he could enter the house. He followed her into the kitchen where she put the flower into a small vase with water.

Angel leaned his hip against the unit and shrugged, he wanted to do something with her but didn't have the capacity to come up with an idea before he arrived "Anything you want"

She toyed with the hem of her shirt in thought, she wanted to spend a day away from the house, since she'd been back she'd only been out once and that was only to take out the trash "well, I've not been to the bookstore in a while"

Buffy scrunched up her nose, she hadn't been to the bookstore in years, it was something that Riley said he would not go near, he had no interest in books unless it was a car magazine and even then it didn't count "…or whatever you want"

Angel shook his head and came over to her "No that sounds good… ready to go?" she gave him an eager smile as she grabbed her purse. He escorted her out to the car and set off for the large bookstore that was downtown.

When they came to stop at a red light he focused his gaze on her face, she was leaning towards the window letting the sun shine on her skin, a contented smile tugging at her lips; she was never more beautiful "Almost there"

She looked round to him slowly and nodded, although the drive to the store wasn't all that long, she had completely zoned out but in a good way. Just being in his company calmed her down; he de-stressed her and made her feel at ease.

Once they arrived he opened the car door for her like a gentleman then escorted her inside. He kept the conversation light, asking her how she'd been and what she was planning to do that weekend; at all costs he avoided her marriage and anything to do with a baby.

They walked up and down all the aisles before settling down with a coffee that the store sold, Buffy tucked her legs underneath her, forgetting that she wasn't at home; she blushed then sat properly on the sofa "Thank you"

Angel broke the piece of cake he had bought in half then handed her the bigger slice "It's no problem" he nodded at the plate for her to take the treat, she tried to be polite and refuse but it looked too good to pass up.

She picked at the cake greedily and licked her lips, Angel chuckled as he ate his own; he forgot how much of a sweet tooth she had, always denying herself the treats until it overwhelmed her – there were so many times that she ended up with chocolate smudged on her face when they were younger.

Buffy sat the plate down on the table then sipped at her coffee "Angel?" he looked over at her expectantly, she shifted in her seat to face him properly "I was wondering… I have an appointment with Giles next Thursday and…"

Giles had expressed multiple times that he would like her to bring a family member or a friend to one of her sessions, hopefully let her open up about her past and help her work through things. Due to the fact that he already knew some things, then he made the best sense.

Angel smiled kindly "Yes… I'll go with you, let me know what time and I'll clear my schedule"

Buffy shook her head "Oh I couldn't ask you to do that… only if you have some free time, you don't have to miss out on work for me" he raised his eyebrow at her, showing that she needn't worry, he'd do anything to help her.

Angel looked down to his watch and sighed "I'm sorry but I've got a meeting at five" time had flew past, he didn't realise how late in the day it was. When her face fell he wanted to call to cancel but knew that he couldn't do that.

They picked up their used dishes and sat them on the tray beside the cashier, Angel thrust his hands into his pockets as they walked back out to the car. The contented mood had been broken; he could see that she was trying to shut off from the outside world.

As the car pulled up outside of her house Angel switched the engine off then smiled "This meeting won't take long… if you want we can grab something to eat after it?" seeing her eyes glow brighter made him happy.

Buffy nodded "That would be nice" she felt her eyes dampen, so she blinked rapidly then let out a nervous chuckle "Sorry" her emotions were still over the place, she had came off of the medication that she was reliant on a few weeks ago but was still wound up.

Angel ran his thumb over her cheek lightly to calm her down "Its only for an hour… be ready just after six and I'll pick you up" Buffy closed her eyes as she leaned into his hand, what she wouldn't give to be in his arms again.

A look passed between them as they sat in silence, the side of his mouth came up into his trademark smirk that still could bring her to her knees. Buffy scrunched up her nose as she smiled then whispered 'bye' as she left the car.

Oooooooooooooo

For dinner they had opted to spend time at Angels and order from a fancy takeaway place, they had spent the night talking about his work then about the books that they had bought from the store, eventually Angel broke down and read from the book to cause her to snooze.

He hated that he'd have to wake her and take her home, her grumpy face told him this as well but they both knew it would make sense. He had walked her to the door and before he knew it he had placed a kiss on her cheek causing her to blush.

They had agreed to meet up early into the next week just to hang, it made him smile that she wanted to spend time with him and that she looked to be doing better than she had the week before.

It felt like they were teenagers again, constantly messaging each other then getting nerves as they went out on their 'dates', they had gone to the cinema and he even took her bowling – somewhere he hadn't actually been since he was a teenager.

If truth be told he was a little nervous about meeting Giles, he knew how important he was to Buffy; she had told him that she had grown to care for him in the months since she was admitted into the hospital and had helped her through some of the dark times.

He followed Buffy through the halls of the office then waited by the door as she went into his office, the older man smiled brightly as she shuffled into the office then shyly hugged his side "Buffy, so good to see you"

Giles looked down at her and hugged her tightly, his eyes then followed her to look at Angel who was standing by the door; he waved for him to enter and smiled kindly "Hello, you must be Angel, nice to finally meet you"

Angel shook his hand "Nice to meet you too Mr Giles" the older man chuckled then pulled his glasses off of his face to clean them before placing them back on "Oh just call me Giles, everyone else does… now how about we take a seat?"

They took a seat beside each other on the sofa but left a respectable foot of space in between them; Giles sat across from them on his own seat then flipped through his clipboard and made notes as he spoke to Buffy.

He could see that whenever he asked her a question that was coming from deep down her eyes would flicker around the room before landing on Angels warm gaze, she would take a moment then relax and answer him.

Not before long the pair and scooted closer to each other until their thighs were touching, Buffy had said more in this session than she had ever done before. Giles tapped his pen off of the paper "I know this will be difficult but can you answer this for me?"

Buffy chewed the inside of her lip, so far he had kept all his questions light and avoided some of the heavier aspects of her past; even when he originally had found things out he hadn't pushed; of course at that time she wasn't stable enough to answer them.

"That night… when Riley" he cleared his throat "Was that the night you decided that you would pursue a divorce?" he looked at the wash of emotion on her face then saw as she started to hyperventilate.

Feeling the change in her body language he immediately grabbed her hand and ran his thumb over the top of it in an attempt to calm her down – she had told him in as little words as she could about what happened before she was upset.

She looked down to her small shaking hand that was engulfed with his larger one, she'd never fully discussed what had happened that night, only telling the brief version; she'd yet to come to terms with what had happened.

"…It wasn't because he raped… me that I wanted the divorce, I mean that would have been the reason but no" she took a deep breath "I'd come to realise that he was controlling _everything_ , what I ate, who I spoke to… I was a prisoner"

Buffy held back the tears, not wanting to shed anymore over her past life; she'd spent too long wallowing over what had happened "I already had the divorce papers ready, I knew I was having his baby but I didn't tell him… I didn't want him to use that to keep me"

Giles sat back in his seat and watched as she controlled her emotions and held her head high "I was going to wait till that night to give them to him but then he was mocking me for what he done the night before, laughing at me and I blurted it out"

Angel shifted so he was looking at her, truthfully he was expecting her to break down like she had the last time but her determined face let him know that she wasn't going to let this defeat her "We argued, he lost control of the car… and the next thing I know I was in an ambulance"

Buffy stretched her back to crack it "Even if the accident never happened, I would have filed those papers, moved out and made sure that he wouldn't control my life or my baby's life" her heart panged, she'd wanted nothing more than to become a mom.

She pulled her hand out from Angel's warm grasp and smiled at him "If you'll both excuse me, I'll be back in a few minutes" both men watched as she left the room.

Giles cleared his throat and addressed Angel "I want to thank you… even if you haven't physically done anything, you've been an integral part in her recovery; before you came into the picture she would struggle to answer anything and relied heavily on her meds"

Angel remained quiet, personally he had noticed the improvements in her overall being, of course he hadn't seen her at her worst "…She also told me about how you two were involved, not that it is any of my business but to let you know she still cares a lot for you, more than you probably know"

He looked over to the older man, he knew that they were comfortable with each other, heading towards a close friendship that they had before he had left but he would never have imagined that she would care deeply for him.

Buffy came back into the room and smiled at the pair suspiciously, Angel looked shocked and Giles looked like he was behind something "What you two talking about?" Giles smiled kindly as he looked from Angel to Buffy "Oh Nothing"

She sat down beside Angel and slowly took his hand and wrapped it around hers, his eyes drifted from their linked fingers back to her face and smiled. Her curious green eyes got wider as he stared; he squeezed her hand then looked back at Giles.

The older man gave him a knowing look then cleared his throat as he scanned the notes to where they left off. When she tugged his hand to get his attention he looked back at her and half shrugged as he smiled.

Buffy eyed him carefully then smiled back wondering what they were up to.


	18. Chapter 17

**Thanks for reviewing!**

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After the session with Giles and Angel she felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, for the first time in a long time she felt strong. When her mind drifted back to Riley and even the baby she didn't get as upset.

The baby part still hurt a little but she knew that she would more than likely have another chance with someone she would love. She kept her head held high as she went to the mall by herself; she bought a full new set of clothes and shoes.

Her mind had been cleansed in a sense, refreshed; so now it was time to treat herself to shopping and a spa day. When she entered the salon one of the girls who had always been a bit of a bitch to her, tried to look down her nose but her newfound confidence shot her down.

Buffy read through a magazine as the stylist applied some highlights to her dull hair then waited on it developing; one of the articles was about how that one man from the friend zone could be a potential honey in your life "That's for sure"

Flinching, she looked around to see who had caught her speaking to herself, luckily no-one had. Reading through the drabble her mind automatically pictured Angel; sure they were close again, could say that they were friends but they had already gone there.

Would it be wise to dig up the past? As far as she was concerned their relationship had been perfect, each day was like the first moment that she realised she was in love. It broke her when he left, she knew she should have tried harder but she was only seventeen.

Being older now, being responsible for more than just a gig-a-pet, that she unfortunately sat on, she knew that she wouldn't let another chance slip from between her fingers; if by some freak chance that Angel was interested she wouldn't hold back.

Angel had driven her home that night from the appointment and had stayed over for dinner, although she wasn't a fantastic cook, she had managed to rustle up some burgers and a salad. They had talked a bit more about her past then had begun to talk about what she would do next.

Willow had come home and suggested that a night at the bronze would be good, get out of the house; have a dance and maybe a drink. Unease worked its way through her body at the thought of being out for the first time in over a year but the expectant look on his face chose the answer.

He had stayed till late that evening chatting with them both and when it came time for him to leave she escorted him to the door then stood on the porch chatting for another ten minutes. Eventually when her eyes were struggling to stay open he had kissed her cheek and wished her a good night.

Butterflies flapped away in her tummy but in a good way, her hair was freshly cut and coloured, she had a killer outfit; tonight would be the first night of her new attitude and improved life. Buffy made it home in time for some lunch then began the long task of getting ready.

Oooooooooooooo

Angel shrugged on his leather jacket then rechecked his hair in the mirror, never before had he been this anxious on a night out. Even when he was younger he was full of confidence, even a little cocky – this was different, things HAD changed.

Giles had opened his eyes, he knew that he still had feelings for her, hell the feelings he had never went away; all his past relationships were just to pass the time, try and make it look like he wasn't pining for his first love; in the end it didn't work.

That night he spent with her he picked up on the subtle signs that she cared for him more than just as a friend, each light touch, the way her smile got wider or as she blushed when he would say something sweet to her; she liked him and he loved it.

Before he came back and found out about what had happened he said he would settle as her friend, being a friend of Buffy's was better than nothing at all – if there was a chance for them to start afresh; rekindle their romance; he would give it his all.

The girls said they would be at the bronze for around eight which in realistic terms meant they would should up closer to nine, by the time he had reached the Bronze, as suspected he could only see Oz and Xander at the table.

He greeted his old friends and grabbed a drink as they got to talking; he was very thankful that they had all slipped back into their old habits and felt as if there hadn't been an eight year gap in their friendship.

As soon as she walked through the door he knew that she was there, it was like a warm tingle up his spin; he turned round to face her and his mouth dropped open. His eyes ran from the heeled sandals up her shapely legs and over the body hugging strapless dress then up to her face.

She smiled widely and done courtesy, he gulped audibly then smiled widely. She was beautiful, her hair was sun kissed and bouncing around her shoulders and she had the biggest smile on her face that he hadn't seen in such a long time.

"Well? What do you think of my dress?" she picked an imaginary piece of lint off of the bust of the dress then smoothed her hands over her stomach. She was there to impress and by the dumbstruck look on his face she was successful.

He ran his hand over the back of his neck and grinned "You look beautiful" she blushed from his words and looked to the ground "Come, I'll get you a drink" he tipped her chin up with his forefinger and thumb to look into her eyes.

All she could do was nod, now it was her turn to be struck silent. Just like always he was looking like a complete honey; the dark pants and dark shirt complemented him well – his trademark spiked hair was still as lush as ever.

As they walked to the bar their hands brushed off of each others, giving them both a thrill, like they were doing something they shouldn't be doing. Angel flagged down the barman and asked for a whiskey, Buffy pursed her lips together in thought then asked for the same.

She took a small sip of the amber liquid then grimaced at the taste, she hadn't touched alcohol in years; it was something that Riley didn't approve of but now she was free – she could do what she wanted, of course drinking this slow, it was helluva strong.

Angel smiled at the face she pulled as she took a sip then downed the contents of his glass and ordered another. They made their way back to the table to join their friends, although they had joined in on the conversation; they couldn't help but look at each other.

At one point Willow had begged her to go up on the dance floor with her saying that it would be fun, reluctantly she followed the red head and began to shift uncomfortably. Willow shook her hips excitedly and grinned at her friend "So… Angel?"

Rookie mistake of looking at him, he caught her glance and raised his eyebrow at her; she flashed him a smile then looked back at Will "Yeah?"

Willow gave her a knowing look "Come on Buffy, you've been making googly eyes at each other all night – do you feel any spark-age?" she had met Oz and subsequently Buffy a few months after he had left but Oz had filled her in when one night Buffy had cried her heart out.

Buffy shrugged lightly, she definitely felt something; before his demeanour was that of a friend – in the past couple of days it had shifted, it felt like he was more open to her and was watching her every move with fascination.

"I think it would be good, I've not known him long but he seems like a good guy" they shifted in their position on the dance floor so that Buffy could look at him with ease, she bit her lip as her eyes ran over him as he laughed at something Oz had said.

"Yeah, he's the best" he looked over at her with that half smirk of his causing her knees to go weak, she looked back at Willow and nodded "I'd like something to happen… we haven't talked a lot about how things ended… if he's still interested in me that way"

Willow chuckled "Buffy it's obvious that he feels something – I mean he wouldn't have been there for you the way he has, that's only something that someone would do if they had feelings for you!"

Buffy nodded slowly, that was true, either he had feelings for her or he was an idiot; Willow looked past her in awe then grinned as Angel came up from behind and slid hand over her stomach "Mind if I cut in?" Willow shook her head then scampered off.

Angel pulled her flush against him "Having a good time?" Buffy nodded then turned around in his arms to smile at him "Yeah" her breath caught in her throat as she looked into his chocolate eyes, it was the same look he always gave her when he told her how much she meant to him.

Due to the volume of the music in the club they were dancing close to each other, close enough that their others body heat kept them comfortably warm "Angel, I want to thank you so much for what you've done…"

He shook his head and smiled down at her "You don't have to thank me, this was all you, you wouldn't have done this if you didn't believe in yourself" she flushed again and looked to the ground with embarrassment.

Buffy took a deep breath to steady her nerves, it was now or never "It was you Angel, you are the one thing in my life that made sense, made me feel like I wasn't lost or was truly pathetic…" she blinked back the damp in her eyes as she looked at him.

Angel cupped her face with the palm of his hand - that was more than he needed to know and it made his heart swell that she was open to the idea of him being in her life "I'm always going to be here for you, you're smart and beautiful"

The song in the club changed tempo, he took the opportunity to slip his other arm around her waist to which she immediately wrapped her arms around his neck. They swayed to the beat of the song, the words washing over them.  
 _  
Nights in White Satin  
Never reaching the end  
Letters I've written  
Never meaning to send_

 _Beauty I've always missed  
With these eyes before  
Just what the truth is  
I can't say any more_

' _Cause I love you  
Yes I Love you  
Oh how I love you  
Oh how I love you_

The moment he took her back in his arms, the look in her wide jade eyes and the blush the spread over her cheeks – he felt it all rush back, the first moment he realised that he was in love with her, that same giddy feeling hut him like a truck.

He ran his thumb over her pouty lips; wasting no more time he leaned down to kiss her. Buffy reached up on her tip toes to get closer to him; she sighed against him then swiped her tongue against his as it entered her mouth.

Buffy melted against his body, loving the feel of being in his embrace. One of her hands went to his cheek to caress him softly and the other went to his hair, her fingers winding in his unruly locks pulling him down to meet her.

Angel pulled her flush against his body then tightened his grip as his arm circled her waist to keep her close.

Time stood still, all the people, the sound, the smell of the alcohol all went away when their lips touched. He had missed her beauty, and deep down, the truth was that even though they had been apart for many years it still didn't diminish her beauty or his love for her.

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 ***Nights in White Satin by The Moody Blues, love that song.**


	19. Chapter 18

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"And how are we this morning?"

Buffy slid a packet of painkillers across the table and smirked at the look that Willow had on her face, she was wrapped up in her house robe and her hair was a mess. Willow grumbled thanks then popped two pills and downed them with water.

Taking a deep breath she smiled wearily "I think I had one too many glasses of wine" Buffy chuckled, surprisingly she was doing okay, considering she had a good few drinks for the first time in years she was fresh as a daisy.

Taking a sip of her coffee Buffy shuffled back onto the chair to get comfortable, she looked over at her friend and tipped her head "What?" the look on Willows face, despite being hung-over was one full of glee.

"So… give me all the details! And don't spare anything!" she wiggled her eyebrows then laughed when Buffy shrugged "Oh come on, we all saw what happened with you and Angel… he couldn't keep his hands off you!"

Buffy blushed profusely, she was never one for large amounts of PDA and last night they had given them quite a bit of a display. When she thought back to her kiss she smiled widely, it was perfect.

They had kissed for long minutes before he kissed her softly and smiled down at her; he linked his fingers through hers and escorted her back to the table. Thankfully none of their friends mentioned their kiss; they kept talking as if they hadn't noticed the lip lock.

"Willow!" she looked down to the table and smiled again, when they were sitting with their friends he had his arm resting on the booth behind her, occasionally she would feel his thumb rub circles on her skin causing her to bite her lip.

When it came to eleven o'clock she wanted to call it a night, she was having fun but it had been a long day for her, Angel retrieved her jacket then escorted her home. With it being a nice night they decided to walk instead of getting a cab.

The red head poured herself a coffee then took a large gulp as she sat back down across from her friend "So what happened? You two left together and either he left early this morning or you're hiding him upstairs"

Buffy swiped at her hand playfully and laughed, when they got to her door they had talked for half an hour before she yawned loudly, her eyes barely able to stay open. Angel smirked at her sleepy face then leaned down to kiss her deeply.

"Nothing!" when Will quirked an eyebrow at her she quirked hers right back "We came home, we talked and he kissed me before saying goodnight… it was nice" that was true, it was a nice kiss – better than nice.

Willow nodded softly "Did you want something else to happen?" she had seen the looks that were exchanged and knew that both of them felt the same way about each other. It made her smile that Buffy looked to be doing better lately.

"Well, I uh, I don't know… I mean it was a GOOD kiss, it made me feel all tingly" she smiled contentedly then looked back at Willow "We only kissed… I mean it would be nice but it's not like we got a chance to talk about us last night… about what could happen"

She only shrugged then took a drink of her coffee, Willow nodded and followed suit; when she placed the mug back on the table she ran her hand over her face "Well I'll be going back to bed… What are you doing today?"

Buffy's face lit up and she smiled bashfully "I have a date with Angel" both of the girls let out an excited squeal like they were teens again. She looked at the clock on the wall and smiled again, it was almost time to get ready to meet him.

Willow gripped her hand tightly and gave her a look; Buffy gripped her hand back and smiled thankfully at her friend. Without saying anything she got up from the seat and practically skipped her way to the bathroom.

Oooooooooooooo

Angel rubbed his temples and groaned he had been in since 6am and worked non-stop which was now causing a migraine to pound behind his eyes "Hey Boss, do you want to grab some lunch?" he rolled his eyes then looked up at her.

"No thanks Harm, I'm just going to work through this and head out early" her eyes narrowed slightly before she smirked and ran her tongue over her sparkling white teeth, she tipped her head to the side and pouted.

"Oh Boss, surely you won't leave me to eat lunch by my lonesome? Come on… we can head out to the diner; just the two of us huh?" she whined then pouted even further.

In general he was a sociable person, he got along with most people he met – got along quite well with a lot of people in this office, Harmony Kendall however, he didn't. Why some girls thought that acting like an insipid moron was a turn on, he never knew.

Her cool blue eyes ran over him making him squirm, not that he didn't mind the odd bit of attention, it done wonders for his ego but most other woman usually gave up when he declined their attempts the first time; this was bordering on harassment.

He couldn't tell whether or not if Harmony was actually an idiot or if she just pretended to be, whenever he would overhear her speaking to their other colleagues she sounded almost normal. Whenever she spoke to him the decibels got higher.

Looking at him she couldn't deny that she wanted a piece of him, his dark bedroom eyes and that smile that brought her to her knees; she wanted him and that was it. It irked her that he showed no interest, he was single as far as she believed.

Not hindered by the decline she swayed her hips from side to side then stopped behind him, he felt her hands knead the muscles in his shoulders before feeling her lips against his ear "You feel tense Boss, that's not good… try to relax"

Harmony smiled then dug her thumbs in deep, she felt him shift in his seat then worked her hands lower, her exceptionally long manicured nails plucked at the buttons on his shirt until the top of his chest was visible.

Angel stiffened when her hand slipped under his shirt then scratched teasingly at his chest "Harm…"

Her long blonde hair swished over his shoulder as she leaned over so that her cleavage was in line with his face, he glared up at her and she smirked.

"Hey Angel… I thought I would stop by and bring you some lun…" the pair of them faced the door to his office, seeing Buffy at the entrance he sat up straight and pushed back. Harmony ran her finger tip over the top of his arm then shot Buffy a look.

The blonde that was draped over him a moment ago sneered at her then smiled sweetly at Angel "Anything else I can do for you, boss?" she pushed her arms against her body to push her chest out; which was already spilling out of the low cut shirt.

Angel kept his gaze on Buffy, he could see her try to keep a smile on her face but he knew that she wasn't happy "That's All" on the way past Harmony eyed Buffy up then snorted softly as she shut over the door to the office.

Once they were finally alone he stood up and smiled kindly "You shouldn't have troubled yourself"

Buffy gripped onto the bag that had the homemade lunch inside, Angel had complained a few times that whenever his work mates would get lunch it would be something unhealthy so she thought she would surprise him and bring him something nice.

Trouble herself? It was no trouble at all, not as if she had anything to do – it looked like she was causing trouble, feeling insecure compared to the pretty blonde she now felt stupid, who knows what would have happened if she hadn't of interrupted.

She licked her lips to alleviate their dryness then looked to the ground, he got up from his seat and came over to her and took the bag from her hands and sat it on the table. As she turned to leave she felt his arms wrap around her waist and pulled her against his chest.

"Thank you" she turned her head to face him, he leaned over and kissed her gently. Reluctantly she smiled and shrugged. Angel twined his fingers through hers and led her behind the desk; he sat on his leather chair then pulled Buffy down on his lap.

He reached around her and pulled the bag over to get his lunch and dug in, after a few bites he held the fork out to her. Buffy smiled when he nodded insistently then daintily took a bite of the salad; slowly she relaxed against his body.

It was hard to stay sad or mad at him, sitting on his lap and sharing his lunch felt strangely intimate and she liked it. Surely if something was happening with the other woman he would just have dismissed her then shared the lunch with her?

Once he was finished with the salad he closed over the box and slipped it back inside the bag, he shifted his thighs causing her to slide backwards; immediately his arm pulled her back against him securely "How has your day been?"

She shrugged lightly and smiled at him "Fine" he ran his fingers over her ribs softly causing her to shimmy on his lap. Angel closed his eyes for a moment then smiled back at her, his fingers tracing her jaw line lightly "You okay?"

Buffy bit her lip, even though she was in his arms she still felt jealous, she didn't want to be a nagging shrew, she didn't have any claim on him either but she thought that things had changed between them "Angel… who is she?"

She nodded towards the door that Harm had left through earlier, Angel sighed and tipped his head to the side "She's a pain in my ass" when her eyes widened at his cuss he smiled "Harmony is one of the secretaries here, who is annoying and persistent"

Angel twined his fingers through hers and brought her hand up to his mouth to place a kiss on the top before placing it back down "Don't worry about her, if I could get rid of her without any reason I would" he sighed, he would love nothing more than to do so but couldn't.

Buffy nodded slowly then looked down to her hands in her lap; tightening his arm around her he leaned down and kissed her languidly. Her lashes fluttered opened to see his warm gaze on her face "Thank you for bringing me lunch, I appreciate it"

Angel smiled again then ran his knuckles over her cheek softly; Buffy blushed then laid her head on his shoulder to get comfortable after a pause he ran his hand over her thigh "I was thinking of picking up a movie and a bottle of wine if you want to come over tonight?"

She smiled against his chest then slid her hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze "Sure" he kissed the top of her head then sighed contentedly, Rather than rushing back to his work he closed his eyes and held her tight, enjoying having her here.


	20. Chapter 19

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They had spent the past three weeks going out on dates, her showing up at his work and him surprising her at home during his longer lunch breaks; each time they spent together strengthened their feelings towards each other.

She had seen Harmony at the office and sometimes saw her at the mall, the blonde bimbo always sneered at her or acted extra sweet to Angel in front of her; the look he gave her was one of indifference, her worries hadn't came back.

One thing she was unsure of was if they were casually dating or if they had resumed their former relationship, it felt like they had but they hadn't discussed that. They shared kisses and a lot of them but it never went further than that which she was unsure how she felt about that too.

"How are things with Angel, honey?" she looked over to her mother and smiled, Joyce sliced some fruit then popped it in a bowl and handed to her, she picked a piece of apple and took a bite "Good… he's taking me out for dinner tonight"

Joyce smiled excitedly "Oh, anywhere special?" Buffy shrugged as she ate more fruit, Joyce wiped her hands on a towel then scrunched her nose in thought "I saw Mr Giles yesterday… he said you've been to a lot more therapy than before"

It confused her, her daughter was doing so much better, she didn't rely on any medication, she could venture outside by herself without panicking; she thought that she was doing okay. Buffy nodded "Yeah, He said I can cut down the sessions but I like talking to him"

A thought came to her "Say mom, Giles is kind and caring; he's smart and single…" she raised an eyebrow at what she was implying. Joyce gasped "Buffy, are you trying to set me up with him?" Giles was a nice man to speak to, that was true.

Buffy giggled "If you want to be set up I can… mom, you've done so much for Dawn and especially me in this past year, I know you've declined dates, I want to make it up to you" she looked at her mom seriously then nodded.

Joyce closed her eyes and nodded, it had been a while since any man showed some sort of interest in her; some of them were a waste of time, they liked her and held promises until they heard that she would take care of Buffy, then they flew away like a bat out of hell.

"Great! I'm seeing him later, I'll give him your number to call" she finished off the bowl of fruit then kissed Joyce on the cheek "Thanks mom" she grabbed her purse then headed out.

Oooooooooooooo

She lay down on the large sofa and crossed her ankles that lay at the edge, Giles cleared his throat then shook his head, she hardly ever listened to him anyway so reprimanding her for her un-lady like behaviour would be of no use.

"What would you like to talk about today? It'll have to be brief, as you didn't book in with me, I have another client in shortly" he opened up her file and took out the notes from the last time she had attended, skimming over them quickly.

Buffy smiled nervously, she couldn't believe she was going to bring this up to Giles of all people "Well, me and Angel, I think we're dating" when he raised his eyebrow she continued "we go on dates, we've kissed but nothing more… has happened"

Giles nodded then he thought about what she said and almost blushed "And do you want to be intimate with him?" Buffy was like his daughter, not having any children of his own he fortunately didn't have to discuss such matters.

She shrugged then sat up and crossed her legs underneath her "It's just, the first time we were together we moved a with a bit more speed?" she had shunned all forms of intimate contact for months but each time he kissed her it brought her defences down.

"Although you and Angel have a past, you have to think of this as something new… if you didn't share memories with him, would you be asking me this?" he saw her eyes dart around the room then focus on her legs as she shook her head.

"It's not my place to tell you what to do Buffy, just follow your heart, if you think it's right then I can't tell you otherwise, you do share a past and maybe he wants to take it slow because of all you've been through… he hasn't pushed, has he?"

She looked at him in shock "NO! He's so caring and attentive; he would never do anything to hurt me" that was true, he certainly wouldn't. She wanted to speak to Giles just to reconfirm her feelings; she knew that it was her choice alone.

After sitting in silence for a moment she sighed and stood up, smoothing down her rumpled clothes "Thanks for being here Giles" she took a pen from his desk and scribbled before handing him the note "This is my mom's number, I'd like you to give her a call"

He looked at the writing then back at her "I have your mothers number on file… what would she like to discuss with me?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and chuckled "No you dummy, to ask her out on a date! God knows you need one, it's been a while since you've been out hasn't it?" Giles blushed at her suggestion then took his glasses off to clean the lenses quickly.

"Buffy! I don't think that's appropriate" before he could say anything further she smiled kindly "Look, you two get on well from what I've seen… and after today, I'll no longer be your patient, so no inappropriateness here"

Giles looked up at her in shock, although he found it strange that she had upped their appointments he didn't think that she would stop the course so sudden "Oh, uh" his mouth opened and closed like a fish then he chuckled.

"You have done wonderfully Buffy, you know if you ever need to speak to anyone I'll always be here for you…" he stood awkwardly as she gave him a tight hug then nodded and patted her on the shoulder.

"So you'll call my mom?" she smiled sweetly at him then punched his shoulder when he shrugged and smiled "Good, we'll I'll see you soon G-man" she waved one last time at him then left his office to prepare for that evening.

Oooooooooooooo

Having gone on a body and soul reboot, she dressed with the baby pink dress that she had picked up from the mall. She looked at her reflection and smiled, spending more time outside she had the familiar bronze glow to her skin and looked healthy for the first time in a while.

When she had been spring cleaning her room she came across the antique jewellery box that she thought she had lost years ago. There were earrings, bracelets and necklaces inside that she hadn't seen since she was a teenager; when her fingers touched that band her heart clenched.

Deep down she knew that she would have never thrown it out, she had hid it from Riley, he'd been told the story of how she got it and wasn't amused; told her flat out to get rid of it, that it wasn't allowed in their home – to find it was relieving.

Looking down at the Claddagh that Angel had given her on their six month anniversary she felt overcome with emotions. What the ring symbolised was true of them; she always believed that; even the elegant engagement ring that was presented to her didn't hold a candle to it.

Buffy threaded the ring through her necklace and tucked it inside her dress; she didn't want to be too presumptuous and put it on, she wanted to discuss what was happening with them then broach the subject.

Willow hollered that he had arrived; taking one last look and reapplying her lipstick she headed downstairs to meet him. Once again the look on her face told her that she had made a good choice, he let out a silent chuckle then grinned at her.

Angel walked over to her when she reached the bottom step, he leaned over to kiss her briefly "Buffy, you look beautiful" he handed her the bouquet of flowers he had brought with him which thanked him for.

Quickly she went to the kitchen and placed them in a vase before being escorted to his car. Throughout the journey he refused to tell her where they were going, told her that she was being impatient and should wait a little longer.

Her mouth dropped open when he pulled up outside the little bistro outside of town, the place that they had went on their anniversary all those years ago. It made her heart flutter that first she had found his gift and by a freak coincidence this was where they would be eating.

"Angel?" she looked to him with tears in her eyes, this was a place that was off limits; she had never ventured since that night. He only shrugged then brought her hand to his mouth to kiss it "good food?"

Buffy giggled then got out of the car; like they had done years ago he escorted her to their private booth by the fireplace then put in an order for their meals. She looked around the interior then back at Angel "This place hasn't changed"

"Yeah, still just as beautiful as all those years ago" she flushed under his warm gaze, the compliment hitting its mark. Buffy bit her lip then took a sip of the wine that had been placed in front of her, that long lost tingle travelling up her spine.

Angel smirked as she squirmed in her seat then dug into the food that was just served, she exhaled sharply as she calmed down her nerves and fixed a faux annoyed look on her face; getting compliments lately helped her regain her confidence.

Giving her a break he switched the topic of conversation to something lighter, she had mentioned that she was unsure if she wanted to find another job and what to study in College, she had dropped out during first year at college after the Parker incident.

It was nice to see that she was getting back on the horse and taking hold of her life again, she had been the dutiful housewife for years then had spent almost a year shutting herself off from the outside world.

Buffy slapped the napkin off the table then rubbed her tummy in delight, she had began eating healthier lately but never as much food as she had just consumed, it was a change and it was good – the food was delicious.

Angel left the money on the table in the leather-bound book then took her hand as they walked back to the car, Buffy pressed her side against his to keep the chill away from her; automatically he wrapped his arm around her waist so she could get closer.

"It's still early, do you want to come back to mine for coffee?" she peered up at him from her position nestled against his side and smiled "Yeah, that sounds good" he nodded once then opened the passenger side door, letting her in.

He drove back to his house in record time without breaking any speed limits then escorted her inside; Buffy took off her heels then curled up on the sofa in wait for him to return. Angel came back in a few minutes later and handed her a mug.

"Thanks" she smiled up at him then scooted over to let him sit beside her on the sofa, they got comfortable as he switched the TV on and put a movie on for them to watch. Once she'd drained the mug she placed it on the table then laid her head against his shoulder.

Like earlier he wrapped his arm around her, bringing her further against his chest "Hmm" Angel laid his cheek against the top of her head, she had mumbled something that he couldn't make out.

Buffy turned so she could face him properly "You know that I couldn't be more grateful that you're in my life again?" he nodded once then gave her a look, wondering where this could be leading "It got me thinking and uh…"

She ran her hand over the back of her neck then giggled nervously "I want to be honest with you… Riley knew I didn't love him, he knew it was because I still… I still had feelings" she looked him dead in the eye, it was now or never.

"I still _have_ feelings… for you…" she pursed her lips together then quickly added "I never forgot you" she pulled out the necklace to show him the ring that was dangling at the bottom.

Angel looked from the ring back to her glittering green eyes, his breath caught in his throat, everything that he wanted, everything that he hoped he could get, could become a reality instead of a fantasy.

Buffy shifted with unease as he evaluated the ring then looked back at her face, for once his eyes gave away nothing, his face gave away nothing all she could feel was the muscles in his body tighten. She held back a sob "Oh God"

Feeling embarrassed by the admission she made a move to get as far away from him as possible. Seeing that she misread his silence he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her over, her legs falling either side of his lap.

Her pouty lips fell open in shock by the sudden shift; he leaned over to press his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened, he let go of her waist so that his hands could wander her body.

She arched against him in surprise when his cool hand palmed her ass; she decided when getting dressed earlier to slip on a thong, one of her new me, new clothes idea. It turned out to be a good idea after all.

They both let out a lusty chuckle as she broke the kiss, her lips hovered over his as her fingers worked on the buttons of his shirt. Angel bit back the urge to rip her clothes off and plunge deep inside; he didn't want to rush anything "Buff"

She sat back on his lap to look at him, she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was shutting this down, she shook her head slowly "No, I want this… you want this" she could feel how much he wanted this as it was pressed against her a moment ago.

Angel pulled her hands away from unbuttoning his shirt and sighed "I don't want…" feeling annoyed by his dismissal she grabbed his face so he couldn't look away "You don't want this? You don't want… us?"

Her voice started to crack as the emotion took over "Angel, I've spent so long being upset and letting life pass me by, I'm done being passive, I want this… I want you and if you want me too you have to tell me now, I can't get attached just to lose you all over again"

Her big doe eyes glazed over with unshed tears as she stared into the molten pools of chocolate of his own, she stayed silent, letting her eyes express how much he meant to her and hoping that this wasn't going to blow up in her face.


	21. Chapter 20

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Her lower lip stuck out the longer he remained silent making her look so damned adorable; he leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, his hands gripping on to her hips.

Buffy moaned against his mouth then arched against his body, one hand slid back down underneath her dress to cup her ass and the other on the small of her back. She tipped her head to the side as his tongue and lips trailed down her neck.

Angel smirked against her skin when she let out a breathy moan then nipped her throat gently; his fingers slipped under the material of her thong as he gripped her cheek. When she sighed his name he gripped her again and brought her down on his lap.

Her fingers framed his face to bring his attention back to her, his eyes had blackened out just like she remembered and it thrilled her "Buff, we don't have to rush…" it made her smile that he was always thinking of her – but she didn't want to wait any more.

If he was honest he was beyond the point of no return the moment she was in his lap, it would have been extremely difficult to pull away. She raised her eyebrow and smirked, she didn't have to say anything to him, all she done was pull his shirt over his head.

Angel gripped the bottom of her dress then pulled it over her head and threw it on the floor, his hands slid up her body to cup her breasts that were now bare. She pressed further into his hand then bit her lip when he pinched her nipples.

Buffy squeaked in surprise when he wrapped his arm around her waist and stood up before laying her across the sofa where he had just been sitting. His fingers hooked onto the side of her panties and pulled them off of her "You are beautiful…"

He ran his fingers over her ankle then threw her leg over his shoulder before running his tongue over her teasingly "Oh god!" Buffy closed her eyes and arched her back, it had been so long since she found herself this turned on and already it surpassed everything in her marriage.

A smile fell across her face, not just from the immense feelings that Angel was igniting in her but also from the fact that at one time she felt she would never have this again – that feeling of being cared for, being treated as if she was the most precious thing in the world.

He was treating her both with the utmost care and with wild abandon at the same time; that was something that she loved about being intimate with him and was appreciating the fact that it hadn't changed, if even it got better with age.

Slipping two fingers inside, his talented tongue continued its onslaught on her vulnerable skin; Buffy moaned loudly then bit her lip the moment her leg started to twitch from his ministrations. He quickened his pace until she screamed his name then brought her down from her explosive orgasm.

"Wow" feeling like her bones had turned to mush she lay on the sofa panting heavily, blinking her eyes to get rid of the spots that she was seeing. Just like the first time he had went down on her it had pretty much knocked her flat.

Looking down at her flushed face he felt his insides twitch, she was just as beautiful as way back when, the image of her at the pinnacle of orgasm was burned into his memory; seeing it firsthand made him even harder.

Pushing herself up and onto her elbows she tipped her head for him to come close, like a deadly predator he crawled up her body and took her mouth in a searing kiss. Using the little strength she had left she tugged on his jeans so that he could shimmy out of them.

Looking down between their bodies she saw how hard he was which sent a thrill through her body, as he kissed along her neck she gripped on to him and stroked him a few times before bringing him to her body.

Rubbing against her, he took her into another toe curling kiss "Buffy" knowing how she was treated previously he wanted this all to be for her. When she looked into his eyes he took that moment to thrust deep inside of her and groaned.

Her breath caught in her throat at the intrusion but she didn't have to long to think over it as he began to thrust slowly. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him into another kiss, once he picked up the pace she wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him deeper inside.

Groaning against her neck at the change in angle he picked her up swiftly then sat down, she braced her knees on the sofa either side of his thighs then blushed. Throughout the years she was used to being submissive and lying there, now he was putting her in control.

Angel kissed her teasingly before making his way down her neck then latching on to her nipple, she gripped onto the back of his head and closed her eyes as he moved to the other one. Sensing her nerves his hands moulded her hips to assist her in riding him smoothly, he murmured her name against her neck before biting down.

Knowing he wouldn't last much longer, his thumb worked on her in sync with his thrusts and as she slammed down on him. Buffy screamed loudly as she came, her back arching violently; thrusting twice more he shot his come deep inside of her then fell back against the sofa.

Buffy closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest, all of her thoughts were muddled, the only thing she could concentrate on was the deep rise and fall of his chest. He tightened his arms around her then kissed the top of her head, having the exact same feelings.

After a few moments she nuzzled her head against his damp chest and smiled, Angel ran his fingers through her hair the tipped her head to look at her. The lazy smile on her face was something he loved; he pressed his lips to her for a moment before she got off of him carefully.

His eyes locked with hers as she reached out for his hand; silently he linked his fingers with hers and let her lead him up to the bedroom. Although he would love nothing more than to continue where they had left off, when she snuggled into his side and yawned loudly he smiled and pulled her tighter against his body.

They lay in each other's arms, her fingertip drawing patterns on his chest until she had fallen asleep, once her breathing evened out he turned his head to watch her sleep. He watched her sleep for a long time before eventually falling asleep himself.

Oooooooooooooo

Angel shut the door over quietly then made his way into the kitchen, Buffy was looking through the College syllabus and Willow was discussing what classes she had took. Not long after her session with Giles she stated that she wanted to go back to study.

Seeing her excited about picking classes and wanting to get back on with her life was nice, the deadline was Friday so that she could be accepted into the fall admissions so it had been panic stations to finalise her choices.

He had been out of town on business for a few days and couldn't wait to get back to Buffy, hearing how happy she was when they called each other was good but he would rather be with her in person.

"Hey" they both faced him; Buffy smiled widely as she jumped out of the seat and kissed him soundly, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against his body "Hey" he repeated.

Willow cleared her throat and blushed "Well, I better get going Oz is waiting for me" she waved at the pair and scurried out of the kitchen quickly.

Buffy smiled at him then went back to her seat; as she sat down the smile gradually fell. Being as tuned to her as he was he could feel the change in her body language before her face dropped, he slipped into the seat beside her and ran his hand over her thigh "What's wrong?"

She looked to the table then back at him with a small shrug "It's nothing… Will and Oz have decided to move in together, which is great!" he nodded at her to continue "There's no way I could afford this place on my own… plus the Landlord says we have two weeks' notice"

Angel frowned, that didn't sound right to him "Buff, they usually have to give four weeks' notice" he heard her chuckle and raise her eyebrow.

"He did… he gave us a letter but we forgot to reply to him, I mean it's okay; I'll be going back to College and need my money to go where I need it most, I'll just have to move back in with my mom and sister"

She frowned at the thought, not that she didn't love her mom and sister, she did but having lived away from them for many years she was used to living off of her own schedule and doing things the way she wanted too.

The few times that she'd spent back at her childhood home had been tough, Joyce would buzz around her first thing in the morning expecting her to tidy up behind herself immediately and Dawn was now at that age where she would spend forever in the bathroom to get ready.

Without hesitation Angel gripped her thigh for a moment and smiled "Why don't you move in with me?" he saw the surprise come over her face then felt a flash of hurt when she laughed nervously "What?" Out of all the reactions, happy, excited – laughing wasn't what he imagined.

Seeing his face fall before he brought up that mask of indifference she felt bad, she didn't mean it like it sounded – replaying her reply she wanted to kick herself "Angel" she got up from the chair then sat across his lap.

He looked down to the ground then back at her and shrugged "Well, we're always together… you've not spent a night in this house for a week or two and I know how much you wouldn't want to move back in to your moms house"

As he babbled his face looked like a hurt little boy, he was even almost pouting which made her insides melt. She grabbed his chin and squeezed his lips together "Angel!" she leaned down and nipped at his lips playfully then chuckled.

"I'd love to move in with you!" his eyes opened in surprise "I didn't mean to laugh; I just wasn't expecting you to ask me that… I know that we've not been together that long, I was just surprised" she smiled kindly at him.

Angel ran his fingers up and down her back causing her to shiver in delight, tipped his head "Buff, I know that things have happened fast since I've came back but I mean it, I want you to move in; hell, move in today… all I know is I still love you"

Her eyes glazed over at his words, it made her heart melt that he still did, sure over time they would gradually go back there but to know that he had never stopped loving her made her insides tingly.

She closed her eyes as her bottom lip trembled then leaned down to kiss him with all of her might, she knew she loved him too but couldn't put it to words so she hoped that he would know by this kiss.

Angel smiled through the kiss and squeezed her tight, she pulled out of the kiss and brushed her lips gently over his "Best get packing" he kissed her hard then raised his eyebrow at her, she frowned playfully at him.

He picked her up carefully as he stood making her giggle; they stood still for a moment looking into each other's eyes before heading upstairs to get her things.


	22. Chapter 21

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Only a few weeks after Willow had moved in with Oz she made the announcement that they were expecting a baby, the news was bittersweet for Buffy; on one hand she was extremely happy for her best friend but that pang of longing happened.

Will had been a little reluctant to tell her the news but Buffy was adamant that she was okay and not to downplay the turn of events. They were snuggled on the sofa watching a movie when she told Angel the news and could feel his body tense.

His arm wrapped around her tighter and laid his cheek on top of her head "That's great news" she smiled weakly before shifting to face him, she could see the worry in his eyes. If truth be told she was surprised at herself for being strong.

"Angel, I'm not going to break…" he stroked the side of her face with his fingers, she closed her eyes and leaned against his touch "This is a good thing, I'm happy for them" her smile became genuine as she remembered the excitement on her friends face.

Angel wrapped both his arms around her and shifted her onto his lap, he searched her eyes to see if she was telling the truth, although there was a hint of sadness he could see that she was okay and was happy.

"I'm fine" she grabbed his face with her hands to hold him in place "I'm fine" she stressed her words before kissing him lightly; he tightened his grip on her and rolled them to lay down on the sofa. She scowled playfully at him and hugged him closer.

Angel nudged the pillow behind his head to get comfortable then tightened his arm around her body as she snuggled against him. She placed her head on his chest and sighed contentedly.

Buffy closed her eyes and focused on the steady thump, thump of his heart "Willow will be a great mom" her fingers played with the button on his shirt pocket for a moment before she ran her palm down his side to grasp onto his hand.

He tilted his head to the side and kissed the top of her hair "Yeah she will be" soothingly he ran his free hand up and down her back until they both fell asleep.

Oooooooooooooo

When Christmas came his mom and dad flew out to California to join the festivities, Kathy fussed over Buffy, they had spoke on the phone once or twice but it wasn't the same; she was happy that her son found her again and was happy.

Joyce, Dawn and Kathy were in the living room talking over past events, Angel was in the kitchen putting final touches on their meal; Buffy was sitting out on the porch just enjoying the cooler air that December brought.

Colin stepped outside and cleared his throat "May I?" when she nodded he sat down on the bench beside her "I've been waiting to speak to you all evening but I couldn't get you alone" he chuckled as he looked at the garden then back at her.

Buffy smiled at the older man, he was a second father to her, although he wasn't much of a speaker he always showed that he cared for her "I know how much you mean to my son, I'm sure I don't have to tell you how hard it was when we left… I'm glad that you can be together again"

Colin smiled and pulled out and envelope from the pocket on the inside of his waistcoat "This, I wanted to give you, well both of you… I want you to have this" he handed her the envelope and smiled widely.

She pulled out the paper from the inside and scrunched her eyebrows, she read through the deeds and choked, this was unexpected "What?" she looked over to the man who was for all intents and purposes her father-in-law in shock.

The older man chuckled "Angel thinks that were selling this place, I couldn't bare it; it's a beautiful cottage and deserves someone who would enjoy spending some time there in the summer" the deeds he handed over was for their property in Galway.

Buffy looked down at the papers and stuttered, this was beyond nice, it was their first Christmas together and the in-laws got them a house? Of course it was there's already but still it was a grand gesture "Wow"

She cleared her throat and looked to him with tears in her eyes "I don't know what to say… thank you" she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeeze him tight. Colin chuckled and patted her on the back "You're more than welcome Buffy"

The older man cleared his throat and smiled fondly.

"You know, this was one of the places me and Kath stayed at on our honeymoon, we've not been back in so long, although we've travelled all our lives it's time we stop with the long haul flights and give this place to people who are in love who could find space in their hearts to love this too"

Buffy put the papers back in the envelope "I've never been to Ireland… in fact the furthest I've been is to Mexico" she chuckled, she'd longed to travel for so long but the costs were too much to do on a whim "Thank you again"

Colin shrugged his shoulders "Needn't say thank you dear, you're family" he ran his hand over her hair then went back inside. Buffy remained on the bench for a minute or so longer then headed back inside; she placed the envelope in the drawer so she could help with dinner.

Angel was buzzing around the kitchen when she entered, he tipped his head to the side "You okay?" he could see the glassiness in her eyes. She smiled widely and wrapped her arms around him and placed a kiss on his back "I'm perfect"

Her small hands ran up and down his chest as she pressed into his back "I know" he smirked down at her then leaned down to kiss her when she ducked under his arm to face him. The kiss grew heated in a matter of moments but they pulled away when they heard Joyce holler.

"Honey, Mr Giles is here" Buffy looked to Angel one last time then left him alone in the kitchen, she looked around the living room to his and her family, well their family and she couldn't help but smile.

Oooooooooooooo

She watched with love and with sadness as Angel cradled Will and Oz's new born baby who was only a couple of hours old. His face was lit up as he gently rocked the baby and made the cutest noises, that pang came back, the one that longed for one of her own.

"She's beautiful Will" she looked back to her best friend who was glowing and smiled widely, it had been a long night in the hospital for the two of them but that didn't matter, they now had their baby in their arms after nine long months.

Willow smiled "Thank you" she stifled a yawn then blushed, Oz kissed the top of her hair then took a seat beside the bed. She turned back to Angel who was still smiling at the bundle in his arms, he was a natural; fatherhood suited him.

"You wanna hold her?" she came out of her daze and nodded, her hands were shaking as she walked over to him; it had been many years since she had held a baby and was nervous. She calmed herself and sat in the seat that he had vacated.

"Hi" the baby opened her eyes and gurgled, Buffy bit her lip at how cute she was "Aren't you just precious" at the funny face the baby pulled she laughed softly, she was so proud but at the same time she felt like crying.

The new parents were deep in conversation with each other not paying them attention, Buffy was almost in a trance; her eyes never leaving the precious bundle in her arms, even when a nurse came in to check up on Willow.

Angel ran his knuckles over her cheek, he kept a close eye on her as he watched her cuddle the baby, he'd managed to get out of her that she was a little jealous of the couple but was still incredibly happy.

They spent the rest of the visit slot holding the baby, when the time was up Willow grabbed Buffy's hand before she left "I wanted to ask you something…" she cleared her throat then smiled "I'd like you to be the baby's godmother"

Buffy felt the tears surface in her eyes "Oh Will, I'd love too" she leaned over and hugged her friend "Thank you… get some rest and I'll come back tomorrow!" the red head nodded then yawned once again, Buffy gave Oz a quick hug then left.

Angel stopped off at a bakery to pick up some cakes before they headed back home, usually she would be the first one in the box picking out the best one and scoffing it before they'd stepped over the threshold but the box was still sealed.

He followed her as she went into the living room and curled up on the sofa, bringing the blanket that rested on the back around her "What's wrong?" she looked slowly from the ground up to him and forced a smile.

"Just tired" he knew that was a lie, she was feeling down. He came over to the sofa and pulled her into his arms, bringing the blanket around him too.

His hands found hers resting over her tummy, he covered them then ran this thumb over the top of her hand "Nice of them to make you the Godmother huh?" she nodded silently against his chest; he placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Buff… I know this is tough, I don't know exactly how you are feeling but I want you to know that I love you" he tipped her chin so he could look into her eyes but they were closed and her bottom lip was trembling.

He ran his thumb over her lip "We're in a good place just now, Work is good… you're doing well in college but if you want… we can try?" her eyebrows scrunched together when she finally opened her eyes to look at him.

Angel smiled down at her "I know how much it means to you to be a mom and hell, having a baby in your arms looks good on you" Buffy puckered her lips together then looked back at him "What?"

She shifted so that she could look at him properly "Really?" when he nodded she stifled a sob and wrapped her arms around his neck, although she wanted a baby badly she wasn't in a rush to get pregnant, if that was the case then she would have stopped her birth control earlier.

He was right, they were in a good place, although she was towards the end of the first year of her college of course she didn't mind putting the future years on hold; she still had a part time job that would give her something to do.

She trailed kisses along his neck then latched onto his mouth, her tongue slipped inside to massage his; she pulled back and rested her forehead against his when the need to breathe ruined the moment "When do you think we should start?"

She yelped in surprise when he stood up with her in his arms "How about now?" she scowled at him playfully then shook her head "There are cakes in there that need to be eaten Mister!"

Angel looked at her with hooded eyes then murmured against her ear "There can be cake in bed" she wrapped her arms around him tightly as he took her in a searing kiss, before grabbing the box on the way up to the bedroom.


	23. Chapter 22

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Buffy took a sip of the freshly made lemonade and wafted herself with the magazine in her hand, summer was now in full effect and the sun was relentless; for the past week the temperature was at least 8 degrees above the norm.

Standing up from the lounger she made her way over to the pool and carefully walked down the steps, the water was unbearably cold but it was a welcome change to the sun. She groaned when her cell went off, she climbed back out of the pool to grab it.

"Hey… oh, no that's okay" she replied quietly as Angel expressed that he would unfortunately have to work for an hour or two later that evening, she told him that she would be fine and that she couldn't wait to see him.

Lately he was always working; he was banking extra hours to create a trust for their future child… not that she was pregnant at the moment but it didn't hurt to be prepared.

Her bottom lip jut out as she thought about their situation, before she could worry herself with too many thoughts she was startled from her daze by the banging of a door.

"I told you Linds, It's not that I don't want your kids I do" she peeked through the slats in the fence to see Darla with her hands on her hips, Lindsay looking more than upset "Don't give me that Darlin, you don't want this to work"

Darla grabbed onto his hand, her usual I don't give a fuck façade now crumbling "No I love you, but I'm too young, we can have a family in a few year time… just for the time being I'm having an abortion and you should support me on that!"

Lindsay ran his hand over his hair in frustration "Why can't our time be now?" Darla came over and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him gently; one of his hands travelled to her flat stomach then paused.

"I don't want IT now, give me just a few year then we'll talk" his hand immediately dropped from her skin; reluctantly she unwound her arms and took a step back to look at him pleadingly.

Without saying anything Linds went back inside and slammed the door again, Darla let out a shriek then dialled the number to the clinic. Buffy listened in sickness as she heard Darla laugh with the nurse on the phone as she made a date to terminate the pregnancy.

She looked down at her hands and fought the urge to wring Darla's neck, the other blonde was oblivious that her conversation had been overheard, not that it probably mattered anyway. When the front door slammed Darla sneered "How overdramatic"

Buffy watched as Darla swung her hips side to side over to the outside bar and poured herself some Merlot from one of the bottles stored inside. The older blonde downed the contents then poured another before taking her position on the sun lounger.

Being as quiet as possible, Buffy picked up a towel that was on the patio and wrapped it around her body; she hugged herself tightly, all of a sudden feeling cold despite the warm weather. She stood for a few moments in a trance then took a deep breath.

Oooooooooooooo

Angel frowned when he saw that none of the lights were on in the house, he opened the door and looked around "Buffy?" he walked around the ground floor of their house before heading upstairs, like downstairs she was nowhere to be found.

He dialled her cell then followed the sound to where it was ringing, he headed by the pool and up to the back of the yard, Buffy was sitting on the swing that she had forever went on about. He hung up then looked at her; it worried him that she had that blank look on her face.

"Buff?" after a moment she blinked once then looked at him, carefully he sat beside her on the swing "What's wrong?" her head was resting on her knees, she'd curled up into a ball, like she was trying to shut out the world.

She was still in her swimsuit albeit dry, the wind had picked up so the temperature was a few degree less than usual. There were goose bumps all over her body, going by her demeanour she didn't realise how cold it had turned.

He ran his hand over her shoulder, reluctantly she let go of her knees then tucked one underneath her as she sat back down "I keep thinking to myself… I must have done something really bad either in this life or a past life"

Angel frowned, before he could say anything she continued, her voice fraught with pain "I've tried to do good, I have a wonderful life… I have you…" her voice crackled with emotion "the only thing I want now would be a baby… it's been five month and nothing's happened"

He let out a sigh and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tight in his embrace and placed a kiss on her hair "It'll happen sometime Buffy, we knew that it was highly unlikely that that you would get pregnant straight away"

Buffy nodded sadly "I know that…" she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand then looked at him "I overheard Darla today… she's pregnant but doesn't want it, made an appointment to kill her baby"

The look of grief on her face made his chest tighten, he squeezed her tight and kissed her forehead gently "I know I shouldn't have listened but how could she do that? Do you know how much it hurts that she has what I want and doesn't care?"

Her body started shaking with emotion "I've ate healthy, I've took all the vitamins… we've been having a LOT of sex" he smirked at her for a moment then looked at her seriously "We've done everything we can and it's not happened… what…"

Buffy took a deep breath "What if the accident done something to me? What if I can't have a baby?" she looked at him with wide eyes, his heart was breaking for her, she looked so sad and defeated, when she started to cry he wiped away the tears.

He hushed her until the sobs evened out, he wanted so badly for her to get pregnant, each month since their agreement he waited with her until the day she would get her period and storm around the house in a foul mood.

They'd even bought those little tests that predict when the best time to conceive would be, those few days they'd hardly leave bed, spending all day in every position they could think of until they were completely spent.

Angel tucked some hair behind her ear then kissed her softly "Tomorrow we'll call the doctor and book an appointment, doesn't hurt to have the tests carried out…" she nodded sadly at him, he sighed deeply and brought her further into his embrace.

"You know I have heard that if you are planning, sometimes your body gets stressed and can tamper with getting pregnant… why don't we wait till we get the results then take some time off, go to the cottage, we've not been there yet"

Buffy reluctantly smiled, she loved him so much, he was caring and considerate and knew how to make her feel better "That sounds good" she placed her head on his chest and closed her eyes, just wanting to spend a few more minutes in his arms.

Angel held her tight until her stomach rumbled with hunger, she looked away in embarrassment then smiled when he stood and brought her against his body "Come on, I'll make us some food and you can change into proper clothes" she only nodded as he led her back inside.

Oooooooooooooo

She had been a nervous wreck the day the appointment came to go to the clinic for both of them to be tested, despite that the doctor was caring and very informative it still didn't put her at ease, what if she couldn't have children naturally, what would happen?

Feeling sorry for herself she skipped on having dinner and went straight to bed, Angel frowned but didn't say anything, if he pushed dinner then she would fight him on the subject. He wrapped up some food and placed it in the fridge knowing that she would scrounge during the night.

She pretended to be asleep when he finally retired for the evening but it didn't fool him, he slid under the covers and wrapped his arm around her waist "Goodnight Buff, I love you" he kissed her hair then closed his eyes.

When he finally went to sleep she tried to go to sleep herself but couldn't, after a few hours of lying in his arms she headed downstairs to grab some food. She rolled her eyes playfully as she looked at the note with a love heart attached to the foil covering the dinner he had made.

She was thankful that he was considerate and tolerated her being a brat and within minutes she had inhaled the food and drunk a full pitcher of water. By the time she had returned to bed he was still asleep, she laid back down to face him.

Her fingertips gently grazed over his forehead, along his nose then traced his lips; she could spend all evening tracing his features. Although it would be difficult if she couldn't conceive naturally she knew that it would be all worth it to have his children.

All she could picture was a little boy who looked like a tiny version of his father, the same chocolate eyes, dark brown hair and beautiful facial structure; if she could have one wish it would be that. She leaned down to kiss him then jumped when his hand came to the back of her head.

Angel rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand then propped his head on his hand "Everything okay?" he glanced past her to see the clock glowing _03:52._

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" she scrunched her nose up feeling bad that she had disturbed his sleep. His free hand stroked her arm then settled on her hip that was hidden under the sheets, although she hadn't been crying he could see how upset she was.

He leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose "Get some rest, all we can do is wait now" she smiled weakly at him, he slid his hand underneath the covers to hold on to her, his fingertips trailing along her spine "No matter what happens, we'll have a family one day, I promise"

A genuine smile spread on her face as she scooted closer to him and wrapped her free arm around his neck, they held each other's gaze not feeling the need to say anything. Angel kissed her softly before rolling onto his back and bringing her against his chest.

Buffy let out a contented sigh and closed her eyes, he was right, there was no point in worrying, it wouldn't bring the results quicker. He kissed the top of her head once again making her smile; it wasn't long before they both fell asleep.


	24. Chapter 23

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"Does it only ever rain here?" she huffed as she looked out the window that was being pelted by heavy rain, being a California girl she was used to the sun all year round, it was the middle of summer and they were stuck inside the cottage.

Angel chuckled, since they had arrived in Galway three days ago they'd had nothing but cloud and rain, he wanted to explore the countryside just as much as she did; his parents always talked about how beautiful this place was.

A loud clap of thunder exploded in the distance making her jump, she pulled the drapes over the window to block out the gloom and joined him on the sofa in front of the log fire. She snuggled against his chest and smiled.

"I've never saw as much rain in all my life!" she thumped her fist against his chest teasingly when he groaned "What? On the drive here it looked so beautiful and so far we've only seen the inside of this house!" she peeked up at him with her eyebrow raised.

Angel stroked her hand with his thumb "Well, why don't we go down to that bar we saw in the road in and have a few drinks?" he was also getting cabin fever staying in, he loved just having her all to himself with no distractions but the walls were closing in on him too.

Buffy nodded once; at least they would be getting out of the house for a change. When they first arrived they were in awe, the cottage was bigger than their own home, they spent the full first day checking out the place, being stuck in for the past few days meant they had seen everything there was to see.

"What do I wear? I've only ever been out to the Bronze… do I wear a dress or wear jeans?" she frowned again at the thought, Angel rolled his eyes "You can wear whatever you want, you always look beautiful"

"Hmm, I would say that you're being sweet but I know you just want me to chose already so we can go?" she smiled at him sweetly then thumped his chest once more, he grabbed her hand then rolled her underneath him so she was trapped.

Her chuckle tapered out as she stared into his eyes but she refused to bow down to the pressure, she scowled at him. Angel kissed her mouth softly then smirked "Dress?" he kissed her again "Or jeans?" the next kiss he nibbled on her lower lip then swiped his tongue inside.

Buffy moaned against his mouth then giggled when his fingers began to tickle her side "Stop!" she swatted his shoulder unsuccessfully. Finally relenting he sat back on his haunches and brought her up with him "Come on"

He grabbed onto her hand and walked her up to the bedroom to help her chose; otherwise they wouldn't get out the house that night. He kissed her soundly before nudging her towards her clothes.

Angel reclined on the bed as she raided through the closet for something to wear, he watched her every movement with fascination, no matter how annoyed or fed up she was she was always elegant in the way she moved.

Sometimes he still couldn't believe that she was his, that they had made their way back to each other and that she actually gave him a chance when they were teenagers.

She could feel his gaze burning through her so she thought she would play up a little, slowly she reached for the hem of her top and pulled it over her head inch by inch, letting the material slide over her skin then fall to the floor.

Buffy peeked from the corner of her eye at him then hooked her thumbs through her jeans and shimmied out of them, daintily stepping one foot out then the other. When she turned to take her bra off she let out a surprised gasp when his hands touched her skin.

One hand pushed on her back urging her to bend and place her hands on the wall in front of her and the other grazed up the back of her thigh then cupped her through the panties that she hadn't got around to taking off.

Angel trailed kisses along her spine the bit onto her earlobe "You are beautiful" as his tongue darted out to taste the skin on her neck he stroked her through her panties. Buffy shifted from foot to foot and stifled a moan "We're going to be late"

He chuckled against her skin "Do you care?" she turned round to pull his shirt off and shook her head, she didn't care at all, it would still be there even if they showed up much later.

Buffy ran her hands down his chest softly till she reached his belt then her fingers worked quickly to loosen the leather then pull down his slacks. As he shimmied out of them she wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled lightly.

It took 10 days for the results from the clinic to come back, Angel was fit and healthy and Buffy, well they said that nothing was wrong, there was no damage to her caused by the accident over a year ago, they advised that the stress she was placing on herself may be deterring conception.

It was a relief to them both that there could be a possibility that they could conceive naturally and had decided to take a break on the nonstop baby making sex that they'd been having. They hadn't cut out sex completely but certainly slowed down.

Angel stepped closer and trapped her against the wall; he bent his knees so she could jump up and wrap her legs around his waist. Buffy tilted her head to the side to allow better access as he licked and sucked on her neck.

"Angel…" he murmured against her neck in reply then carried her off towards the bed, he climbed on and carefully laid her on the mattress. For a moment all they done was look into each other's eyes Angel traced the features on her face before leaning down for a kiss.

Oooooooooooooo

Thankfully for the rest of the time they spent in Ireland the weather had picked up, it was sunny and warm, not as warm as Sunnydale was but at least the rain held off. The pair of them explored the rest of Galway; they went on day trips and even went on a _pub-_ crawl.

Buffy looked out of the window of the car with mixed emotions, it had been a great break away that allowed her some time to just relax and forget about her troubles back home but she was sad that she was leaving, it truly was a beautiful location.

"What you thinking about?" she looked over to her love and smiled "Nothing" his warm brown eyes squinted for a moment causing her to chuckle "Okay, okay… I'll miss this place, you were right I do love it here, now if it didn't rain half as much I could see me moving here"

Angel chuckled too, he had the same thoughts - although he had family in Ireland and had spent a summer with them; that was the other side of the island, spending two weeks in Galway had been what they needed, it was relaxing.

"I'm glad to be going home though, I've missed everyone so much" he linked his fingers through hers and brought her hand to his mouth, Buffy smiled warmly at him then leaned over to his him quickly before the lights turned to green.

Oooooooooooooo

"Did you have a good time in Ireland, honey?" Buffy looked up from the magazine she was reading and nodded; Joyce smiled back at her daughter and took a sip of her juice. Seeing the overall change in her daughter from being completely lost to almost resembling her former self made her incredibly happy.

Having Angel back in their lives had certainly been the catalyst to get Buffy's life back on track, not only that he was an overall good guy that she got on with. When Buffy first brought around Riley she smiled kindly but was guarded.

The longer the relationship went on, the engagement, the wedding then married life she came to like him – barely. There was always something off, a mother knows, she could sense her daughter retreating into herself, any time she would broach the subject she was rebuffed.

Buffy still hadn't told her what fully transpired in her former marriage, she now knew that divorce papers had been drafted, something about their being differences between the pair that couldn't be mended.

Joyce watched as Angel greeted her with a smile then leaned down to kiss Buffy who had craned her neck when she heard his heavy footsteps on the wooden floor in the hallway. Her daughters face lit up then went pink from embarrassment at the display.

Angel placed the bags from the grocery store on the counter then began to unload them, Joyce marred her brows "What's all this?" he turned around long enough to flash her his trademark smirk then scrunched up the empty bag.

"Dawn called; she's going to Janice's for the evening so it's just you, Buffy and I for dinner" when Joyce brought out the knife to start cutting the vegetables he pulled it carefully out of her hand and gave her a look that told her to sit down.

Not wanting to push the subject and actually have a night off from slaving over a hot stove Joyce sat down and gave Buffy a funny look. Buffy smirked back at her mother then leaned back in the seat to watch her love busy himself with making dinner.

Both Summers' women patted their full tummy's in delight in the same fashion, Joyce then took the plates and ordered the pair to retreat to the living room as she would tidy up the dishes. As the evening grew Buffy forced her eyes to stay open and they knew it was time to call it a night.

By the time he had drove the fifteen minutes to get to their house Buffy had fallen asleep and was snuggled around the blanket that Joyce had give them to take home. He looked at her peaceful face and frowned, they had been back from Ireland for five days and she was struggling to adjust to the time difference.

Instead of waking her up he carefully opened the door, unlatched the belt and scooped her into his arms and carried her inside. Slowly he walked up the stairs but fumbled near the top, the shudder woke up Buffy; she looked around in confusion.

"We're home" he whispered against her ear then kissed the top of her cheek, she only nodded then let out a large yawn. Angel let her stand on her own feet then let her shuffle off towards the en-suite bathroom to get ready for bed.

Once she came out he done the same then crawled into bed "Thank you for the dinner" he rolled over to see her sleepy face smile lightly at him. His hand cupped her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her "No problem"

Buffy rubbed at her eyes then frowned as she placed her fingers on her temple "You okay?" upon reopening her eyes she saw the worried look that Angel was giving her. She ran her fingers through his hair soothingly "Yeah, guess the travelling took a lot out of me"

He searched her eyes to see if she was lying or not, he wanted to make sure she was okay, he vowed to protect her and didn't want to overlook any changes in her health. Buffy raised her eyebrow, knowing what he was thinking "I'm fine"

Her hand slid down to the back of his neck and brought him closer to kiss him "Let's just get some sleep" she kissed him again, then again. Angel chuckled against her mouth when she rolled him into his back and straddled his waist.

"Sleep huh?" her small hands ran over his bare stomach, feeling the warmth of his skin then dug her nails softly into his chest "uh huh" she placed open mouth kisses on his neck before her tongue delved inside his mouth.

"Sleep" she let out a moan as he stripped the night dress off of her leaving her just in her panties and cupped her breasts in his hands "Sleep, soon" his eyes had darkened out and she smirked down at him, her previous tired state forgotten.


	25. Chapter 24

**Thanks for Reviewing!**

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It was the summer party that the neighbourhood hosted every year and it was in full swing, it signalled the end of the summer season, not that it mattered anyway as the climate only went from exceptionally warm to warm.

Everyone celebrated anyway; it was an excuse for a massive barbecue and an excuse to drink from early afternoon through to the next morning if you were that hardcore. Buffy was at one of the tables helping to cut up the vegetables for the salad.

Buffy stopped chopping the onions when one of the neighbours scoffed, Amy Madison was nice, a bit of a strange one, but nice none the less – she looked over to where Amy was staring and rolled her eyes "Would you look at what she's wearing?"

Amy shook her head in disgust; most normal people at a neighbourhood party would wear summer clothes, maybe shorts, a dress or something light and airy. The neighbourhood skank Darla had a two piece on with a pair of sheer shorts covering her bottom.

Darla laughed heartily with one of the men and accepted a cup of the cocktail mix that he had handed to her, as usual her husband was sitting alone with a scotch in his hand, glowering at her behaviour.

Buffy looked at her curves and couldn't deny that Darla had a beautiful figure; she could see why a lot of men went for her. Looking down at her own figure that was covered with a sundress she frowned; sure she had gained some weight back and looked healthy but she had a gentle frame.

A few of the married men all tried to ogle her on the sly but her quick eyes caught them, whenever they made eye contact with her they would look away ashamed. When she heard Darla purr out Angels name loudly she tried not to look, fully trusting him.

She couldn't hear what the bimbo was saying to him but glancing from the side of her eye she could see him trying to be polite then politely step aside when her finger hooked into the vest he had on to tug him closer.

Buffy grit her teeth with annoyance then let out a scoff herself "Maybe she confused out here with a beach, huh?" Amy nodded along then patted her shoulder as she walked off to meet her boyfriend who was chatting in a group nearby.

Feeling that she had chopped enough onions she wiped her hands with moist wipes to get rid of the smell then walked towards Angel and Darla. As she got closer she gained confidence in her stride, letting her hips swing from side to side and smile widely.

Angel perked up when he saw her come closer and leaned down to kiss her, taking the opportunity she slipped her tongue into his mouth, making it a lot more heated that she would usually go for in public "Hey"

She smiled slyly at Angel then regarded Darla with little interest "Darla" she felt like a grade A bitch and was loving it, the wind got knocked out her sails when Darla smirked and leaned her head to the side as if she was speaking to a child.

"Oh Buffy Hi" she over acted her sniff then wafted her hand "Wow, something stinks… just like onions huh?" feeling embarrassed Buffy turned red and tried to retreat into herself, Darla looked at her with amusement, loving that she'd made her insecure.

Angel watched the display then frowned when Buffy pressed herself into his side "I've forgotten something inside… I'll be back in a minute" she kissed him quickly then high-tailed it inside to wash her hands.

"That was uncalled for… at least she's helping out and not just drinking" his dark eyes bore into her lighter ones, he was getting annoyed with the constant barbs she would throw at Buffy; he knew Darla had a stick up her ass about being rejected by him.

In response he got a lusty smile, clearly she didn't care what he had just said to her "And I still smell of Chanel… onions or Chanel? I know what I'd go for" she bit her bottom lip as she squeezed his bicep, stepping closer she whispered "Just remember that"

He glared at her as she floated away to speak to one of the older men, who he had no doubt she was probably sleeping with behind Lindsay's back as well. His body relaxed and he smiled down at Buffy when she reappeared beside him "Hi"

Her voice was small and shy compared to the confidence she exuded only minutes prior, he turned so he was fully facing her and pulled her body flush against his "Buff, she was just being a bitch…" he came down to kiss her softly "Don't listen to her"

Buffy nudged her nose off his then sighed "I know" what she hadn't told him was that when he wasn't there, Darla was an even bigger bitch who belittled her any way possible "I just don't like bitchy people"

Not wanting to discuss the matter any further Buffy kissed him again playfully "Okay, lets grab a drink… and then we'll get some food" she linked her fingers through his and led him to the alcohol to get them both a drink.

Thankfully for the rest of the evening Darla kept away from the couple, once she'd had a good drink in her she played the loving wife and fawned all over Lindsay, who was equally as drunk and welcomed her attention.

Buffy giggled against Angel's chest as they made their way back to their home, to say they'd both had a few drinks was an understatement, wanting to continue the party she had suggested grabbing the bottle of Champagne and taking it into a bubble bath.

Angel swatted her ass playfully and headed to the back of the yard where they had a bar outside, with the last bottle of Champagne they had as Buffy went to the bathroom to get a start on the bubbles.

Feeling giddy she bounced around the bathroom singing to herself, she poured a generous amount of liquid into the large tub then faced the mirror so that she could pin her hair on her head. Shaking her hips she turned to look outside and stopped in her tracks.

Angel was still in the backyard, champagne in hand but wasn't alone; Darla was standing beside him, her hand caressing his now bare chest. She ground her teeth together at the audacity of the bitch touching him twice in one day.

Her heart rate sped up, she watched the perfectly manicured hand slide down and squeeze his groin through the shorts he had on then press a kiss to Angels jaw. Buffy scrunched her eyes closed and bit down on her lip to stop the sob.

The rational part of her mind was telling her to ignore, Darla was like a cat on heat and that Angel would not reciprocate, he was a good guy, her guy; he would never cheat on her. Unfortunately the rational part of her mind was under a sea of alcohol.

Darla was a beautiful woman; her hourglass body was what all the magazines said was the ideal shape that all guys wanted for their woman – Darla knew she was insecure about her soft figure and had exploited that many a time, it was something as a teen was used in malice as well that she hadn't got completely over.

Angel came into the bathroom, a fraction less happy than he was five minutes ago – Darla was nothing but persistent, he had ripped her hand away from his crotch and gave her a harsh warning about leaving him and Buffy alone, his deathly tone for once must have broke through as her eyes betrayed how scared she was.

"Buff, I've got champagne" he tilted the bottle carefully in his hand and frowned when he saw her rigid body from behind and knew instantly she was pissed about something. He sat the bottle on the counter then went over to place his hands on her shoulders.

Immediately she shrugged out of his grasp and shook her head, when she turned around he could see unshed tears in her eyes "What's wrong?" he took a step forward and she took one away, leaving the same distance between them.

She folded her arms over her chest and glared at him "Is there something you should be telling me, huh?" he frowned not knowing what she was talking about; he shared everything with her "So you're just going to stand there in silence?"

When she was nervous she would babble, when she was happy she would not stop smiling and when she was pissed – well, she wouldn't let things go. He wanted to diffuse this situation rapidly or else they would be there all night.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he held up his hands in an act of peace and looked at her sincerely; the look on her face darkened as she pointed outside and stamped her foot off the tile on the floor.

"Don't lie to me, I saw Darla touch you! She looked pretty cosy doing it… is this what happens when I'm not around?" she glared at him and successfully kept the tears at bay but her face crumpled as she pictured more happening.

Staring at her incredulously, Angel took a minute then glared at her "WHAT?" he couldn't believe what she was accusing him of, never had he ever cheated on any of the women in his life, if he ever got any inclination he would break it off.

When she only looked to the ground he felt the anger rise "Have I EVER gave you any reason to think that I would betray you like that huh?" he saw her body as she tried to hold the tears in and got angrier, his voice lowered dangerously "Aren't you going to answer me?"

Buffy licked her lips and hugged her body tighter, he sounded so angry she was scared to even look at him; she could feel how tense he was radiating off his body. She kept her eyes on the ground as if completely fascinated by the tiles.

Angel clenched his fist causing his knuckles to crack loudly, the sound brought back a horrific memory of her time with Riley, she let out a sob and scurried back, closing her eyes tighter. When he lost his temper he swiped at the bottle causing it to smash on the floor, making her jump once again.

He stormed out of the bathroom and downstairs then paced around the living room, livid that she would think that of him. After a couple of minutes he shook his hands to relieve the tension, as he went through the back door he slammed it without realising.

Buffy jumped when she heard the door slam and let the tears fall freely, her legs gave out and she crumpled to the ground. When the water from the tub overflowed and snapped her out of her trance she pulled the plug and stopped the water.

She waited for over an hour to hear if he was coming home before feeling even more like shit and climbed into bed. She knew she had overreacted; she had accused him of outrageous things and said nothing – absolutely nothing when she should have explained her reasons.

By the time he had calmed down enough to go back inside she was asleep, tears stained her cheeks and she looked lost, even in sleep. He was still pissed at her, he thought they were strong and nothing would get in there way – that she would at least speak her concerns.

Taking one last look he grabbed his phone from the bedside table and stalked off to the spare room, he was pissed at her and he was pissed he would have to sleep on this lumpy, stubborn old mattress. He hated this mattress and hated fighting with Buffy.

Oooooooooooooo

Before she had even opened her eyes she knew she was in for the worst day in a long time, peeking one eye open she saw light flood into the room and she groaned. Her head was killing her.

Taking a few deep breathes she gained the courage to sit up, as soon as she did she regretted it, her stomach churned and she swayed, feeling the rise in her stomach she ran to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet.

"Oh god!" she remembered the party, remembered drinking, remembered going home… then, she closed her eyes and threw up again, she remembered what she saw and what she accused Angel of, how much of a dummy was she.

He would never do anything like that and felt ashamed for even thinking that, she threw up again and choked when she felt bile burn its way up her throat. Once she felt strong enough to stand she made quick work on brushing her teeth.

She scrubbed at her face then put her hands on her head, she'd had many headaches before but this was bad, blindly checking the medicine cabinet she pulled out painkillers and dry swallowed them "Yuck!" she went to walk out the bathroom and forgot about the broken bottle and got a shard stuck in her foot.

Buffy yelped in pain and turned her foot to check the damage, having terrible luck it was a large piece of glass and the damned first aid box happened to be in the kitchen. Doing her best to keep the injured foot in the air she carefully hobbled downstairs.

Although she hadn't woke up beside him she knew he was still in the house, most likely in the spare bedroom and hopefully still asleep so she could work up the nerve to speak to him and apologise for being a complete idiot.

With her luck being close to nil already she hobbled into the kitchen to be faced with Angel hugging a mug of steaming tar like coffee; he looked just as bad as she most likely did. He took one look at her then looked at his drink.

Buffy felt the bile rise again but held it back as she went in search of the first aid kit, she took a sudden bought of dizziness and almost fell but was caught before she fell to the ground. Even though he was upset, he would never let her get hurt.

Angel placed her on the seat carefully and sat across from her to prop her calf on his thigh, he cursed himself that this was partially his fault, he had knocked over the bottle after all, but it was her clumsiness that had caused the injury.

Without saying anything but being gentle as he always would he removed the glass then cleaned the wound and dressed it so it wouldn't get infected. Once he was finished he made no attempt to move her leg back to the ground "thank you"

He looked up at her big sad eyes and felt bad, he looked back to her leg; before he could say anything she cleared her throat "I'm sorry!" he slowly looked over at her "I know you didn't do anything with Darla and you never would whilst we are together, you're the best guy I know"

When his thumb began to rub circles on the sole of her foot she continued, sounding more confident "I know I was a complete dummy… it's just that when you're not around Darla says some hateful things to me… that I still look like I'm in training bra's and she's obviously not"

Her bottom lip jut out and her eyes glazed over "Sometimes I think to myself, why would you, who could get the most beautiful woman in the world be with me… plain old Buffy?" she looked away as a tear escaped from her eye.

Before she could wipe it away she felt his thumb gently run over her cheek, she looked up to see his face look conflicted "You are the most beautiful woman in the world, Buff" he gently moved her leg off of him and came close to kiss her.

"I'm still pissed" she looked away in shame as he continued "…I do love you Buff but I need to know that you trust me, otherwise…"

Her head shot round and she looked at him in fear "I do! I do trust you; I don't know what came over me… I love you so much, I'm afraid I'll lose you!" her hands gripped onto his forearms tightly as she started to cry "I don't want to lose you"

Angel pulled her onto his lap and hugged her close, letting her cry; he was mad but understood that if she bottled up then it wouldn't end well. Once she was cried out she apologised and moved back over to the other seat, holding her head again.

"You okay?" he ran his hand across her back as she took a few deep breathes.

Buffy smiled sadly "Too much to drink, I've been sick and I have the worst migraine ever" Angel kissed her forehead then went to the drawer to pull out painkillers; she declined and said she'd already taken some.

Feeling tender as well he grabbed a couple bottles of water and headed back upstairs with Buffy limping beside him, they climbed into bed and snuggled up under the covers "I hope this migraine doesn't last long"

He slipped out the bed for a moment to shut the curtains, bringing the room into darkness then got comfortable beside Buffy "Thanks Angel" she kissed his chest then laid her head back down, he squeezed her gently then kissed the top of her head.

For the rest of that day they laid in darkness without speaking, Buffy fell asleep which gave him time to go downstairs to make some food for them. She was awake when he got back, accepting the food with thanks she dug in straight away.

Angel watched her as she picked apart the sandwich and smiled, this was something they would get over, he loved her and just like she had said, he didn't want to lose her either "You're staring" she peeked over to him and he ran his knuckles over her cheek.

"I love you" she stopped eating to face him properly; he shrugged with one shoulder then took a bit of his own sandwich. Buffy watched him for a few moments then went back to eating, her stomach was twisting and turning; this day she couldn't wait for this day to end.


	26. Chapter 25

**Thanks for Reviewing! Finally re-writing the last couple of chapters of this story, so only a few more before its finished!**

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"How's LA?" her voice was barely loud enough for him to hear; he could tell she was in a mood. Angel picked up the glass of whiskey and downed the contents in one go before placing the phone between his ear and shoulder so he could pour another.

"Its okay, my neighbour is pissing me off, constantly being loud at night" he walked over to the sofa and slumped down heavily, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Even though he couldn't see her, he could sense her mood darkening further.

He sighed, fed up with everything that had been happening lately "What do you want me to say Buff? It's not like I'm happy being here!" he could practically hear the tick in her jaw as she counted down from ten so not to explode.

Buffy clenched the stress relief ball in her fist, squeezing it to its limits "You could tell your boss to shove the fake 'Oh Angel you're so fantastic, please lick my boots and you might get a promotion' job that he's got you on and come home!"

When he groaned, she continued "Angel, I am three weeks away from giving birth and you're acting like you don't care!" her emotions were a bitch, she could go from being exceedingly happy one minute to bawling her eyes out the next.

"Angel please, I want you home" she started to cry and it cut him deep, he hated to hear her cry, he didn't want to be here but wasn't given a choice; the big boss shrugged when he was told of the upcoming birth; that didn't matter to him, the job did.

Angel closed his eyes "Buffy, all I want is to be home with you… I hate that I'm here" she continued to cry over the phone so he whispered soothing words to try to calm her down. Being in her condition he didn't want her to exert herself.

* * *

That migraine, the one she thought came from a night of drinking too much lasted a few days then went away… it came back with a vengeance a week later, as did the sickness. She placed her head between her knees and took a few deep breathes.

"Buff, you okay?" she looked up slowly to see his warm brown eyes full of concern. Angel came over to the sofa and sat beside her; he pulled her into his embrace and kissed her forehead "Still got that migraine?"

"Yeah, it just keeps coming back… I've not been this unwell in years" she rubbed her hand over her upper arm and frowned, there was a virus that was causing havoc in Sunnydale and she hoped that this wasn't it, everyone infected was severely ill.

Also being one for disliking doctors and hating the hospital, she had avoided making an appointment, knowing that she couldn't push it off she groaned loudly "I'll call the doctor!" she shot him a look when he chuckled.

She got five steps away from him when another spell of dizziness hut her like a truck, she held her arms out to the side to keep her balance but it did nothing. She fell backwards and landed on her backside.

Angel shot out of his seat to try and catch her; he hooked his arms under her armpits just in time so that she landed on her backside softly "Buffy, Buffy, you okay?" he looked down at her to see her blinking rapidly to clear her head.

"Yeah… wow, I don't know why that happened" he picked her up gently and held her against his body, he could feel her weight against him, he had noticed that she would take dizzy spells during the day but she would play it off as just zoning out.

"I'm taking you to the hospital" her head shook violently from side to side before she pressed her body into his embrace, he knew her aversion to them but he'd rather take her there than wait on a doctor's appointment that could be in a few days time.

He ran his fingers through her hair then tilted her head back to look into her eyes, she looked vulnerable "I'm taking you, something isn't right" his eyes challenged hers before she frowned "Well you better buy me a cookie!"

Angel gave her that oh so charming lopsided grin that could bring her to her knees and chuckled "I'll get you a cookie"

She perked up but the smile on her lips didn't reach far "Better be a big cookie" he nodded at her then patted her ass as he led her out to the Plymouth. It didn't take long to get to Sunnydale Memorial to her annoyance and fear.

Buffy linked her fingers through Angel's and remained close to his side, they were told to sit on the hard plastic seats in the waiting room and a doctor would be along as soon as possible to see them.

Five minutes, twenty minutes, sixty minutes; each time she checked the clock she could feel the itch, the itch to run out of here and never come back work its way through her body. Being in tune with her Angel held her hand tight and smiled kindly.

An hour and a half later a stout man came down the corridor and called her name, the pair of them followed him through to one of the examination rooms. The doctor wrote down the symptoms that she was describing and nodding along "Hmmm"

Not liking the tone he used her panicked eyes flew over to Angel, he reassured her with his calming look, not to jump to conclusions "What's wrong?" her voice came out strangely calm despite her insides twisting painfully.

The doctor smiled kindly "Well it could be a few things, if you don't mind we'll have to take some blood and take from there Miss Summers" seeing the look of pure hatred being sent his way he shrugged "It's the only way to positively tell us why you've been feeling this way"

Buffy dug her nails into Angels hand, she hated giving blood but knowing that he was right she nodded mutely "Okay, let's just get this over with" she rolled up her sleeve and frowned; the doctor got the kit and tied the tourniquet around her bicep.

Angel ran his knuckles over her cheek "You're doing great" once the doctor finished Buffy smiled warily. He told the pair that he would send the sample off with the highest importance and get the results to them as soon as possible.

Thanking the doctor, Buffy yanked on Angels arm and got them out of there as fast as they could. She remained silent on the journey home, even as he promised he went to the bakery and bought a box of cookies but she didn't touch them due to worrying.

That night she found sleep difficult, Angel eventually drifted off to dreamland leaving her with her thoughts, she was worried that she could be victim to the virus or that there could be something more serious brewing.

Each day the sickness would come, Angel would worry and continuously check up on her from work and the migraine remained, finally after four days of feeling terrible the doctor called and asked for her to come back to the hospital for the results.

When Angel arrived at the hospital she was sitting outside, crouched down to the ground away from the main entrance, she was taking deep breaths and shaking. He picked her up and hugged her "You'll be okay"

She looked at him warily "You don't know that" she whispered before resting her forehead against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her gently "He's expecting us" she nodded softly as he led her inside.

They were greeted kindly by the same doctor as before, he let the couple sit down for a few minutes in silence then asked whether or not she wanted to be alone for the results or if she'd prefer Angel to remain in the room.

She gripped onto his hand tightly "Angel has to stay!" her body relaxed when his hand glided up and down her back in a soothing manner, she smiled over to him and mouthed 'I love you'

The doctor nodded and opened the file, having a quick read "Well Miss Summers, the blood we took we sent for a few different types of testing… good news is it's not a viral infection, so you're a lucky one to escape the latest illness doing the rounds"

At Buffy's confused look he continued "The sickness, the migraines and the dizziness made me suspicious and the results have confirmed it… these symptoms are due to the changes in your body… congratulations you're pregnant"

The pair of them only stared at the doctor; he raised his eyebrow at them. Buffy's bottom lip wobbled "I'm pregnant?!" her eyes filled with tears as she looked to Angel who still looked stunned, she looked back to the doctor to see him smiling.

"Yes Miss Summers, roughly 12 weeks but we would have to take a scan and discuss a few details such as when your last period was"

Buffy licked her bottom lip "12 weeks? Shouldn't I have known before now? Come to think of it, I can't mind the last time I had a period" she scrunched her eyebrows together then laughed, she couldn't believe that she was finally pregnant.

She faced Angel and was surprised by him kissing her deeply; he kissed her mouth then her forehead and ran his fingers through her fair "Pregnant!" he smiled widely at her, feeling excited and beyond happy that this was finally happening.

"Oh!" she covered her mouth with her hand and looked at the doctor with worry "I drank alcohol two weeks ago and a LOT! Will that hurt our baby?!" she couldn't believe that she'd been reckless and drunk.

The doctor shook his head "It shouldn't if it was just a one off event, if you continually drink heavily then it could cause problems… speak to reception and they will book you in for a sonogram, here are some pamphlets and I hope you have a nice day"

The pair of them thanked the doctor then made their way back home via the reception desk, as soon as they entered Angel pulled her into his arms and backed her up against the wall with utmost care and kissed her.

His hand covered her still flat belly lovingly and he looked into her eyes, she looked just as, if not, even more excited than he was "We finally have our baby" Buffy's eyes glazed over with tears as she nodded "Yeah"

* * *

He was still pissed that the big boss called and summoned him to the LA office, it was a case of get here and get here now. Wilkins was a dick who only looked out for himself, it was like Buffy said, it was a shiny new project that had nothing to do with a promotion.

He was the boss at the office in Sunnydale and the proposal would be a job in the LA office, even if it did come to fruition he would decline, the hell mouth was their home; they wanted to remain there with their child.

Hearing Buffy crying over the phone had hurt him, he felt like a proper let down that he wasn't there – the job was only for a week right enough but the pregnancy hadn't been smooth. The migraines continued, then came the high blood pressure and swelling.

A few times she had been taken into the hospital to be monitored as well as the baby, thankfully the past week she had been okay but being a two and a half hour drive away, it would be difficult to get there quickly during rush hour.

Day three away from her and two hours into his shift he'd had enough, he went into Wilkins office and told him flat out he was leaving to be with Buffy. The older man wasn't amused and said he wouldn't get the promotion but it didn't matter.

Saluting him, Angel grabbed his bag and ran down to the parking lot behind the building, the sooner he got on the road, the quicker he would be with Buffy. Thankfully by the time he reached Sunnydale the rush hour madness just started.

"Buff?" he closed the front door over carefully then headed to the living room; standing still he let the silence of the room wash over him. He followed that familiar tingle up the staircase and into the bedroom where she was asleep.

Angel crept into the room, doing his best not to disturb her then kneeled beside her. His heart clenched to see her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks; it appeared that she hadn't stopped crying once they had ended their call.

"Angel?" her small sleepy whisper disturbed him out of his reverie, he ran his knuckles over her cheek softly then gave her a sad smile "Sorry for making you cry"

Buffy closed her eyes at how miserable he sounded; she placed her hand on top of his and pulled it away from her face as she struggled to sit up. Immediately he got off his knees and helped her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"It's not your fault, its these god-damn emotions…" she let out a small chuckle and wiped the sleep away from her eyes, taking a moment to look at his beautiful face her hand gripped the back of his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss.

Angel responded vigorously, hoping that he could convey how sorry he was for leaving in the first place "I missed you" he kissed her once more before resting his forehead against hers. Buffy smiled dreamily at him then winced "What's wrong?"

She chuckled dryly "Yeah" she looked away from him when he raised his eyebrow, not fooled by her answer "I uh…" she winced again and placed the palm of her hand on the bottom of her back "I've been having pains… for an hour or two"

She looked away from his incredulous gaze and chuckled once more before grinding her teeth at the pain that shot through her "Buff?!" she made a strained noise then finally looked at him "Angel" she scrunched her eyes shut, the pain was getting more frequent and beginning to hurt like hell.


	27. Chapter 26

**Thanks for the Reviews! Sorry about the jumps, i tried to make them as clear as possible... there shouldn't be much more of them.  
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"Buffy?"

She looked up from the bundle in her arms slowly; she hadn't heard that voice in such a long time. Buffy smiled lightly, other than the funeral; to which she went out of respect; she hadn't seen her ex mother-in-law since then.

The elder woman was standing timidly a few feet away, she shifted from foot to foot "Hi, it's been a long time"

Buffy nodded "Yeah" she cleared her throat then blushed at how rude she was being "Jenny, It's nice to see you" Jenny nodded towards the empty chair at the table "May I?" when Buffy nodded in acceptance she slid into the seat.

The two women looked around the table awkwardly for a moment before Jenny took a deep breath "How have you been? And congratulations… how old is the baby?" she nodded to the baby then before twiddling her thumbs.

"Thank you! Oh he's three month old now" That day that Angel had came home from LA she didn't realise that she was in labour, fortunately by the time they got to the hospital and checked they were told everything was okay.

Although the birth lasted for what seemed hours and hours, it went smoothly and he arrived with no complications; making her and Angel the happiest people in the world.

Buffy looked to her little boy then back to Jenny, she saw the longing in her face and felt bad. Although Riley was a bastard, he was her only child and she would never be able to have a grandchild of her own.

Buffy cleared her throat "Would… would you like to hold him?" she saw the surprise written all over the older woman's face then smiled kindly when she began to stutter.

"Wow, yeah I'd be honoured Buffy" she scooped the baby carefully into her arms and sat back down, making sure that the hat was blocking some of the sun from his face "He is beautiful, what is his name?"

Taking a sip of soda she beamed brightly "its Liam… yeah, he doesn't get his looks from me that's for sure" she shrugged her shoulders then sighed.

Jenny shook her head at the comment, typical Buffy, playing down her own worth. When Liam babbled and looked at her she made a face and chuckled "Oh he has your eyes" looking down at the precious bundle in her arms her heart constricted.

When he was growing up she thought that she had raised the perfect gentleman, she had taught him to treat others as he would want others to treat himself but she knew she had failed. Although Riley treated her well, she knew that wasn't the case for Buffy.

She had questioned him and tried to dig deep about why her daughter-in-law was becoming less bright and bubbly and enclosing in on herself – Riley had always said that's just how she was and left no doubt that the line of questioning was over.

"Buffy, I want to say that I don't hold it against you…" when she got a confused look she continued "You know, for finding someone so soon after losing Riley" Buffy looked to the table, unsure of how to answer.

Jenny stroked Liam's cheek softly then looked back at the blonde "I want to apologise for his behaviour, I am ashamed to say that he was my son… I might not know everything that happened but I knew towards the end you weren't happy and more than likely wanted out"

"You are a lovely woman Buffy, I've always been honoured that I was a part of your life and I could always see how much you longed to be a mom when you held other children… I'm glad you found someone who cares for you"

Buffy took a deep breath and whispered "Thank you" to hear his mom say these things was like a weight being lifted off her shoulders. When she was in the hospital having Liam, one of Riley's cousins was in labour at the same time.

What she hadn't told anyone was that his cousin had been a grade A bitch, making comments at how terrible a person she was for shacking up and getting pregnant so soon after her loving husband had passed – they tried to make Liam's birth a not so happy occasion.

She had always respected and cared for Jenny, now she felt like she could let go of that part of her past "I appreciate that Jenny" the two women shared a look before Liam started to cry. Jenny handled the bundle back to his mother.

Buffy hushed him before a tantrum could start and not before long he had drifted off to sleep, Jenny stood up from the chair then placed her hand on top of Buffy's "Your partner is lucky to have you dear, If you need anything you can always call on me"

Jenny gave her one last look before wandering off down the street and out of sight; Buffy watched her go then lingered on the corner where she turned.

If anyone out of the family she expected to hate her, she thought it would have been Jenny. Riley was a momma's boy, he lived and breathed for Jenny; at one point she was jealous from it but then it astounded her when he acted harsh towards her.

It was nice to know that IF she needed her, that Jenny would be there for her. She snapped out of her day dream when Willow sat down at the table "Hey Buffy! Hope you haven't been here for too long" she smiled to her friend and shook her head.

"Nope" she grabbed a menu then made a face "I am starving though!" the red head nodded in agreement then looked at the menu herself. The waiter took their order and brought another soda out for the pair.

The pair of them were in a conversation about Willows new job when she was hit with some food "Oh you!" she wiped her hand then scowled playfully at her daughter "Ava is acting like she's in her terrible twos and she is not even two yet!"

Buffy chuckled then tapped Ava on the nose with her pointer finger "I think she's just bored with our talk about work… it supposed to be a day off" Willow then scowled at her then thanked the waiter for their food.

"I know… but the project that I'm working on just now is so exciting!" she beamed brightly before taking a bite of food, Buffy sniggered, work was work but to Willow it was everything. Sometimes she reminded her of how she was in high school – getting thrilled over homework.

Willow made a face "Okay, okay, talk of work is done" she nodded once "So… have you came to a decision on what to get Angel for his birthday?"

Buffy frowned "No, he's not exactly share guy when it comes to what he wants, it's usually a ' _I have you and Liam, I don't need anything else_ ' and I'm like okay I love you too but?" Willow giggled at Buffy's weak attempt of Angel's voice.

"Why don't you surprise him with a night away" she wiggled her eyebrows at her "I mean, you two haven't had a lot of alone time since this little guy showed up" Liam babbled as if to agree and she ran her finger over his chubby little cheeks.

The idea sounded tempting, really tempting but she frowned "It does sound good but… I don't know if I could leave him yet…" although she was the motherly type, she'd never thought that she would turn down alone time with Angel.

Willow gave her a knowing look, that was something she struggled with when Ava was still only a few month old "It's so hard thinking of leaving them for the first time… but trust me, you'll be okay, especially if it's for some _alone_ time"

Buffy bit her lip then smirked "Okay, okay I'll think about it… who knew you'd be excited about looking after two babies huh?" the red head froze then mumbled something under her breath before picking up her phone.

"Oh, that's Oz… the van still hasn't been fixed so I'll have to pick him up" Willow frowned, usually she didn't mind car sharing but not when it was her day to be with her friends, it was a rarity as it was.

Buffy wrapped her arms around her friend and hugged her tight "Thanks for today Will, I'll see you soon" she leaned over to Ava and waved goodbye to her before securing Liam in his stroller.

She knew that Angel was at home, he worked a lot more from his office at home that he did in the actual office since they became a family of three but she didn't want to disturb him, with it being a nice day she didn't mind the walk home.

The more she thought of Willows idea the more she liked it; Angel was a difficult person to buy for, although their house was well decorated, he wasn't that much of a material person. Any homemade gift or even meal she managed to cook without burning was what he thanked her for the most.

She was in high spirits at all the ideas swirling in her head about what to do and what to surprise him with she was practically grinning from ear to ear – looking a little bit crazy as she was on her own. As she turned the corner onto their street the smile slipped from her face.

At the end of the cul-de-sac, in front of their house, was an ambulance with its lights flashing harshly. She picked up the pace with the stroller and willed her heart to stop beating so wildly "Angel?"

By the time she got to the ambulance the doors were being slammed shut and the paramedics raced around to the front cab before tearing away. Her eyes followed the vehicle before she spun around to be faced with Angel.

He was soaked to the bone, his clothes were like a second skin and his hair a mess; he looked dumbfounded as she stared to the ground "Angel! What happened?!" as she closed in on him he didn't even look at her.

Securing the lock on the wheel she stepped to the side and ran her hands over his chest and up to cup his jaw "Tell me what happened?" he blinked a few times before looking her in the eyes, a moment passed before he clicked on that it was Buffy.

"I heard arguing… I didn't think anything of it, the door slammed and not long after the crying stopped" he took a shaky breath and cleared his throat "…she was face down in the pool"

Buffy felt sickness rising, she hadn't seen him this shook up in such a long time; she knew immediately who he was talking about. Lately their arguments had got worse, despite not being fond of her, she didn't want harm to come to her "Will she be okay?"

Angel looked at her and shrugged "I don't know how long she was down there… she wasn't responding" he shook his head again then his gaze settled on her warm green eyes, he ran his arms around her little waist and gripped her tight.

She knew that he always tried to be the brave one, the one with the calm exterior who could handle anything life threw at him, however, deep down he was a worrier, he always hated the thought of any harm coming to anyone, especially if he was powerless.

"Come on… we'll get inside and get you out of those clothes" she smiled carefully at him then turned to the stroller and pushed it to their house, her other hand was still linked with his as she led him inside.

Angel walked up to their bedroom in a daze as she took Liam to the nursery; thankfully it looked like he was out for the count so she placed him in the bassinet and grabbed the baby monitor. She placed the monitor on the bedside cabinet then jumped "Angel!"

He spun her around - One hand slid up to the nape of her neck and his fingers wound through her hair, the other traced her jaw lightly; the raw emotion in his eyes started to scare her "I can't imagine what Linds' is going through… if that happened to you…"

Although he didn't know exactly what he was going through, he'd been close to it – all those feelings of when Buffy went missing came rushing to the surface and it scared him.

His mouth crushed down on hers as he pulled her into his iron clad grip, she could feel the urgency behind his kiss, the fear of something happening fuelling his need for her. Angel tugged her shirt over her head and made quick work on her jeans.

He shimmied out of his boxers as he picked up her nude form and laid her gently on the bed, he looked down into her emerald eyes "I don't ever want to lose you" the next kiss was so gentle she could barely feel his lips.

"Angel, I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me too" she ran her fingers through his damp hair and smiled up at him. He nuzzled his nose against hers before peppering her face with kisses; Buffy ran her hands over his muscled back and let out a gasp when he sucked on her neck.

It didn't take long for the urgency to come back, his fingers worked on her quickly but stopped just before she came; she glared up at him playfully. Angel linked his fingers through hers and laid her hands on the pillow beside her head.

Buffy bit her lip as she stared up into the darkness of his eyes, the look he was giving her made her spine tingle in excitement; he nudged her legs wider with his thighs to which she wrapped her legs around his waist.

He leaned down to kiss her as he rubbed against her intimately, one of his hands clasped both of her dainty wrists together carefully "Buffy" she looked back up at him then placed a kiss on his thumb as it swiped over her lips.

Angel trailed his fingers down between her breasts then skimmed her belly before gripping her hip "You. Are. Mine!" he used that moment to thrust deep inside of her, her breath caught in her throat but that didn't stop her from arching up against him.

"I'm yours!" he started a punishing rhythm that was unlike anything he had ever done before; she broke free of his hand and pulled him down to kiss him deeply.


End file.
